Beware Of Chicken-Novel

Sheng Yanjing, the Auditor General of the Azure Hills, had his head in his hands as he prepared himself for the sure-to-be-trying day ahead. It had been a week and he was nearly at the end of his rope.

Trying… that was all his days had been ever since he first got told to investigate the Dueling Peaks. The Wu Clan had wanted to know what exactly the ‘incident’ a year ago had been, and they hadn’t believed the official story about a drunken cultivator brawl. Even asking the Plum Blossom’s Shadow and getting the sanswer hadn’t assuaged the nobles, so they had sent him.

Yanjing was to punish Bai Huizhong. First with as much bureaucratic interference as he could muster. Secondly, to find out as much of Huizhong’s operation as he could until the man capitulated and spilled whatever secret he was hiding. The nobles of Pale Moon Lake City also planned to find enough blackmail to financially ruin the Lord Director or have him stripped from his post if he did not comply with their demands.

It had actually been rather fun to annoy the Lord Director of Spiritual Ascension Affairs. The man obviously liked to be on the move with his multiple businesses and constant rota of visitors. Forcing the man to sit with him and go over his books line by line had been hell for the Lord Director. Yanjing had taken great delight in seeing the annoyance double whenever he found a discrepancy and forced the Director to explain each and every one with excruciating detail.

Really, it had almost been a gof Huizhong trying to hide things while Yanjing sniffed them out. Huizhong’s books were well-cooked, and though the Auditor had his job through connections with the Wu Clan, sussing out discrepancies had been the reason he had attracted their attention in the first place.

So he had slowly ground Huizhong down, trying to find the pattern and get to the real meat—but right when he was on the edge of a breakthrough that would make Huizhong squeal, the Cultivators had told him to leave.

It had been Yanjing’s first tever really feeling Qi, and it had nearly made him piss himself. Cultivators had always just been stories to him. Now he knew why there were so many tales. They had made the world tremble in their passing.

Yanjing wasn’t stupid enough to stay after being told point blank to leave. He had to content himself with the more minor items and forward them to his masters. They had not been very happy with him, screaming his ear off over a private transmission, which was annoying as Hells.

He would have liked to see any of those noble lords or ladies shrug off the attention of the Patriarch of the Grand Ravine Sect… but insulting the Wu Clan would do unfortunate things to him. So instead, he chose the other route, a task given to him by Lady Wu. A town in the north had been reporting increased tax revenues, so it was on the docket to be examined. But his patrons had intervened and wished for Yanjing to be the one to examine their records.

Yanjing sighed heavily as the appointed hour was upon him. He organized his notes one last tand prepared for the heavy knock on the door. Yanjing had taken over the man’s own office as he liked to do. It unsettled everybody else he had done it to.

A knock on the door echoed out. “Auditor General, are you ready for today?” a calm, pleasant voice rang out, like the headman telling a prisoner it was tfor his execution.

Yanjing calmed himself as best he could. “Yes, do ci—”

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The First Archivist had feigned stupidity and pretended he didn’t know what the careful probing questions were about, and in the sconversation smoothly tried to get the Auditor General to admit that he was trying to bribe him.

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Yanjing hated the smart ones who were against him.

The pages thumped onto the table and the Lord Magistrate took his seat.

“Are you ready to begin? I do believe we’re on my second year managing Verdant Hill. Page five.” The Lord Magistrate settled in like a child settled in for their favourite story.

“Oh, yes, the previous administration had struck the village from the maps, for sfoolish reason, but during my tour I rediscovered them. The road practically didn’t exist anymore! I entered the village and spoke with their headman. There we had a fruitful discussion…” He was smiling wistfully as he spoke.

It pissed Yanjing off.

“Then what about here! A forty percent death rate in a village? Please do explain these numbers, Lord Magistrate. Forty percent is unacceptable!” Yanjing tried next.

Yanjing smiled blandly back at them both while internally cursing at them.

And so it went.

Yanjing got more and more annoyed as the hour progressed—and his eye began twitching when he found the most obvious and blatant piece of funds misuse, a crate of expensive wine.

He was furious by the end of the meeting—until he got an idea. These two were working in tandem to hide everything. If the books were useless to him, the common man was sure to have their grievances.

“Well, there are sthings I cannot just take your word for, Lord Magistrate. I’ll be taking stto conduct sinterviews… without your presence, of course, so the peasants don’t feel pressured to lie. This is no issue, yes?”

The Lord Magistrate froze, his eyes widening, and Yanjing knew he had one over on the bastard.

“I see. Of course, that is your prerogative,” the man replied, his features dropping their smile.

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The next day, just after noon, Yanjing walked back into his room, opened up a wine bottle, and began drinking.

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“The Lord Magistrate?” the man asked. He was certainly a big one, with blotchy freckles all over his cheeks and that stupid, guileless smile of a peasant. He had a short, equally freckled woman beside him, probably his wife, and the shrew had the audacity to frown at him! “Oh, the Lord Magistrate is great!”

Yanjing felt any hope leave his soul.

What the Hells was this? What the eight burning hells and eight freezing hells was this?!

Yanjing ignored the rest of the peasant’s fulsexaltation of the Lord Magistrate. He could feel his soul starting to leave his body.

Why? Was it Heaven’s punishment for accepting the Wu Clan’s money? Was it karma for overly desiring this position?

“Uh, you alright, sir?” the peasant asked, and Yanjing jolted.

“Yes. Yes, that is all. Go about your business,” Yanjing commanded the peasant.

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He walked off, slightly unsteady, and headed back to his room.

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“So! I think I met the Auditor,” Jin said as he took tea with the Lord Magistrate. “I was going to see if you needed a hand, Shifu, but I don't think you need it.”

The Lord Magistrate of Verdant Hill smiled into his mug. His table was full today, with Jin, Lu Ri, Meiling, as well as Cai Xiulan and Tigu in attendance today.

“It is a teacher’s shto have his student fight his battles,” he declared.

Really, asking for a cultivator to intervene would be embarrassing when he had so much support already. Especially when he was having so much fun—it was great to be able to recount his past accomplishments in front of fresh eyes, and watch as the Auditor General bore a look of grudging respect on his face!

And it would be no good to end the man’s suffering so soon if Jin or Lu Ri got involved. He was sent by those who wished his wife harm. There was a pound of flesh he required in payment for that.

If the Wu Clan had done this a few years earlier, it likely would have posed a bit of a problem. He would not have had the support of the Azure Jade Trading Company, and there was a good chance that he might have been stripped of his rank… but the more likely outcwas a fine that would beggar him. They probably would have left it at that.

He let out a breath. He had nothing he could do to them at present, so all he could do was bide his tand think.

That and listen to Rou Tigu and Cai Xiulan regale them with what exactly had gone down in Grass Sea City. His messenger, Ming Jie, had reached Pale Moon Lake City. The man had sent back about how the equipment he was using was holding up, to Lu Ri’s pleasure—and discovered his son was most certainly not in the city.

Their son was not at school like his letters said. He was, in fact, getting into all sorts of dangerous things.

He sighed as Tigu began her enthusiastic retelling and held his wife’s hand as her eyebrow twitched.

All he wanted was a nice, normal life. Had that been too much to ask?