Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World-Novel



Chapter 158 – Florida Man Tied Children with BDSM Ropes and Sent Them to School. Teachers Approved While Parents Protested. 

7 AM of the next day, a servant came to fetch Leo and his company to the tournament area.

As cultivators rarely slept, everybody but Leo was already prepared. The girls retrieved all furniture and utensils last night, and they stored everything in Xu Nuan's spatial ring.

As for Leo, he still had bed hair, and he was in his pajamas. He came out of the building, holding a pillow and a blanket as he was still half-asleep.

During the night, Esen and Cat pranked Leo. Cat sat on top of him while Esen, who was drunk at the time, squeezed Cat's dirty saliva into his mouth. He ended up tying the two naughty children with upgraded ropes and managed to sleep at 4AM.

Because of the lack of sleep, Leo's expression was grumpy and dark. When he stared at the servant, the latter peed his pants.

As for Esen and Cat, they were still tied by Leo's upgraded ropes in a BDSM style. Their mouths were gagged, and they still struggled to break free. As nobody could untie them, they got stuck in that condition.

"Let's go."

Leo yawned and ordered the servant to lead the way. He stored his favorite pillow and blanket in his ring and accompanied the crowd in his pajamas. While sleep-walking, Leo dragged the two naughty girls with leashes as if they were disobedient puppies.

The servant shrieked and guided the group to the tournament area. He didn't notice that the abandoned courtyard was strangely clean.

.

.

The guide brought Leo back to the army camp area outside of the outer city. When Leo and his company got there, many sects and clans were already there.

Instead of finding a military campsite, Leo found a massive arena platform and spectator stands. Watchtowers that usually appeared in siege warfare surrounded the 1,000 square-meter circular stage. Many strong cultivators stood on the watchtowers, looking down on the people below.

Strangely, everybody glared at Leo's group. Their cold eyes never hid their killing intent and hatred.

Leo glanced back at the crowd. Upon sensing their hostility, Leo snorted in disdain.

"Well, well, well. This is an away game, isn't it? I should expect this much."

The guide pointed at a public spectator stand area, which was empty. As usual, Yan Xiang prepared him a bad-looking one.

While the watchtowers and other seats were clean and well-decorated with flags and banners, seats for Leo's group were smelly brown cushions. He gave it a closer look and noticed that they were also soaked with human urine and feces.

Gao Yan and Tiger Swordsman's faces turned dark as they realized the pettiness of the host. The girls shrank back in fear while Yao Qiqi was on the verge of crying. As for Xu Nuan, she was as angry as Leo.

This bullying and humiliation were despicable. She was disappointed in the emperor.

Looking at the trash cushions, Leo's mood was foul. As he was in a sleep-deprived state, he turned around and told his people.

"We will change seats with the others. Wait here."

Leo kicked the rotten spectator stand toward the arena. It landed right in the middle of the stage.

As soon as it crumbled, the smell of feces and urine spread. The onlooking cultivators covered their noses in disgust. Meanwhile, the agents from the Situ Clan, Ouyang Clan, and the Yan Family shouted. 

"How dare you disrespect the imperial court?!"

"Who is stirring a commotion before the tournament?! Do you know who's hosting this event?!"

"Is this why we don't welcome a country bumpkin like you!"

As most people here came from the two clans, more people yelled and cussed at Leo. As for the people from smaller clans and sects, they chose to remain silent as they didn't want to take part in this unfair lynching and bullying.

Leo slowly ran out of patience. He sneered at them, wondering if they were one-dimensional extras from a 3rd-rated web or something similar as their comments and behavior were one-dimensional.

Why would weak cultivators openly be disrespectful to a stronger cultivator?

The reason was simple. They were either blind or stupid.

Leo shook his head. His mood got a little better after he thought of them as NPCs. Still, for the sake of teaching them a lesson, Leo pulled out his pistol.

He marked everybody who had spoken earlier. As if he entered a bullet time, Leo pulled the trigger 20 times in a row without changing his posture. Only his arm and right hand moved.

20 upgraded bullets found the heads of the noisy cultivators on the watchtowers. 20 yellowish needles flashed and disappeared into the sky. A second later, 20 agents from the three clans collapsed with their eyes wide open.

As upgraded bullets were expensive, Leo reloaded the pistol with an essence stone. He then shouted back.

"If you think you're better than me, get down here and talk to me to the face. If you keep shouting while hiding like a coward, I'll be coming for you!"

"!!!"

The three hostile clans stopped making noises as their brain couldn't comprehend what had just happened. Their colleagues suddenly collapsed and died on the spot, but they couldn't sense or see Leo's attack.

Fear and uncertainty loomed in their mind. They were reminded that their opponent was an immortal while they were merely low-rank servants from the three clans.

Logically, they would have been killed instantly had they done the same to other immortals. They totally forgot about it as their master had ordered them to do so.

As their plan backfired, they shivered in fear, realizing their mistakes. They hid behind the watchtower's short walls, praying that Leo wouldn't notice them.

Leo looked around for a moment. When everybody stopped making useless noise, he felt a lot better.

After the useless squabble and senseless killing, Xu Nuan brought out the kitchen chairs and table for them to sit on. Everybody rested there and waited for the event to start.

.

An hour later, Tang Xuan and his clansmen arrived. However, they didn't come here as contestants as Tang Xuan refused to dispatch his clan's elders or disciples here. Only Tang Tian and two of their elders followed him to this arena.

The remnant of the Fatui Cult also arrived. Only four nascent soul cultivators showed up, and they still dressed in the same black clothes. Similar to the Tang Clan, they came here as spectators.

RUMBLE

A golden flying ship of Yan Xiang also arrived. As if they were celestial beings, they rode a massive carriage, which had a small castle on top. Yan Xiang, Yan Luo, and Yan Zhu stood on the deck.

Surprisingly, the three men weren't the only passengers there. Xu Nuan looked up and noticed many familiar faces on the ship, looking back at her.

They were the girls from Amazonian Sanctuary, who had refused to join Leo's domain. Among them, Qi Niu, the girl who once tried to seduce Leo, was by Yan Zhu's side.

Qi Niu sneered at Yao Qiqi and Xu Nuan as she was proud of her decision. While looking down on her former mentor, she mocked them and Leo.

"This is what you get for abandoning our sanctuary. You're just a bunch of greedy bitches that wag your tails around an old man! Look at me. I'm now a royal consort of the third prince! But you, what are you right now? I know, a bunch of beggars! Ha! Serve you right!"

Yan Zhu heard his new wife's remarks. He laughed and pulled Qi Niu into a hug. Then, he groped her chest.

"That's right, my wife. Those bastards are nothing to us. Even if he's an immortal from a higher realm, he is just a stray that can't compete with other immortals for resources."

Qi Niu was interested in the topic. She giggled and rubbed her chest against Yan Zhu's hand.

"Your Highness. What does the immortal realm look like? Why are you calling that old man a stray?"

Yan Zhu smirked and explained. He intentionally used a voice vibration technique so that everybody in the Cauliflower City could hear his words.

"Immortals aren't really fond of entering a mortal realm. Whenever they enter a mortal realm, the heavenly forces that protect all mortal realms always suppress their Qi and aura to a mortal stage. Also, they cannot cultivate or gather Qi from the lower realm! This is why no immortal wants to linger on a mortal realm for too long since it's a waste of time… except…"

"Except?"

Yan Zhu sneered at Leo. Unafraid of the consequences, Yan Zhu elaborated while he attempted to ruin Leo's reputation.

"Stray immortals. My wife. Do you know what a stray immortal is?"

"What are they, husband?"

"Stray immortals are losers of the immortal realm! They fail to set their roots over there and are usually bullied by their peers. Because they can't acquire cultivation resources from the higher realms, they sometimes enter mortal realms to steal cultivation resources from mortals! They're the worst kind of despicable immortals out there! In short, they're cowardly beggar losers that can only bully the weak and run away from the strong!"

"…I see!"

Yan Zhu and Qi Niu burst into laughter while the spectators gave Leo a weird look. On the other hand, Gao Yan, Tiger Swordsman, and Xu Nuan frowned as they doubted it.

Yao Qiqi pouted and yelled back at Qi Niu.

"Liar! Senior Florida Man is not a beggar! He gave us essence stones and artifacts from the higher realm! He never steals anything from us!"

Leo scratched his nose as Yao Qiqi was half correct. She was wrong on the "Steal" part, though.

But thanks to Yan Zhu's explanation, Leo learned a new thing. He wondered if immortals from the higher realm would come down to visit his store one day.

Yan Xiang gestured for Yan Zhu to stop making a commotion although he approved of the message. As they succeeded in ruining Leo's reputation to make their clans look like the good guys, Yan Xiang proceeded to the next step.

"My subjects, we've gathered here once again for the seasonal tournament of our young generation. Although not many clans and sects agree to participate this season, we hope to see new rising stars in our empire."

The crowd cheered and praised Yan Xiang in admiration. Meanwhile, Leo and his people only watched the show.

Yan Xiang continued, "As usual, we shall proceed with the preliminary round to examine our new rising stars. Bring in the boulder of verification!"

Situ Bai and Ouyang Ke came out of the crowd. They burned the messes that Leo had tossed on the stage. Then, Situ Bai ejected a massive boulder from his spatial ring.

The boulder was flat on one side. It was 10 meters wide and two meters tall.

Ouyang Ke explained how it worked.

"For the sake of our newcomers, this is how we verify our contestants. All tournament contestants will hit the boulder once without using their Qi. Then, the boulder of verification will identify their BONE AGE! As in the past, many clans disguised adults as juniors to participate. We have to use this method to filter out dishonest people from the crops!"

While speaking, Situ Bai and Ouyang Ke widely grinned. Even Yan Zhu burst into laughter as he knew what they were about to do.

"Let's stop chitchatting. How about we let Sir Florida Man introduce us to his juniors! Sir Florida Man, please guide your juniors to the stage. As we've agreed, you may send five juniors to join the tournament."

Getting called, Gao Yan was excited. He and Yao Qiqi got on the stage first while the two tamers reluctantly followed them.

Meanwhile, Esen's face turned white. She looked at Leo, wondering if their plan would work.

Leo let out a long sigh. He wasn't confident if his tea would work.

"Oh, well. Just go and try, Esen. But you know what? If the boulder is accidentally destroyed, they can't verify your age, right?"

"…"

Esen's eyes gleamed as she was enlightened. She widely grinned.

Leo untied the ropes and permitted Taxi, Cat, and Ricardo to revert to their original form. The monster beasts immediately transformed and revealed their aura.