Allrounders!!-Novel

Things were very lively inside the dungeon. Thanks to Sayla.

“Eeeeeeekk!!!”

She screamed when skeletons appeared.

“Noooooooo!!!”

She screamed when ghouls appeared.

All the while clinging to my arm while pressing her hard, washboard-like chest against it.

I could have also used magic from a distance, but I deliberately went into close combat with my wooden sword to have some fun. Sayla frantically trying to hide behind me as a shield while being scared was fun.

“…Lookin’ at you from behind, it makes one wonder, 『Just what the hell are these people doin’ after coming into a dungeon?』, you know?”

I’m sure for outsiders it must look like we’re flirting.

“I’m getting my fill of enjoyment.”

When I agreed in satisfaction, I was told by Sword, “You really deserve divine punishment.”

Still, this place is full of slow-moving monsters. If a quickly-moving monster appeared around here, it’d take the thrill to a new level.

…Just when I thought so, something suddenly showed up.

“It’s a wraith. Physical attacks don’t work ‘gainst that thing.” Sword explained.

“I want to test out various things first. What’s going to happen if you get hit by its attack?”

“You won’t die instantly. Gettin’ possessed by it would make things annoyin’ though… It’s usin’ mental attacks. In the worst case, I’ll handle it one way or ‘nother.”

That’s a load of my mind then.

“But even before that, the woman clingin’ to you should be able to handle it, however.” He commented while pointing at Sayla who was stuck to my arm while trembling.

“No need. She’s here as a mascot to spice up things.”

If she’s this scared for me, it also makes this dare super exciting for me.

“I’ve already thought that your quite the terrible person, but considerin’ all her condescendin’, cocksure talk, that woman is just as bad as you.” He said apathetically.

“Now, now, don’t be so jealous, Sword.”

“Do you actually know the meanin’ of the word?” I was asked in return.

Now then, a wraith, huh? They’re standard attractions for any haunted house, but to be honest, I’m not really that interested. After all, they’re completely soundless.

“Ryoku, does that thing show up in your detection?”

“There is a response with infrared rays. Its temperature is low.”

Hmm. That part follows the usual setting.

Then…

“Eeeeeeekk!! It’s a wraith! A wraith is heading this way! Noooooooo!”

Yep, yep, it’s totally heading this way.

“Sa…”

“Noooooooooooo!”

I waited until the very last moment, just when things got so exciting that Sword would step in at any moment.

“Haaah!” I tried cutting the wraith.

And it got cut.

Sayla was crying like a baby.

“Okay, I could slice it apart.”

Hmm?

Sword approached me with big steps….and grabbed me with an iron claw.

“Gyaaaa!”

“Hey, there’s limits to how far you take things! That just now was really dangerous!”

“It wasn’t!”

Rather, your iron claw is much more dangerous!

“Now listen…!”

“That’s why I’ve been telling you to trust me a bit more and enjoy yourself! This is an adventure!”

I got him to release his hand. But there’s still some stinging pain left.

“You’re such a worrywart. We weren’t in such a big danger that you’d need to kick up such a fuss. The time when you suddenly disappeared was a lot more dangerous.”

Since I honestly didn’t understand the principle behind Ms. Bloody’s magic, it seemed really dangerous to me. It looked like teleportation magic, but if that spell went haywire, a human would be scattered into pieces. Or become a flyman.

“…Gotcha. Sorry for gettin’ in the way of your fun.”

“I keep telling you to enjoy yourself as well. Look.” I pointed at Sayla.

“Eeek, a wraiiith…!”

She had completely broken down.

“Isn’t that girl a prime example of a failed priestess? A dungeon full of undead would usually be the perfect spot for a priestess to show her stuff.” Sword mumbled while rolling his eyes.

＊

Now it’s time for our grand adventure to start. Just when I was about to think that, we arrived at the boss room.

“Eeehhh……”

“Don’t sound so disappointed.”

My temples got ground once again.

“P-Protect m-m-me p-properly, got it?” Sayla demanded with her teeth clattering.

“There’s no way I’d do that, is there? The only ones I protect are Sword and the Ryokus. Rather, go in front and become a meat shield.”

I kicked her bum with a verve.

“T-T-That is p-preposterous a-a-after you b-brought m-m-me all t-the way h-he-here!! T-Take responsibility!”

“As if I’d care. I’ve got the principle of not getting involved and commenting on how others lead their lives. If you believe in a god, cling to them to save you.”

Sword apparently didn’t give a damn about her anymore either, “Let’s go then.”

Ignoring Sayla’s disgraceful behavior and my trash talking her, he urged us on without a care and opened the door to the boss room.

＊

The heavy door opened with a loud creaking and squeaking, totally befitting a haunted house. It’d be super thrilling if something were to jump us the moment the door swung open.

And, the instant we stepped into the room, a zombie dog leaped at us.

“Eeek!” Sayla fell on her butt, and peed herself while at it.

“Ah, now that it’s reached this point, I guess it’s gone a bit too far.” I scratched my head after cutting down the dog.

“Rather, you bein’ able to deal with it calmly is scary as fuck. Even I got the jitters when I experienced it for the first time.”

I mean, it’s such a stereotyped event.

“I have absolutely no issues with such attractions. But you see, attractions like this get super boring the instant none of the participants gets excited over them, right? Even the Dungeon Core wouldn’t be very amused if I kept slaying all it throws at me indifferently, coldly and looking totally bored, don’t you think? Not getting startled in a dungeon packed with things intended to surprise you would be a depressing blow for the Dungeon Core, wouldn’t it?”

“Yeah, whatever. Let’s finish off the boss.”

The boss was a lich. Meaning, it was capable of communication.

“Hello.”

“…”

“Are you the type incapable of conversation?”

“…I am, lich.”

“My name, Indra. Mr. Lich, have you ever been allowed to talk with Sir Dungeon Core?”

“…That information is confidential.”

I see, too bad. But, confidential basically means a confirmation, doesn’t it?

“Mr. Lich, do you have an ego?”

“…That information is also confidential.”

“If I kill you here, will you be the same Mr. Lich that gets revived here?”

“……Affirmative.”

Alright.

“Okay, then please excuse me, but I need you to die for me.”

“Wait. I’m also, interested in you.”

Hoh.

Sword looked back and forth between me with surprise coloring his face.

“Why did you, try to talk with me?”

“Because I was curious.”

“Curious about what?”

“I consider dungeons to be attractions that have been created by Dungeon Cores. However, the monsters appearing in there aren’t golems, like the Ryokus which I built, but seem to be real monsters. But, if you defeat a monster in a dungeon, it turns into particles and vanishes. This makes it hard to consider the monsters in dungeons as genuine. Thus I wanted to know whether the monsters, which have likely been created by Sir Dungeon Core, possess an ego. I’ve been hoping that my creations, the Ryokus, would also obtain something similar to a fake soul, which you could call an ego, some day. If the monsters created by Sir Dungeon Core are similar to ghosts, it might be possible for a self to dwell in the Ryokus one day…”

My words towards the end faded out as they became more and more quiet. The lich, however, burst into laughter.

“…You are really extremely interesting. I’d love to keep talking with you for as long as possible, but I’m bound to this place here in order to defeat any visitors coming here. With this, our conversation is over.”

“Is that so? Okay, then here I come.”

I drew my wooden sword, closed the distance in an instant, and slew the lich. It turned into particles and vanished. Right afterwards, a treasure chest appeared with a plop.

“Oh, a treasure chest!”

“…Killin’ the lich instantly and frolickin’ so much ’bout its treasure chest, despite havin’ talked so happily with the lich moments ago…you’re really unbelievable.” Sword commented with a stunned look.

“If I want to meet the lich again, I just need to come here once more, right? Anyway, I’m going to open the chest.”

…Hmm?

Once I opened it, I found an accessory within.

“You won’t know what it is as long as you don’t get it appraised. If your unlucky, it could even be a cursed item. Sellin’ it off would be the fastest way to deal with it.”

“Then we’ll do just that, I suppose.”

I wrapped it up in a sheet of leather and tossed it into my bag.

＊

Now then, all that’s left is to head back, but what should we do about the girl who peed herself?

“……No choice. I’ll have you change into my spare clothes. I’ll put up the toilet’s enclosure sheets, so get in there, wipe your body off with a towel, and put in the fresh clothes.”

Sayla went over to get changed while sobbing with hiccups. It took her a bit, but then she came out in new attire. I laundered the clothes she wore and everything else.

“Whaaa!? W-Wait! J-Just what is that!?”

“I’m laundering. It’s nice cause it’s easy, right? We’ll head towards the exit while your clothes dry.”

I washed them lightly, dehydrated, and then dried them out. Sayla watched it all dumbfounded.

“…Hey, isn’t this quite the high-ranking magic?”

“No clue. It looks like Sword can’t use it, but I can’t use some of Sword’s spells either.”

Sword shrugged his shoulders.

“…Also, this…what I’m wearing right now…the underwear. It’s for women, right?”

“Obviously.”

“…Why do you have women’s underwear on you!?”

“I told you that these are my spare clothes, didn’t I!?”

“You’re wearing women’s underwear!?!?!”

“Obviously!!”

Sword had a blast as he was guffawing.

“Pervert!”

“Actually I’d be a pervert if I wore men’s clothes!”

“Wearing women’s clothes makes you a pervert!!”

Why the hell!? What, is it a fixed rule that all the underwear of priests is men’s wear without any differentiation between the sexes?

＊

Since the way back became a boring chore, I used the full array of my magic together with Sword.

I’m not the type of woman thinking that an outing is only over after you’ve come back home.

I could eliminate the undead with my light magic, ultraviolet rays. I guess it has a sterilizing effect. But figures, I mean ultraviolet rays are pretty harmful, aren’t they?

“What is that magic you’re usin’?”

“Light magic.”

“Don’t lie!”

I earned myself a retort by Sword since my spell wasn’t shining.

“…Just a moment there! You could use light magic, and yet you defeated the monsters in close combat earlier!? Why!?!” Sayla shouted at me.

“I just wanted to enjoy watching you getting scared. Why are you asking something so obvious?”

When I answered her like that, she started to violently tremble, and got totally mad.

“You idiooot! You’re truly a brute! I hope you receive divine punishment!”

I shook my head with a smile, “I told Sword as well, but gods aren’t human. Thus they won’t scold humans over every little, trivial occurrence.”

Hearing that, she totally snapped. And at long last since coming here, Sword finally laughed out loud at Sayla’s reaction.

“Rather, I told you to defeat them, but well, it was fun, so whatever.”