A Wish to Grab Happiness

Volume 10, Chapter 263: The Will that Crumbles and Distorts

Roseau blinked his eyes, remembering the heat that was about to spill out of his lips. He felt strangely good, even though his body was being transformed into something else. It felt rather refreshing. This was his first time feeling like this.

“…After all, my whole life was filled with burning.”

Roseau was once enthusiastic about getting status, gold coins, beauty, and above all, correctness. However, no matter how much he wished, and no matter how much he reached out, he couldn’t get close to any of those glorious things. Even after working hard, those things rolled into Roseau’s hands. The more he wanted them, the farther away his wishes were, and even though he felt he had finally got something, it spilled from the palm of his hand like sand.

There was nothing in Roseau’s hands. No piece of sand was left behind.

“That’s why I was impatient. Many times I wanted to burn everything when I felt impatient. Instead of hoping to grab something, it became my hope to hate them and burn them.”

That’s why Roseau thought this was just what he wanted.

The heat of fire came from within his viscera. The blood-dried body was still, strangely, moving. Was it like a monster or a demon? It was not like a human at all.

“But why am I questioning if I am human or not? It doesn’t matter if my body belongs to a monster or a demon. This is my wish. This is my desire. I hoped for this.”

Roseau felt as if something was falling from the bottom of his head. He didn’t know what it was. But, oh well, it didn’t matter since he didn’t want to understand.

“Oh, righteous and correct ones, just burn! You shall be burned because of your injustice!”

“No one can escape from these flames. As long as a person is just a fickle human being, he or she will envy or hate someone. These flames will burn those emotions. And those emotions will burn that person’s body.”

“Be it the assassin, Philos Trait, and even that Lord of Vice. As long as it’s a creature with emotion and impatience, I’ll definitely kill it.”

A majestic bell resonated in the back of Roseau’s ears. It was terribly comfortable. It was as if he was receiving the revelation and the gospel. The world that never smiled to him before was now finally turning its gaze to him.

Bliss came to Roseau’s ears, saying that it was the salvation given to those who hanged their heads on God.

“Good, yes good. If my wish is given, I won’t need anything else.”

At the same time as the majestic sound of the bell struck his ears, an indescribable voice echoed aloud.

…The beast of robbery defended himself more than anything else, and the burning died.Everything will remain as your wish.

Roseau could no longer hear such mocking sound.

—

Heat erupted out of Roseau’s body, and the long needles pierced into his flesh melted and disappeared like smoke. Bruder’s eyes were slightly struck by the heat.

The reaper, the immortal, the ally of the night.

These words ran through Bruder’s head. Roseau held the long needles with his body, holding them calmly as if pain didn’t exist.

It was a silly delusion for Bruder. These strange beings were the product of the mythical era, and they existed only before Altius came to be. In this world, there were no heroes chosen by fate, no heroes who received the favor of God, and no magic to bring people back to life. There were only remnants left.

“Yes, there is nothing at all.”

“Then, there is only one thing to do. I will have to roll my body on this stage.” Bruder grabbed the needle that was stowed in her pocket and forcibly threw it at Roseau. Her hands made a distorted sound.

The silver needle running in the darkness cut through the hollow like a glittering meteor, but was destined to burn out at the end. The thin needles could no longer even pierce Roseau’s flesh.

“Of course, I know that. And even if I pierce his flesh, he will not be frightened. Then, I think there is no choice but to blind his eyes.” At least, Bruder thought so.

The moment when the long needle burned when it touched Roseau’s heat and turned to smoke, Bruder’s legs kicked the red bricks while oscillating.

Roseau’s appearance and behavior were certainly abnormal. Still, he was just an amateur, if one only took the action of fighting into account. He was probably just a person who wielded his mouth instead of wielding real weapons.

“Then, that’s where I should aim.” Bruder bounced her body, while feeling her heart heating up abnormally. Her ankles roared, and in a blink of an eye, Roseau was right next to her.

After all, he was an amateur. Certainly his eyes couldn’t catch up.

Certainly, the needles would not inflict damage anymore. Even an iron sword would no longer reach its flesh. Then, all she could do was grab one of his arms and try to push him from the roof to the ground. It was the only way Bruder could withstand this monster, even if just a little. Bruder didn’t know if such a human idea could really kill a demon, but it was still better than doing nothing.

Bruder’s arms entangled Roseau’s defenseless right arm. While tightening her joints with Roseau’s, Bruder moved her hips to shift the center of her opponent’s center of gravity.

Grabbing the joints and shaking the center of gravity was a common practice in back alley’s fights. Bruder’s way of throwing her whole weight onto it was enough to throw a large man even if she had a slender body. It was a familiar practice for Bruder.

However, it worked if the other party was a normal person. Bruder realized it now.

Roseau’s body did not budge, no matter how much Bruder put her entire weight on him.

It felt as if she were trying to pull the tail of a mighty dragon and throw it away. She couldn’t move it with just one fingertip. Bruder felt that blood was lost from everywhere in Roseau’s body, except his spine. His eyes hardened.

「…Farewell, righteousness. 」

After saying goodbye, Roseau’s face went crazy. His eyes were stripped and his meshing teeth became sharp enough to look like fangs. Then his arm, which Bruder entwined with, was easily swung.

*sound of cutting through the wind*

It was not clear to Bruder whether it took the form of sound. She knew that a lump of wind bounced behind her ears and shook her skull like a storm. She didn’t even know the top and bottom; let alone the front and back. She couldn’t even figure out what exposure she had now. However, she understood that her heart and internal organs were complaining of a huge heat that almost burned them.

There was a sound of something falling.

Bruder could only understand the situation until she was at a stage where her whole body fell strongly on the red bricks. Blood spilled from her head as if her skull had been cracked. Her heart was hot and distorted, and her body no longer emitted the warning of the burning heat.

Bruder noticed that her right hand was pointing in an impossible direction. It felt as if her body was going to collapse just by moving one fingertip. Rather, it was strange that she was still alive. It was a huge shock.

“I finally understand it after receiving such blow. It’s an existence that transforms humans as mere dust by shaking one arm. It must be a demon.”

“It’s scary. Yeah, fear is biting my neck.” Bruder instinctively shook her teeth.

It was a coincidence that Bruder was thrown onto the roof. Did it happen because the power of this monster went crazy? Or did it not think about anything reasonable at all? If Bruder had been thrown out of the roof, she would be dead by now. In the darkness, her lifeless body would just rot with her broken bones and spilled blood.

“I’m lucky to be alive. But, I’ve already threw my stubbornness away. I’m just scared now. I’m scared of that thing.”

The support that was hiding in Bruder’s chest shattered with a single swing. Like the melted and burnt needles, the determination in her chest was fragile and crumbled.

Originally, a girl named Bruder was an ordinary person. Even in the past, she threw everything away, only hoping to die, and finally, at the hands of her own sister, she decayed into the soil of Belfein.

For a human like her, happiness meant living as a rural village girl. It meant walking a path where neither sandstorms nor snowstorms could occur. All it required was surviving while enduring a little pain. She was just a mediocre person. She could have lived without holding weapons; she was a girl after all. However, she ignored her fate and threw a tantrum.

It had now gone beyond the days of talking about mercenaries and pretending to be someone else. She finally came to such a place and realized her foolishness.

Bruder was not strong like Caria, she did not have faith like Matia, and she did not have a strong ego like Lugis. She came here with absolutely nothing.

Bruder’s body slowly decayed while shedding blood. She heard something well, probably because she was lying down on the ground. It was footsteps, which gradually moved away from her body. Perhaps, Roseau thought she was dead. Or did he feel there was no point in dirtying his hands anymore?

Bruder thought through her small breaths while lying down.

“I just have to lie down on the ground as it is. Then, the enemy will disappear, and maybe my physical strength will be restored a little. Besides, all I have to do is prevent from dying right now. Then, I will make it alive. I have to avoid contact with that scary existence.”

“I want to run away soon. It was a mistake to confront it in the first place. That’s right, it must be it. This is quite crazy…yes, crazy and irrational. Wait; is this how I’m supposed to act?”

Bruder clenched her trembling left fist and opened her mouth. Her brown eyes were open.

「You failed, bastard…! 」

She screamed out loud.

Perhaps, it was because she opened her throat forcibly, the blood that had accumulated in Bruder’s mouth flowed back, and she coughed involuntarily. Still, she continued to inhale and exhale the air with small but deep breaths. She didn’t know if she truly screamed or not. However, it seemed that she was unsuitable to be an assassin.

With the thought of tearing off the flesh of the whole body, she changed her posture on the red bricks and slammed her feet against the roof. Was this what it meant for the meat to be ripped apart? The bent bones in her body screamed frenetically, and those inner screams transformed into severe pain as they attacked her body.

“Don’t move, because my body is speaking that a light move can be fatal.”

Bruder shook her teeth and sighed, even with something close to tears stuck in her eyes. “I know, my body is at its limit, and it’s stupid to go against that monster. I’m still so scared of it. No matter how much my body heats up, it’s an undeniable fact.”

“However, I don’t want to die in such a place while crawling like a losing dog.” Blood dripped from her skull, and her heart conveyed burning heat.

Bruder’s spirit was by no means strong. It easily crushed and easily melted down. She could give up everything easily. However, no matter how much her spirit collapsed, it would forcibly overlap immediately and struggle to take some form again.

At the end of the day, she was someone unscrupulous and incomprehensible.

“A defeat is not a real defeat. No matter what kind of mischief I’m exposed to, whether I lie down on the ground or something trample on my face, it is not a defeat unless I admit it.”

Because of such distorted spirituality, her father was killed in shame, her mother and sister were robbed by violence, but she did not choose to kill herself. She wanted to die, but did not choose to escape. She had no idea what was going on in her heart.

“…No matter how helpless or ungodly I am, I haven’t lost yet.”

Bruder rang her teeth as she stood up while dragging her broken right arm. She painted the red bricks in black with her dark-red blood. Roseau stopped moving his legs and looked at Bruder fixedly.

「It was a very good demonstration of your power, demon…I…No, actually, you don’t have the guts to kill me, right?」

“I laughed, trying to pull my painful cheeks. Even though I laughed, it was still a subtle move. I have to be careful when moving my body. Still, I haven’t lost yet, so I need to smile.”

“My vision is blurred. I don’t even know how Roseau stares at me anymore.” The moment Bruder spit out a clot of blood that was clogged in her throat.

*sound of cutting through the wind*

Bruder heard something heavy tearing the wind. Almost at the same time, the hot air that was enveloped in the atmosphere exploded. Roseau’s footsteps, which had been echoing from earlier, stopped.

What happened? Bruder could no longer tell what was going on. She didn’t even feel like trying to understand the situation. Her strength naturally fell out of her body.

“But I thought it was good. I knew whose voice struck my ears.”

「Hey, Bruder, it’s been a long time since I saw a friend in a coffin. Please stop it. 」

“Ah, I knew it. He is the only one who talks about me as a friend.”