NovelEnglishChapter 0497 It doesn't mean that he would leave his mate for me, and I wouldn't want him to be withjust because of the baby.
To spend my life loving someone who felt trapped by my side? No thank you, I would rather do this alone.
As Sophia places the monitor on, my chest becomes constricted, the sudden realisation dawning uponthat I am going to be a single mother.
An overwhelming impending sense of fear that clouds my mind.
In all honesty, I felt like a fraud. A bad mum before even having the baby. As soon as the baby appears on the screen it will be all too real, and I'm not ready. I'm not prepared.
Follow on NovᴇlEnglish.nᴇt"Can we stop." I shout out, unable to breathe. My chest continuing to tighten as the air I inhale doesn't seem to have any oxygen in it. I was suffocating from the inside out, it's the only way to explain it. "What's going on?" Dad's asks as Sophia helpsto sit up, her eyes watchingcarefully.
"Cleo?" "I can't...I'm sorry I thought I was ready for this but I'm not." I pant out, pain now registering in my heart.
In truth I'm not ready to ask myself if what I am doing is the right thing for the baby, or for me.
"We can take a break, you can cback in a few times. I know this is all very overwhelming." Sophia tries to calmas she rubs my back...encouragingto take small deep breaths.
That was an understatement. It was one thing to think I can do this alone, without him...but to then actually do something without him, without giving him a choice.
To face my baby knowing full well of the choice I was taking away...
No this wasn't right, he should be here.
I need to get out of here, I can feel the walls closing in.
"Yes, I'll cback in a few days." I hurry to wipe the gel off my stomach, placing my hoodie back on and excusing myself from Sophia's doctor office.
I needed space, I needed tto think.
I head home, not waiting for Mum and Dad. They will have questions and I need to give myself that breathing space to think on suitable answers.
I keep lying to them, I know I do.
Follow on Novᴇl-Onlinᴇ.cᴏmBut I'm too in-deep now, and I have to remain on this runaway speeding train I have created.
Until it crashes around me.
In the comfort of my room, I rest my body on the bed. Wrapping the bedspread acrossfor comfort. I suddenly felt cold.
Did I just have a panic attack? I've never experienced one before but the struggling to breathe, the tightening of my chest, the way my vision started to pound as if it was mimicking the beats of my heart. He had to be one... surely.
I just needed to lay here, seeking comfort in familiarity of my bedroom. Take slow deep breaths.
I reach for my phone when it vibrates on my bed stand, thinking it would be Dad trying to get a hold ofbecause I have closed off my mind link.
But I'm surprised to see it is an unsaved number.
I click on it, knowing immediately who the sender is. Alpha Than.
Morning Cleo, just wanted to check you are okay? T I suppress a moan, why does he keep texting me. I told him I was safely hlast night but only because he claimed he would phone the alpha office if I didn't.
I didn't want Mum and Dad to know I had met with Maya, and I certainly didn't want it to be known that he caughtbeing sick by the side of the road.
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