Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World

Chapter 239 – Florida Man Allegedly Groomed a Maiden. FBI Declared That He Rizzed His Last Gyatt.

Leo drowsily woke up after he had lost to Aslan's shadow. He dragged his feet to the bathroom to get the morning shower. Upon stepping his foot into the bathroom, Leo found Esen, gawking at her improved physique.

"Mamma Mia…"

Leo nodded in approval as the busty physique of Esen aligned with his taste. He naughtily slapped her butt and entered the shower room.

"Ow!"

Esen bent her back and pouted. She glared at Leo in embarrassment.

"Hey, geezer! What did you do to me?!"

Leo shrugged and started showering. He gasped when the cold shower hit his face and shook his head, splashing water everywhere in the bathroom. Then, he answered Esen.

"Nothing much. I just injected some "LIFE FORCE" into you. Try to open the system and check your lifespan. You'll be surprised. Oh, by the way, I have given you the authority to freely browse your lifespan or view other people's lifespan status. Try thinking about your remaining lifespan, and the menu will show up."

"…"

Esen had a thousand curses to scream at Leo because of the last night's activity. She wasn't angry about what Leo had done. However, she was dissatisfied that he didn't wake her up to enjoy their romantic time together.

Although Esen was annoyed, she tried opening the lifespan system menu to see her lifespan status. A blue screen appeared and floated in front of her.

.

Name: Esen Sydin IV

Age: 10,007

Remaining Lifespan: 69,420 Years, 11 Months, 29 Days, and 22 Hours

.

"Huh?"

Esen vaguely remembered that she saw this status screen. It used to show her remaining lifespan as null before, but the current status screen finally revealed her remaining time and life force.

"What did you do to me exactly, geezer!?" Esen turned toward Leo, who leisurely washed his long hair while he untied his braided beard.

"I meant exactly what I said. I gave you some life force, so you won't suddenly drop and stop breathing like the last time. If someone cuts your karma string again, you will have some backup energy to stay alive until I rescue you."

"What do you mean?" Esen had no idea what Leo was talking about.

"It's a long story. Let me explain to you about the power of sages and entities while we're here. Oh, do you want to take a bath together? Want me to rub your back?"

"…"

As soon as Leo mentioned taking a bath together, Esen came back to her senses. She remembered that they were naked and were alone in a bathroom.

White smoke came out from Esen's ears. As usual, her entire face was as red as ripened tomatoes. However, as she had already lost her innocence, she instinctively looked down and checked Leo's figure.

The abs, the lean muscles, and the wide shoulders of Leo made Esen drool. She forgot about shame.

Leo glanced at Esen and noticed her line of sight. He smirked.

"Or perhaps are you interested in the morning life force injection?"

"…Injection? WAIT A MINUTE!"

"HAHAHA! GET OVER HERE! STICK OUT YOUR GYATT FOR THE RIZZLER!!"

"WTF DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!"

It was too late for Esen to escape. Leo pulled her into the shower room and trapped her there. He pulled her into a kiss.

Esen resisted at first. But after a minute of licking and touching, she hugged him and freed her desire.

The husband and wife ended up taking a morning bath together and got intimated.

.

.

Two hours later, the couple got out of the bath and put on some clothes. Leo sat on his bed while Esen sat on his lap hugging him and leaning on his chest.

Leo explained what he knew about the sage's abilities and the entity's laws. He also warned her of the threats of karma severance and the importance of karma strings.

Esen was enlightened. She forgot about the shame and embarrassment from before as she was more interested in Leo's true cultivation base.

"Since you know everything, what is your actual cultivation base, geezer?"

"Can't you at least call me "Darling" or "Dear" like a happy wife for once, honey?" Leo pursed his lips.

"W-W-Who's your honey?! W-Why should I call you those?!"

"Meh, you're still embarrassed even after all we have done so far?"

"…" Esen lowered her head and blushed. She thought of their sexy time in the bath, and she remembered how she threw herself on him.

"Anyway," Leo gently combed Esen's silky blond hair while speaking. "I'm definitely neither a sage nor an entity. I'm probably a karmic sovereign or something higher… I guess."

"You guess? You don't know about your cultivation base or what?"

"…Something like that. I don't have a clue."

"And how the hell have you gotten this strong?!"

"… I just ate everything I found. Oh, I ate so many Godzillas and contaminated snow. That's probably why."

"…"

Leo thought of the dark time when he was still on Earth. He struggled to save up YOL so that he could transmigrate or teleport to a better planet.

He didn't regret what he did. He was thankful that he managed to save up to 2 billion YOL to get here. Because of such an achievement, Leo met many people and scored himself a wife.

"Anyway, the crisis is over. I'll be teaching you how to grow your strength from now on, okay?" Leo changed the subject. He measured Esen's current cultivation base again.

She had become a deity. However, there were only 200 stars inside her dantian universe, which she wasn't aware of yet.

"You said that you had no idea about cultivation. How will you teach me?"

"I know a lot more than you do, wifey. Actually, I have a thousand techniques that I can impart to you directly whenever I want to."

"Liar."

"Don't believe me? Fine. I'll show you something really good. You'll have to reward me by cooking this daddy some sandwiches later, okay?"

Leo pressed his finger on Esen's forehead. Then, he used a technique that he learned from Aslan and Mao Miaomiao.

The power of laws allowed entities to borrow the power of the universe. However, the power of Karmic Dao gave the authority to a karmic sovereign to bend the laws at his will. As such, their powers usually broke common sense.

The memory transfer technique of Leo was also a common technique that many nascent soul cultivators could use. However, Leo employed the power of time by creating a small time domain big enough to cover their room. He slowed the time flow by 1000x so that Esen could take the time to digest all the information.

Leo transferred the skills and techniques that he had learned from Esen's shadow. He also planned to defeat Esen's shadow 10,000 more times so that he could get the shadow's weapon as a reward. That staff would be useful for her in the future.

Esen fell into a trance when a strange vision entered her mind. Her body tensed and stiffened while Leo calmly stroked her back to calm her.

One minute in reality was one thousand minutes inside Leo's domain. However, it was not enough for Esen to digest everything at once as she didn't have the miracle power of a system.

Leo wished that he could get her a system power for self-protection.

'What do I have to do to get her a system's power or a similar alien ring? Should I start hunting for entity fate crystals? Or should I give her one of the crystals that I have? Hmm…'

.

In the end, it took Esen two hours in the real world, aka 2,000 hours in the time domain, to understand everything. She regained her senses and panted in exhaustion.

Leo supported her and put her down on the bed. He then canceled the power of time.

"Good job. How is it? Can I get your approval?"

Esen glared at Leo with the corner of her eyes. She complained. "You're a monster."

"Yeah, I'm not a human anymore. I know."

"Not that. You literally are a monster."

"Well, you're right." Leo gently patted Esen's forehead and stood up. "I'm gonna go to work now. Take your time resting and comprehending the new techniques while this daddy is out, okay? If you want some more injection at night, you can call Ivy over and…"

"GET OUT!" Esen threw a pillow at Leo's face.

Leo laughed and left the room.

.

.

Leo exited the bus and found Esen's subordinates waiting for him. Everybody surrounded Leo.

Ivy's eyes were moist. "How is Her Majesty?! Is she safe?!"

Leo smiled at the group of former undead. He was proud of her that she had so many caring subordinates.

"She has woken up."

"!!!"

Everybody widened their eyes. Ivy collapsed and sat on her butt as if her legs lost all strength. In reality, she was so relieved that she cried in joy.

The elves and the molg people celebrated and cheered. Their voices were so loud that everybody in the domain could hear them.

"Go see her, Ivy."

Leo patted Ivy's head and left the parking lot building. The latter brightly smiled and dashed onto the bus along with Marc and Beatrice.

Upon stepping out of the parking lot, another party stood there, waiting for him. They were none other than the four guardian statues, who had come to make their reports.

Meowmeow still had some cracks on his chest, yet he was the first to kneel

"We have failed you. Please punish us." Spoken Meowmeow.

"Fail? What kind of failure? Failure to become a doctor before you were 10 or you failed to become 30 years old when you were 12?"

"Pfft."

Aslan held back his laughter while the other statues gave Leo a weird look.

Meowmeow pretended not to hear Leo's joke and proceeded with his report.

"We have failed to defend your buildings and many facilities. All crops on the farm have been razed to the ground. The white tree has been hit by an anti-domain gun, and its trunk has been half-broken. The sweet dream mushroom spores leak from the array, and it is infecting the ruined farm. We've managed to contain it to a certain degree, though. Also… the shopping mall's front glasses are shattered. The machine in the recycling center has been destroyed. Both apartments have collapsed. As for the pylon tower, you can see it for yourself."

Leo turned to look at the pylon tower, which was the main source of yin-yang Qi.

It also collapsed on the ground. Only debris remained.

Meowmeow hadn't finished yet.

"I also have a confession. I tried my best to defeat the invader's ringleader Mao Miaomiao, but I failed to defeat him. Because of my incompetency, the Florida Domain has been critically damaged. Please punish me."

Leo rolled his eyes. Sometimes, he wondered who was smarter, Leo or Meowmeow.

"You dumbass. Have you forgotten what my system can do?"

Leo opened his domain system. The grid map revealed the state of each building and how damaged they were.

Although everything seemed to be in ruins, the system had a friendly button that Leo could abuse.

[Repair All]

The price of this button was a whopping 100,000 YOL. However, considering how important each building was, the repair fee was worth it.

DING

Leo pressed the button. Instantly, everything within Florida Domain was restored to its former glory. Big and small craters were buried. Burnt areas were cleaned while buildings were fully repaired and rebuilt. Broken machines became brand new while the destroyed crops were restored. As for the pylon tower, there was no need to check as the massive crystal began producing yin and yang Qi once again.

That was not all. Meowmeow's chest was also repaired.

Meowmeow widened his eyes for a moment before he slapped his face in embarrassment and shame.

"I forgot about this. Please kill me. I don't want to live anymore."

Leo scoffed. "What? Just because you made a clown out of yourself, you want to die now? Yeah, you're a terrible clown alright. I've been a clown for months, but I never want to die. Grow some backbones, dumbass."

"PFFT!"

Mu-Nyang, Lucky, and Aslan held their stomach while they covered their mouth, holding back their laughter. As for Meowmeow, he blankly stared at Leo's face in a daze.

"…Master. You're very cruel." Meowmeow wanted to cry but he had no tears.

"You dug yourself a hole. Nobody forced you."

"DAMMIT!"

Due to the accumulated emotional damage, Meowmeow flew back to the flying island and reverted to a giant guardian statue. As for his colleagues, they hysterically burst into laughter.

Minutes later, the group laughed enough. Lucky took this opportunity to report his good deeds.

"Master, woof! I've collected lifespan from the invaders for you, woof!"

DING

<Your guardian statue "Lucky" has transferred his life force to you.>

<You have gained 2,159,156 years of lifespan.>

Leo nodded in approval. He petted the good boy while Lucky wagged his tail.

"Good job! You've done, well."

"I'm a good boy, woof!"

"That's right. You're such a good boy!"

Although the wolf statue's body was made of mysterious hard metal, Leo petted it and rubbed its face as if the metal skin was soft and fluffy. Lucky also panted and smiled as he loved the petting.

The petting session didn't last long as an evil cat stepped up to steal the scene.

"Master, munya. I have something better, munya! Check this out!"

Mu-Nyang poured crystals on the ground. Each ball glistened in various colors and emitted a radiance of profound aura.

They were earth fate crystals and sky fate crystals!