Aimless Ascension

"Are you trying to find ways to cultivate vital energy?"

"Um, no?"

Both of them gave me an incredulous look at my terrible lie. Even A'caen, who couldn't understand English, chuckled softly.

"You know this isn't possible, right?" Imani asked with concern. "Do you think none of us have tried? Yes, I felt the energy coursed through my being in the six years I was here, but I never managed to do anything about it. The slave collar won't let you. It will torment you until you decide to give up on it or lose your sanity."

I frowned, considering her words. I chose the next words very carefully. Thankfully, I didn't have to say anything to her, as A'caen decided to open his mouth at that right moment.

I didn't know what he said, but it caused Imani to frown. She heaved a breath and questioned me. "How did you meditate?"

I took a deep breath, spouting out everything truthfully. "I sit cross-legged and practise heavy breathing," I said. "Inhale with nose and exhale with the mouse. I keep at it until I can't do it anymore. I know we weren't supposed to think about stuff and empty our minds, but most of the time, I found myself pulled into an array of hopeless thoughts."

Imani translated it to A'caen. She then translated back what A'caen replied: "That's what you're doing wrong. Meditation is about focusing on one thing. If you can't empty your mind of those hopeless thoughts, oblige them and try to resolve them as much as you can. Try to focus on your breathing. Do one thing at a time and focus on that. Also, you have to do it regularly, keep at it for a prolonged period and you'll feel it.

"But I must warn you, you won't like what that would bring."

It felt like Imani added the last part on her own. But I thanked both of them, nonetheless. They seemed completely sure I would find it. Well, Imani did, not sure how long it took her.

"In case you're wondering," Imani said on her own. "My physicality hadn't changed just because I could feel vital energy. There are other things in play which aren't possible for most people, that include you as well."

That seemed a bit too suspicious.

I frowned, unsure of what she just mentioned. I was about to challenge her statement, but with one look on her face, I knew it wasn't my place to question her. Not about that, at least.

"Anyway, that left us to discuss with only one more thing," Imani said and turned to A'caen, who nodded to her. "A'caen here believes the mark in your hand to be an incomplete fate mark. Also, he believes it would have been a complete fate mark under normal circumstances. However, with the collar restricting vital energy to coalesce into your body, it remained as the thin spiral line."

Imani paused and examined my expression, trying to read my reaction. She turned to give A'caen a look.

"Jah ho," A'caen told her.

"However, we can complete the fate mark by feeding more vital energy," Imani said slowly. "It might give you some magical power."

I remained silent for several seconds as the two people continued to stare at me. So they plan to use the elderly doctor to feed the mark with his vital energy.

"Okay, I have two questions," I said. Getting their approval, I asked, "First, do you need my consent to feed the mark with vital energy?"

"No," Imani said. She didn't need A'caen's words to answer my question. "We can do it without your permission, but we won't do it, no matter what A'caen believes."

I sighed in relief inwardly.

"Second question," I said, "you mentioned that the slave collar on any struggle would be rendered to nothing. Fate locks or fate marks, nothing would matter. Then what's the point of completing the fate mark?"

This time, Imani had to turn to A'caen for the answer. She discussed about it to the burned man, but he got no sure answer for it either.

At last, Imani sighed.

"There's only one thing still left for us to cling onto," she said. "Hope."

"Hope," I repeated as Imani bit her lips.

I stared at them for an unknown amount of time as things became clearer in my mind.

There was no overarching plan.

They were not planning anything behind my back. There was no overarching plan they were working to free themselves from slavery.

The only thing they left to cling onto was hope.

Hope.

Hope. I sucked in a deep breath. They were hoping some miracle would happen, even though their mind was telling them it was literally impossible.

Hope. I surely hated the sound of that.

"Fine, let's do it," I said.

Imani didn't lunge in delight as you'd hope for, because she knew there was a slim chance of anything coming out of this endeavour. Besides, she had always been the most pragmatic one of us.

"Are you sure about that?" Imani asked, just to be sure.

"Yeah," I said casually, "what worse could it do other than kill your hope?"

"It could kill you," Imani reminded. "Although A'caen is credible in most of his things, he tends to be wrong. And when he's wrong, the results are always terrible."

I rephrased my line. "What else could it do other than kill me?"

Imani inspected my face for "You're mad."

"Better than living with no hope, I guess," I said.

Anyway, I considered myself quite sane, more than one of my neighbours to be sure.

"Anyway, should we start now?" I asked.

Imani turned to A'caen for confirmation. After getting that, she scurried to the door. "I'll call the others."

A couple of minutes later, everyone was in position. I was in the middle with Uncle Phillips, while the others circling us. Other than A'caen, everyone was standing with a contemplative look on their faces.

"Okay, the anticipation is killing me," I said, breaking the silence. "Let's finish this quickly. I have to sleep."

"Gale, are you sure?" Elea opened her mouth for the first time, evident worry in her tone.

"No, but what does that matter?" I said, "Do it now before I change my mind."

Imani gestured to the doctor to proceed with feeding my left palm with his vital energy. The elderly doctor was ready to do it when A'caen cut in.

Everyone's attention transferred from my hand to the wounded man, though most of them couldn't understand much of what he said.

Imani frowned slightly as she heard him. Nevertheless, she directed his words to the doctor. "He wants you to pour energy through his meridians first, rather than continuing the process."

Uncle Phillips furrowed his brows. "What would that accomplish?"

It wasn't just the doctor who was interested in the answer.

Imani answered on her own. "It will help Gale in getting the enlightenment he needs to differentiate spirit energy from the environment."

My eyes widened as I heard her. Didn't she? Wasn't she just solving my issue with meditation?

"Basically, it was a cheat to get kids started with cycling energy when they weren't ready," Imani told me. "There aren't any side effects to this, so you can just enjoy the sensation."

"Thank you," I told her, and then repeated it to the doctor and A'caen.

"Close your eyes," Imani reminded me as the doctor clutched my palm. "Focus on the tendrils of energy he's pushing into your system. Focus only on that, and forget about everything else."

I did. It was totally easy to feel the energy rushing into my system. Even though it was barely a little, I could feel the warmth it provided drifting slowly. I could easily have got lost in it.

And that's what I did. It felt like swimming in the clouds, as in my mind's eye I could see something like bits of black mist drifting slowly.

I have been trying this for over a couple of weeks, never even managing to calm myself completely, yet here I was. . .

I don't know how long I stayed like that, or how I got pulled back, but when I got back to reality, I found the doctor in a cold sweat, not just from the heat. It seemed using vital energy was quite taxing to the human body.

Anyway, I got what I needed, though I wasn't sure if I would be able to find this vibe again.

"When you're lost in a meditative state, Uncle Phillips fed the mark with his energy," Imani told me.

I raised an eyebrow and eyed the mark in my palm. It certainly hadn't changed much, even after the man fed it all his energy.

"It would take a few more days to even see a little change," Imani told him. "And in that time, you probably will be used to the meditative state. But I must remind you again, don't try to cycle the energy, not when you're not prepared for it."

I didn't understand half the word she said in the latter part, but I nodded, feeling good about myself. There was something about that meditative state. I felt energised somehow. Obviously, it won't remain for much longer. I could already feel it drifting away.

"We'll do it every second day as Uncle Phillip needs time to recover his energy as well."

I nodded like a woodpecker, totally agreeing with her.

***

Later that night, I dreamed of the wingless angel again. Like the other time, she came to my room, though this time she didn't leave like the other time.

Instead, she woke me up.

"Perhaps it was all a mistake," her voice drifted softly to my ears, "but I can't just pull back after giving someone hope."

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Cliffhanger. Muhahahaha!