FFF-Class Trashero

[12th Round] Camping

The Holy Kingdom also had a king, but he felt more like a high-ranking official rather than a leader.

He couldn’t enforce the Earthen concept where a god’s believers should obey the person’s words whose thoughts were closest to them since the Fantasy God was always watching and loved to interfere.

That was why authority over the kingdom was divided.

The Fantasy God worked in such a way that if Character A couldn’t cope with his duties, she would transfer it to Character B’s hands. If Character B couldn’t do it, then she’d pass it to Character C… If she couldn’t find anyone to do it, then she’d simply turn a passer-by to Character D and give it to them.

Because their spineless deity did as she pleased, the Holy Kingdom was divided into five major factions.

The Royals, filled with nobles and officials that worked together with the King as the center.

The Knights, which Commander Tomato led.

The Saintess Faction, composed of religious heroes that honored Saintess A.

The Shrine, a group of selfish priests and believers.

The Neutral Faction, or essentially the people who stubbornly followed nothing but the oracles.

“A Hero’s Test? No, before that…”

“This is the Holy Sword.”

“… I’ve never seen that design in literature, but there’s no doubt that it’s the Holy Sword. As a saintess, I exist to aid the hero who wields that blade in their adventures. It is my duty to serve you.”

Saintess A made a solemn declaration.

Tomato began to express his rage, but based on my previous experiences, I knew that he wouldn’t be able to influence her decision.

However…

“You acknowledge me, but I haven’t acknowledged you yet.”

“Is this about the Hero’s Test? I haven’t even heard of one that saints like us have to take. If there were such a thing, God would have told me…”

“That’s only natural. I just made it recently.”

“…”

Saintess A was bewildered. Regardless, I continued.

“I’ll be the judge if you can be useful to me.”

“Ha! I wasn’t going to say anything, but I’ve had enough. I can’t believe the Holy Sword is in the hands of such a despicable person. Fine. I shall prove that you don’t deserve a saint like me.”

The MAX-Class Hero started a fair deal with Saintess A.

***

We left to explore dungeons.

Filled with EXP and treasures, such places were the most appropriate when testing the Saintess’s value.

The Fantasy Continent had a lot of them.

Mountains, rivers, lakes, grasslands, cemeteries, villages, cities…

Each terrain had at least one dungeon. No matter how small the town was, there would be one, like a ‘Slime-infested Warehouse.’

The natives didn’t clear them on their own.

Why?

Because dungeons generated great profits.

No matter how trivial a dungeon was, it could be a great adventure for newcomers and half-baked adventurers. In order to explore them, they would spend money to eat and sleep at the village inn near it, perhaps also pay a visit to the blacksmith or the village store.

But the dungeon we were about to go to was different.

Its monsters were on a different level, and its terrain was perilous. No one had ever been able to conquer it.

Chimera Haven S.

It was populated with monsters that were artificially created by merging different beings. It was the third most treacherous chimera dungeon I had ever found.

“Drug Hero, are you cheating on me?”

“What nonsense are you talking about?”

There were three saintesses on the Fantasy Continent, and a hero could only be accompanied by one.

Three would be possible if they dragged them around on a leash like dogs. Otherwise, it was usually impossible.

They had the same role, so it wasn’t even rational to have more than one.

Rather than competing with their fellow saintesses, they preferred to save lost souls and receive their praises instead.

That was why I didn’t summon Saintess H. I needed to get Saintess A to join my side right now.

The Holy Kingdom was divided into five factions. The moment I acquired Saintess A, I would gain the support of both the Faction of the Saintess and the Knights.

The Neutral faction couldn’t be hostile to “the Hero chosen by God,” and I could use that same line as a pretext to purge all the corruption the Shrine had made.

There was no need to pay any attention to the Royals. The nobles who were vulnerable to trends would quickly betray their king and follow me anyway.

“If you want to get Saintess A, then why are you making her do something so useless as a Hero’s Test? She’s already yours.”

“It’s part of my plan.”

I had no intention of going on an adventure with her.

My aim was to use this trip as a political tool to rule the Holy Kingdom. For me to do so, she had to be both physically and spiritually loyal to me.

That was why I arranged this expedition.

“I’ve been thinking about it for a long time, but human politics is too complicated. If everyone obeyed and cooperated with a hero more honorable than any king and emperor, then not only adventures, but life itself would be far easier and smoother.”

“You’re onto something.”

“Of course! I am the First Spirit, after all.”

The Saintess was supposed to follow the hero closely like a cloak, but Saintess A, whose pride was hurt, did so from a distance.

Next to her was Holy Knight Tomato. He was appalled at first, but he soon tagged along when he heard I was going to the ‘Chimera Haven S.’

They had been looking at me like I had gone crazy for a while.

“Wuuuuu~”

“Wuuu~”

I could already hear the chimeras’ cries from this distance.

Chimeras were made by fusing different creatures, but this dungeon’s chimeras were different.

The objective of their creator was obvious: artificial angels.

The chimeras in the dungeon were failures. The one thing they had in common was that they all had human heads. Without intelligence, however, they could only produce one type of noise… Until death.

▷ Race: Holy Chimera

▷ Level: 538

▷ Job: Sentry (Guard → Scout↑)

▷ Skill: Fusion C, Regeneration D, Scout D, Holy E, Flight E…

▷ Status: Frenzy, Despair, Anger, Obedience

As expected of a dungeon I chose, the monsters’ stats were high. Their skills were weaker than their levels, but that was because we were still just outside of its entrance.

The deeper we went in, the stronger the monsters would become. The chimeras soon noticed and started running after us.

“I’ll bless you, Hero.”

Saintess A, who had been expressionless the whole time, spoke with a proud smile. I knew just how to reply to that.

“I don’t need your blessing. I’m already blessed.”

“What… Huh?”

Mine was even more powerful.

These were nature’s blessings from the spirits who sexually harassed me. I had strong resistance to the properties of the earth, fire, wind, water, and mind.

There was also the blessing from Divinity Z that boosted my abilities whenever a battle began.

There was no room for the Saintess’s blessing since blessings didn’t stack.

“Wuuuuuuu~”

“Wuuuuu~”

“Wuu-”

“Wu-”

The Chimeras approached us with loud cries, but they were immediately cut as soon as they came within range of the Holy Sword Nucleon.

They had human heads and bodies made out of different creatures’ parts, but none of it mattered. They were nothing in front of the overwhelming power of the righteous hero.

“The Level 500 chimeras are easily being slain?”

“He’s truly the legendary Hero chosen by God…”

“We really shouldn’t judge a book by its cover.”

The whisper of the priests and the knights who followed us soon entered my ears.

As thoughtless Fantasy natives who admired power, they badmouthed me before with the instigation of Saintess A and Tomato, and now they were praising me.

But I wasn’t in a hurry.

The Hero’s Test was just beginning.

***

Chimera Haven S was a giant dungeon composed of a jungle inhabited by numerous monsters and the underground laboratory used to create them.

Using the spirit of the earth, I could go straight to the lab, but I headed towards the middle of the jungle where the entrance was instead.

Very slowly.

I planned to stay in the jungle for about five days.

“River. This is a perfect place to set up camp.”

Making my way through the jungle, I dealt with chimeras and other monsters, and as soon as the sun went down, I chose a place by the river to settle down on for the night.

So far, no one had been injured, let alone killed. That was thanks to my amazing performance.

The greatest hero of the Holy Kingdom, Commander Tomato, followed my lead without complaints.

It was much better to have a river with open fields than a jungle that created blind spots on all sides. We could also get drinking water this way.

River monsters? They were certainly a threat, but the same went for land monsters. It wouldn’t be dangerous if we didn’t get too close to the river anyway.

Squeak, Squeak, Squeak.

Despite having walked all day, the Holy Knights cut down trees and removed rocks with their remaining stamina. As expected from the ones picked by Tomato, they worked in perfect harmony.

In an instant, a flat campsite was completed. They used trees and rocks to build a perimeter around us as well.

For the finishing touch, a thread with a bell had been connected to the entrance that was left open. Instead of trying to climb over it, the monsters would be lured into the open entrance instead.

It was a standard and flawless procedure.

“I’m going to rest for now until dawn. Stand guard and watch. You two can at least do that, right?”

“Isn’t this Hero’s Test too easy?” Saintess A asked.

I shook my head.

“Camping is a basic adventurer skill, but don’t look down on it. Securing food, clothing, and shelter is much more important than fighting in any journey.”

“You don’t have to tell me that. Who do you think we are?”

“The pride of the Holy Kingdom.”

“You’re right, so please refrain from treating me like a child.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

I chased away a bug with my hands, then pulled out my sleeping bag from my inventory and spread it to the ground.

I wanted to get a “hot water bottle” to keep me warm for the night, but Shadow A was a married woman, not a widow, and Saintess H couldn’t be disclosed for political reasons. Boris was also still in critical condition.

This was such a tragedy!

“It’s been a long time since I last camped.”

And for the first time in 50 years, I spent the night outside the comforts of a heating pad.

Unpleasant memories from the first round crept up. I remembered a bitch who complained that she wanted to take a bath and another idiot that insisted he couldn’t sleep without alcohol.

It tormented me in different ways.

At that moment, the five heroes at the Western Continent were camping under the starry skies. Wondering what they were doing, I began to observe them.

“Hurry up and find an inn for us to stay at.”

“These damn insects are everywhere.”

“There’s nothing but trees as far as I can see here.”

“I think we’re lost. I can’t even find Lanuvel.”

“Heroes, how about we camp here? I can stand guard…’

“I’d rather die, Alex!”

“Me too!”

Pretending to be cute, Lanuvel led the party through a bizarre path. She either made a mistake, lacked information, or did so on purpose.

I thought a real adventure included getting lost and suffering.

I became certain when I saw Lanuvel’s hips swaying from side to side. That was her habit when she lied.

Perhaps, that party would wander around the area for another five days or so.

“A troll has appeared from the west!”

“Kill it! The eastern barrier is collapsing!”

“Huh? Commander, the chimeras’ levels aren’t normal!”

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

Our campsite was also slowly becoming a mess.

We had a pretty Saintess who couldn’t go poop without being accompanied, and stupid knights who went to the river to wash to lose their heads.

It was quite a natural development for an expedition, whose members were on average level 300, to be this way when thrown into a level 900 dungeon in the middle of the night.

Chimera Haven S. It was beautiful during the day, but it became a nightmare once the sun had gone down.

▷ Race: Holy Chimera

▷ Level: 738

▷ Job: Assassin (Night = Stealth ↑)

▷ Skills: Fusion B, Regeneration C, Wild C, Divinity D, Surprise Attack D…

▷ Status: Madness, Despair, Anger, Obedience, Stealth

Such sneaky chimeras also roamed this jungle, after all.

Tomato protected the Holy Knights and Saintess A as she hurriedly healed the injured and the dead.

Me?

“Lanuvel’s leg hurts so much I can’t walk anymore!”

“Then there’s nothing we can do. We have no choice but to camp here.”

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

“Oh, my God…”

Lanuvel, pretending to be cute, quietly looked down on the hero party that was being tormented.

At that moment, I needed popcorn more than I needed a hot water bottle.

▶ Bitter: I think I know from whom cadet Kang Han-soo learned the Hero’s Test from…