Cultivation Chat Group (Web Novel)

Chapter 859: What do you think of the name ‘Venerable Nuclear Explosion’?

Translator: GodBrandy Editor: Kurisu

The chat logs of the Nine Provinces Number One Group were like a treasure trove.

In the future, after Song Shuhang had advanced to the Fifth Stage, all these experiences that the seniors of the group were now sharing would become valuable treasures for him.

After reading all the new messages in the Nine Provinces Number One Group, Song Shuhang started with the replies. ” @Venerable White, Senior White, something unexpected happened while we were on our way to the Jiangnan area… Therefore, we haven’t reached our destination yet, and are still on the road. I think we’ll be able to get there only tomorrow at noon. @Wandering Monk Profound Principle, Great Master Profound Principle, were you looking for me?”

Venerable White happened to be online, and quickly replied to Song Shuhang’s message. “You’ll arrive only tomorrow at noon? Such being the case, I’ll go borrow a furnace and forge something interesting in the meantime.”

“You are going to forge something interesting? Senior White, what are you forging?” Song Shuhang asked out of curiosity.

“I’ll tell you after I’ve finished it; it’s better to keep it a secret for now. Anyway, I won’t wait for you in the Jiangnan area in that case. I’ll look for you again after I’m finished forging this treasure,” Venerable White said.

Song Shuhang replied, “Sure, no problem.”

“In that case, see you later… Right, another thing, little friend Shuhang. Do you know that this instant messaging program we use has some VIP features?” Venerable White suddenly said.

Senior White’s train of thought was too jumpy, and one just couldn’t follow it!

“I know. Beyond that, this instant messaging program is quite the money sucker. There are several types of VIP features, and they all cost money. I, who was nothing but a poor student not too long ago, could only afford two or three of those VIP features,” Song Shuhang said.

Venerable White said, “After creating this account, I activate all the VIP features available. ?”

Song Shuhang replied, “Ahaha, I see. ?”

From the looks of it, Venerable White was really bored at this moment… he had unexpectedly started to show off his VIP features in front of Shuhang.

Venerable White continued, “Anyway, I discovered that there was this very interesting feature in the VIP package… the [Group Message Browsing] feature. Something unexpected happened yesterday when I was deleting files and freeing up the memory of the phone… At that time, I was a little careless and ended up deleting all the chat logs of the group. As such, I used this [Group Message Browsing] feature to look at the chat logs of the last few days… and guess what I discovered? I discovered some very interesting messages that were sent while we were in the ‘Jade Lake Realm’, and several of those messages were missing from the chat logs in my phone.”

Song Shuhang: ???

F*ck, is this even real? This is too exaggerated!

“Senior White, if I were to tell you that it was a tragic accident, would you believe me?” Song Shuhang quickly replied.

Venerable White said, “Hmm, so it was an accident? Alright… I won’t haggle over this matter with you.”

Recently, Venerable White was very open to persuasion! He gave the strong vibe of a gentle senior, very magnanimous.

“Senior White, thank you for your understanding!” Song Shuhang was moved to the point of having tears streaming down his face.

“It’s nothing, don’t even mention it. Anyway, we’ll meet at the appointed time… Right, it might take me some time to forge this treasure. But even in the worst case, I’ll be back before the great battle between Copper Trigram and Northern River starts,” Venerable White added.

After saying this much, Venerable White went offline.

Song Shuhang patted his chest; he had yet again dodged another calamity.

❄️❄️❄️

But right at this time, Great Master Profound Principle got online.

Wandering Monk Profound Principle: ” @Tyrannical Saber Song One, Junior Brother Shuhang, are you still online? I’m Senior Brother Three Realms. The new phone I just bought exploded. Therefore, I had no choice but to borrow the phone of the abbot to get online and contact you. Ugh~ When I first saw it, I found the design of that phone very pretty, and decided to buy it and magically modify it later. However, I didn’t even get to enjoy it that it suddenly exploded. Later, I won’t be buying any other product from that company, they simply have no regard for human life! If one had carried that gadget on a plane, the whole airplane would have exploded!”

Song Shuhang: “…”

Wandering Monk Profound Principle: “Anyway, I just took a look at the chat logs. At first, I was also supposed to reach the Jiangnan area today and bring the three disobedient children back with me… but before I could even get there, an urgent matter came up on my side, which forced me to head back. As such, I’ll have to trouble you to look after Guoguo and the others for some more time. I’ll bring them back in two or three days at most.”

Song Shuhang replied, “No problem, Senior Brother Three Realms.”

“If the three disobedient children don’t listen to you, feel free to spank them as much as you want—no need to be polite with them. Disobedient children must be taught how to behave. In addition, they have thick skin, they won’t die even if you hit them,” Wandering Monk Profound Principle continued.

Song Shuhang said, “I’ll do my best… actually, Guoguo and the others have been very obedient so far.”

“You are too soft on these disobedient children. After returning to the temple, Guoguo kept repeating how much he wanted to go to your place again and have fun. Haha. ?” Wandering Monk Profound Principle smiled. “Anyway, it’s settled then. We’ll meet in two or three days, and I’ll also bring you an interesting thing. Bye-bye~”

Song Shuhang bid him farewell. “Bye-bye.”

After Senior Brother Three Realms went offline, Medicine Master slowly showed his head and said via voice message, “Damn, when I saw Great Master Profound Principle writing, I thought the world was about to come to an end.”

Young Master Phoenix Slayer: “I also got a scare. I thought Great Master Profound Principle was going to break his rule of silence.”

Sun Splitting Halberd Guo Da: “[Picture of a cute puppy].”

Thrice Reckless Mad Saber: “[Picture of the head of a dog being furiously rubbed].”

Thrice Reckless Mad Saber: “Wahaha! I hadn’t seen Fellow Daoist Guo Da’s dog head combo in a while. If I didn’t break it, I would be putting my name to shame!”

Young Master Phoenix Slayer: “[Picture of the head of a dog being furiously rubbed].”

Medicine Master: “[Picture of the head of a dog being furiously rubbed].”

Young Master Phoenix Slayer: “Fellow Daoist Medicine Master, I was rubbing Thrice Reckless. Why did you rub me?”

Medicine Master: “My Internet connection is slow~ I’m still on my honeymoon with Purple Mist, and we are currently in a rather remote area where the signal is rather bad. In addition, my mobile phone is somewhat old. I should consider getting a new one and look for a fellow daoist to help me modify it.”

Young Master Phoenix Slayer: “…” Fellow Daoist Medicine Master, publicly showing your affection is a very quick way to die, do you know that?

Song Shuhang said, “Senior Medicine Master, don’t buy phones from the same company as Senior Brother Three Realms. They’ll explode.”

Medicine Master: “Which company did Three Realms buy his phone from?”

Song Shuhang said, “Well… it seems Senior Brother didn’t say which one… We can ask him later, I guess.”

Medicine Master: “In that case, let’s put off this matter until later. PS: Given the typing speed, you should have realized that it was me, Riverly Purple Mist!”

They were publicly showing their affection in all kinds of different ways!

Sun Splitting Halberd Guo Da: “Thrice Reckless, you are an idiot. The picture of the cute puppy I sent just now was a picture of puppy Doudou, and I had no intention of rubbing his head. In addition, Doudou is soon going to marry a man, and the level of his anger should be maxed out by now. @I’m Mr. Yellow Mountain’s loyal dog, no need to thank me, I’m always happy to help others.”

Thrice Reckless Mad Saber: “…”

I’m Mr. Yellow Mountain’s loyal dog: “I’m very sad right now. My in-game wife hasn’t gotten online for the whole day. Don’t bother me.”

Sun Splitting Halberd Guo Da: “…”

Just as they were discussing, Scholar Xian Gong also got online. After getting online, he immediately summoned Song Shuhang. ” @Tyrannical Saber Song One, little friend Song Shuhang, are you online?”

Song Shuhang said, “I’m online… Senior Xian Gong, have you finished absorbing the strength of the demodragon medicine?”

“Yes, I’ve finished. Now, I only need to look for a good place where I can close up in order to advance to the Seventh Stage Venerable Realm. As such, you have to give me your coordinates before that happens so that I can deliver you something via flying sword,” Scholar Xian Gong said with a smile. The hidden danger that had accompanied him for so many years had been finally taken care of. Therefore, his mood was pretty good.

Song Shuhang’s eyes immediately lit up. “Is it that thing?”

“It’s precisely that thing!” Scholar Xian Gong said with a smile.

Previously, after receiving the corpse of the demodragon from Venerable White, Scholar Xian Gong and Song Shuhang secretly decided to forge a treasure called ‘Dragon Tail Mirage’ to thank Venerable White for his help.

If that magical treasure was mounted on a flying sword, it would increase its maximum speed a little, allowing it to break through its limits. Someone like Venerable White, who loved racing, was definitely going to like it.

At this time, Scholar Xian Gong had apparently already finished forging the treasure.

As for Song Shuhang, this treasure really came at the right time!

Although Venerable White said that he didn’t care about what happened in the Jade Lake Realm, it would be still better if he could make him happy by gifting him this ‘Dragon Tail Mirage’ magical treasure. That way, it was going to be even more unlikely that Venerable White would haggle over that matter related to the pictures they took in the Jade Lake Realm leaking out!

It was definitely a powerful tool that could help him improve Senior White’s mood.

“Senior Xian Gong, I’ll arrive in the Jiangnan area tomorrow, and I’ll send you my coordinates at that time, allowing you to send the item over with a flying sword,” Song Shuhang quickly replied.

Scholar Xian Gong said, “Sure, no problem. I’ll seize this opportunity to make the last preparations before closing up and getting ready to advance to the next realm.”

Song Shuhang said, “Good luck, Senior. I wish you to advance successfully.”

Young Master Phoenix Slayer: “Good luck, Senior. I wish you to advance successfully. At that time, we would have to call you Venerable Xian Gong.”

Soon after, all the fellow daoists of the Nine Provinces Number One Group that were online gave Senior Xian Gong their blessings.

But right at this time, Thrice Reckless Mad Saber also popped out and wrote something. “I heard people saying that one can change their daoist name into a more awe-inspiring one after advancing to the Venerable Realm…”

Before Thrice Reckless could write the second part of his sentence, the always online holy warrior of the Nine Provinces Number One Group, who hadn’t gotten online in a long while, suddenly appeared and wrote something as well.

Northern River’s Loose Cultivator: “Fellow Daoist Thrice Reckless, you’d better not say your next words. It’s in your best interest not to seek death any further this month.”

However, Northern River’s Loose Cultivator was one step too late.

The following part of Thrice Reckless Mad Saber’s sentence and Northern River’s Loose Cultivator’s message were sent at the same time. “For example, the daoist name ‘Venerable Nuclear Explosion’ sounds very awe-inspiring. Senior Xian Gong, what do you think about it?”

Scholar Xian Gong: “Hehehehehe.”

That long streak of ‘hehes’ fully expressed Scholar Xian Gong’s current state of mind.

Northern River’s Loose Cultivator faintly sighed. Even he was unable to save Thrice Reckless Mad Saber now.

Thrice Reckless Mad Saber: “…” Just now, I acted on impulse and told a bad joke that I shouldn’t have told!

The Nine Provinces Number One Group immediately quieted down.

Everyone knew that the words ‘nuclear explosion’ were taboo when Scholar Xian Gong was present as it would remind him of the cruel events of the past. Scholar Xian Gong would get angry at whomever brought this matter up.

Afterward, with Scholar Xian Gong’s body and strength slowly recovering, that matter related to the nuclear explosion wasn’t that much of a taboo anymore. From the looks of it, his old wound was gradually recovering.

But what Fellow Daoist Thrice Reckless did just now was the same as using a blade to jab at the old wound at the bottom of Scholar Xian Gong’s heart!

After a long time, Scholar Xian Gong replied, “I thank Fellow Daoist Thrice Reckless for his auspicious words… after I advance to the Venerable Realm, I’ll gift Fellow Daoist Thrice Reckless a nuclear bomb.”

At that time, he would tie ten nuclear bombs to Thrice Reckless Mad Saber’s body and fire him into space!