FFF-Class Trashero

[11th Round] Anyway, We’re Engaged!

▶ Answer: It’s not Illidan. It’s Ileana.

Ileana! It’s only one syllable off! You might get it wrong even if you’ve known someone for a long time!

Thanks to Miss Trainee Teacher, I remembered Thief E’s real name, so I decided to talk to her earnestly. I approached the table where she was sitting. Ileana was wary of me as if looking at a crazy man, but this understanding hero didn’t care and returned it with a bright smile.

“Ileana. I am your fiancé.”

“Pffh-?! Chough-chough!”

With her eyes wide open, Ileana spat out what she ate in front of me and had to down a glass of Medusa’s fermented milk in a hurry. Whether it was because of my high luck or the protection of the universe, the food fragments that had been spit out didn’t even graze my body, but it wasn’t a very good sight.

The pattern after that was similar to before. The conversation began with how I knew her name then ended because I was a great hero and her fiancé. For this woman, her real name was as important as a security check.

“Ugh…a fiancé that Mother kept a secret…?”

Ileana, who had never revealed her name outside her home, believed what I said without much doubt. I asked her a question indirectly.

“How many Relics of Chaos have you collected?”

“Two.”

Ileana, who had gently taught me her important secret, took a brooch out of her pocket. I saw that one in the black market before. Unfortunately, it could only be used by descendants of the unfortunate third Elf King. Its effect was to protect the wearer like divinity.

But now, it was only a mere ornament. This was because the protection function of the relatively low item wasn’t helpful since everyone’s abilities went up too much. Then, after rummaging through a small suitcase, Ileana pulled out a Relic that I hadn’t seen before.

It was a monocle. Nobles who had lost their sight due to presbyopia always carried it with them for reading and paperwork. Still, in the Fantasy Continent, it was usually also a magic tool. Magic glasses that measured combat power!

But that item was useless in this entrance exam center. Once again, because the average ability was so great, they easily exceeded the limit measured with magic glasses.

There may be other beings who completely hid their skills like Master Mollan, but there was no chance to encounter them in the adventures of a hero. But how about here? The Lord had reached the Transcendental Realm when in the past, someone was evaluated as strong even at Level 300. Yet now, that was the level of common soldiers.

“Don’t look at it like it’s nothing. I went all the way to the North Continent and had a hard time retrieving it. This monocle is truly a great magic tool. There is no limit to the measurement of combat power. And unlike other tools, it displays combat power in numbers.”

“In numbers? Hoo…”

The magic monocle that I knew guessed combat power based on the concentration of energy wrapped around the body. The cheap ones measured combat power only by the level, while the advanced ones reflected it by combining the skill levels.

What’s the only downside? Production and assisting skill levels were also reflected in combat power. Cooking A and Swordsmanship A were treated equally! I wanted to measure my combat power before reading the memories in the Relic of Chaos.

Let’s start with someone else.

“What about his fighting power?”

I pointed to Clansman F, who was cleaning the floor of the restaurant.

▷ Race: Human

▷ Level: 96

▷ Job: Chef (Career → Cooking↑)

▷ Skill: Cooking S Brazier A Stir-Frying A Slaughter A Fermentation B…

▷ Status: Alert

It wasn’t the chef abilities of a shabby clansman. If it had been the original Fantasy Continent, he would have overtaken my colleague, the Chef King, and stolen his name. Ileana placed the monocle over her eye.

“That man is 1,053.”

“It looks like that thing measures it with numbers.”

However, the sample was insufficient. To figure out whether that number was high or low, I needed something to compare with.

“For reference, I am 5,160,000.”

“…That’s too much of a difference to compare.”

However, Ileana’s rapidly changing abilities convinced me.

▷ Race: Arch Elf

▷ Level: 4985

▷ Job: Thief (Weak → Luck↑)

▷ Skills: Stealth Z Latent Z Disguise MAX Dagger SSS Stamina SSS…

▷ Status: Nervous, Excited

If Clansman F were the Chef King, Ileana would be the Thief God. If she were thrown into the normal continent like this, there would be no target in the world that she couldn’t kill.

“Don’t be surprised to hear that. This is the origin of all magic glasses. The creator was the Goddess of Invention, who was the First Hero’s companion. She was an elf and a colleague of my ancestors. So this isn’t stolen, it’s just…”

“So what, your job is Thief after all?”

“Uh…”

Unable to refute, Ileana’s breasts trembled with a shock. The fact that they were fake was simply lamentable. And this time, it was my turn.

“How about my combat power?”

“I was going to measure it anyway. But don’t expect too much. I’ve met countless heroes in the past three years, but those above 10,000 were rare. Don’t be too disappointed whatever the result is. A tool is just a tool, but it cannot be determined by numbers. It’s just a reference anyway. I can’t deny that it is very useful in the arena when I need some travel funds, though.”

“You talk too much, huh.”

“You are so mean to the fiancée whom you met for the first time! Oddly enough, you’re not shy at all. Are you my fiancé?”

Ileana looked suspicious over the glasses. I casually tossed out a retort.

“Of course. Otherwise, how would I know that your breasts are fake?”

“Ugh?!”

The measurement of my combat power was carried out after Ileana came to her senses, being confused by discovering a grave secret on which her self-esteem was at stake.

“So?”

“Don’t rush it. This relic has the unique advantage that only combat-related skills are reflected in combat power and are accurately expressed in number, but it takes some time to measure because it is too old. It exceeds 1,000…it exceeds 5,000….”

I heard a live broadcast of Ileana dictating the number. Instead of coming out at once like a scale, it seemed to slowly rise from one like an elevator.

“Hmm? Did it stop at 100,000?”

Ileana, who was constantly dictating the numbers, didn’t say a word after passing 100,000. She shook her head from side to side with an expression of disbelief, denying my question.

“…No. It keeps going up. Now, I’m increasing the interval while ignoring small digits. It exceeds 120 thousand. Unbelievable…among the heroes I’ve seen so far, even that person who was the most powerful of all was only at 90,000.”

“That person?”

What kind of son of a bitch was that person?

“I don’t know the name. He was on the strong side among the heroes, but overall, he was weaker than me. Above all, he was a pathetic human man chasing only the tail of the famous Ice Princess from the Northern Continent, so I didn’t care…it exceeds 150,000.”

“I see.”

We chatted about this and that, waiting for the combat power measurement to be concluded. By the time her story was about to run out, I had succeeded in naturally taking advantage of the flow to deduce the main house where she had been hiding. I would depart as soon as I finished measuring my combat power.

“It exceeds one million…what the hell…?”

Ileana looked at my face through the glasses in astonishment, but I wasn’t in the mood to match her rhythm. It was because there was no sign of the measurement end.

“Isn’t that going to speed up?”

Shouldn’t it be flexible enough to be faster as the number of digits increases?

“Unfortunately, there is no such feature. No, according to the literature, it seems that there was in the past, but now it seems to be broken.”

When will those old glasses finish measuring my combat power? Fortunately, there was a helping hand.

“I’ve been waiting quietly for your conversation to end soon, but I can’t do it anymore. The restaurant has to close, so please leave.”

Clansman F gave us an expulsion order. At other times, I would have just cursed him for being an unkind native who drove out the hero, but now I was very grateful.

“Owner, does this restaurant also run an inn? Then I am going to reserve a room.”

The ignorant Ileana refused the expulsion order. But Clansman F didn’t care. He shrugged skillfully as he responded.

“Floria, while you were flirting with that stranger, all the rooms were filled with guests.”

“No way…I’ve been the only person in this restaurant since a while ago…”

“Anyway, it’s full. Or are you doubting my words, the Tongue of the Blue Wolf!”

“Kugh!”

The South Continent had an interesting custom. In this place where they lived in clan units, they were given the title of body parts depending on their status in the clan they belonged to.

Heart = Chief

Right Arm = The Strongest Warrior

Left Arm = The Chief’s Companion

Eye = The Best Hunter

Ear = Elder

Tongue = The Best Cook

Nose = Priest

Right Foot = The Coolest Man

Left Foot = The Most Beautiful Woman

…

Although there were slight differences between clans, in general, this was the case. And Clansman F, who was granted the name of Tongue, was one of the ten most important officials in the clan. But what did such a position mean in a small clan? Other than the Chief in charge of the heart, the rest were honorary titles close to nicknames given to show something.

However, it was the natives of the Southern Continent who were obsessed with trivialities such as honor. Whose right arm was the strongest? Whose feet were the widest? Whose nose bridge was the highest? Whose eyes were the brightest?

And Clansman F was famous for having the finest tongue in this area. That’s why he was able to marry the Chief’s daughter. Should I say that he had a good life because he was good at cooking? Therefore, the pride of this Tongue pierced the sky.

“My Tongue friend who fortified our friendship with his wife’s secret. I’m leaving right away, so I just wish you could get me one Medusa.”

“Sir. Where are you going? As you may know, Medusa trained as a mount are expensive. I’d recommend an old snake for short distances.”

“To the south.”

My destination was in the poles, further down south, but I lowered the hurdles because it was hard to find a sturdy Medusa that could get there. Even if there was, I couldn’t buy or rent it because it would be reserved only for the Chief.

My purpose was to make it feel like I was in the South Continent. Was it something like how you should taste fermented mare’s milk and ride a horse if you travel to Mongolia, famous for its conqueror Genghis Khan? I planned to use Medusa to cross the central desert.

Of course, I’d also stop by Ileana’s house in the middle.

“Huh! Are you going to cross that desert of death? All Medusas that are that good have owners already. It’s hard to…”

“Your wife-”

“Haha! You are a hasty customer. Why don’t you listen to what people have to say until the very end? Come to think of it. I think we can get you one. So give me a little time!”

Problem solved. Speaking of which, I decided to ask another question.

“Where are the heroes?”

Like on the Western Continent, a hundred and one heroes must have been summoned to the Southern Continent. However, I hadn’t heard a mention of them in the countless stories told under my keen ears while staying at this restaurant.

▶ Apology: I’m sorry. I didn’t say anything, but I thought that Cadet Kang Han-soo was struggling here to settle his grudge against the restaurant owner.

Miss Trainee Teacher, I am a righteous hero armed with the spirit of meddling in other’s affairs. Little grudges are quickly forgotten like their names.

▶ Question: There are people that you can’t forget, though, right?

Oh, that’s a quick question from Miss Trainee Teacher, whom I thought was blind.

But I didn’t bother to answer. The mere fact that I would never forget the names of Alex and Lanuvel was enough to explain.

“Thief E.”

“…”

“I mean you. You, the ignorant fiancée lady.”

“…I doubt you are my fiancé. I will go home and complain to my mother – hmmm. I’m going to ask, but I think I’ll be very tired when I get married.”

“Are you still measuring my combat power?”

“Yes. Currently…it exceeds 100 million…? Are you human?”

“Am I human? That’s a very rude question. I’m starting to wonder if you’re my fiancée.”

“I-I’m sorry.”

After receiving an apology from Thief E and cautioned her that I didn’t care about minor issues, I boldly forgave her for her mistakes.

“Be careful next time. I feel bad for any spirits who might hear it.”

I wasn’t a human but a human spirit. Between these two, there was a gap like that between the usual soft slime and the soft Master Mollan.

▶ Confused: I don’t know what the difference is…?!