Guild Wars-Novel



[Thread: Umbra's Wrath - We're Getting Our Butts Kicked! Posted by: EpicFailWarrior] 

EpicFailWarrior: "Alright, fellow warriors, gather 'round! We seriously need to talk about this whole Umbra situation. Are we even playing the same game? I mean, have you seen their guild leader, Draco? He's like the Chuck Norris of the Divine World!" 

MasterBlaster: "I swear, every time I respawn, Misery's there waiting for me, like he's got a personal vendetta against my character. Can we report him for harassment?" 

NoobSlayer69: "LOL, don't even get me started on Misery's sidekicks, Chel and Bria. Those two are like a tag team of seduction and destruction. I can't decide whether I want to run from them or join their fan club." 

RageQuitMage: "Ugh, and let's not forget AP_Berzerker. That guy's like a one-man wrecking crew. I blinked, and he turned our fortress into a sandcastle! Can someone please nerf him?" 

EpicFailWarrior: "But seriously, guys, we need a plan. Our faction is getting wiped faster than a noob in a PvP zone. We need to step up our game before we end up being the laughingstock of the entire main plane." 

NerdyHealer: "I've been working on a new healing spell that might give us a fighting chance. It's called 'Epic Heal of Epicness.' Yeah, I know, the name needs work, but trust me, it's gonna be totally epic." 

RNGesus: "And let's not forget about those evil blokes, the core members of Umbra. They're like the cool kids in school who always have the best loot. How do we even compete with that?!" 

EpicFailWarrior: "Okay, team, let's brainstorm some ideas. We could try forming an alliance with some other forces, or we could all just wear disguises and pretend to be NPCs until this blows over. Thoughts?" 

StealthyNinja: "I vote for the disguise thing. I'm already practicing my 'generic NPC' lines. 'Greetings, adventurer. I have a quest for you. Please kill 10 rats for reasons.'" 

EpicFailWarrior: "Alright, I'm taking notes. Disguises and rat quests it is. But remember, guys, we're not giving up. We may be getting our butts kicked now, but one day, we'll look back on this and laugh... hopefully. Now, let's get out there and show Umbra what we're made of!" 

[Thread: Survival Is Quite Simple Actually. Posted by: AP_Berzerker] 

AP_Berzerker (Gentlemen of Honor and Truth): "I have seen my fellow players complain of their suffering under the hands of Umbra, and my heart bleeds at such cruelty and pain." 

AP_Berzerker (Gentlemen of Honor and Truth): "That is why after discussing with my fellow core members of Umbra, we have decided to give you all a way out." 

AP_Berzerker (Gentlemen of Honor and Truth): "We don't want much. Simply break both your arms and legs, kowtow to an image of Umbra's symbol 10,000 times and offer everything you own, then we shall cease our aggression." 

PoketMonster: "You!! How could you be so cruel? Who could possibly do such a thing?!" 

LoudmouthWarrior: "AP_Berzerker don't go too far! We might be on the losing side but that doesn't mean you can toy with us!" 

AP_Berzerker (Gentlemen of Honor and Truth): "Haha." 

FuriousMage: "Are you out of your damn mind, AP_Berzerker?! You think we're just going to humiliate ourselves like that? We'd rather be defeated a thousand times over!" 

BerserkBlade: "I can't even... This is beyond messed up. You've officially lost it, man." 

AP_Berzerker (Gentlemen of Honor and Truth): "Well, well, looks like someone's having a bad loot day. Maybe you should consider our offer. Could be your lucky break!" 

FuriousMage: "You must be deluded if you think any of us would even consider this insanity. Get lost!" 

NecroNinja: "I've fought monsters, bosses, and other players, but this is the most absurd thing I've ever seen. You're a disgrace to the gaming community." 

AP_Berzerker (Gentlemen of Honor and Truth): "You guys are so touchy. We're just trying to help you out of your misery. No need to be so dramatic." 

LoudmouthWarrior: "Dramatic?! You're the one who thinks breaking our limbs is a solution! Get a grip, man!" 

SavageRanger: "I can't even take this seriously. AP_Berzerker, you're a joke. We'll find a way to beat Umbra without sacrificing our dignity, thank you very much." 

AP_Berzerker (Gentlemen of Honor and Truth): "Hey, don't knock it till you've tried it. Limb-breaking can be quite liberating, you know." 

PoketMonster: "Unbelievable. I can't even deal with this level of trolling right now. I'm out." 

LoudmouthWarrior: "Yeah, same here. This thread has officially killed my brain cells." 

AP_Berzerker (Gentlemen of Honor and Truth): "Aww, leaving so soon? Don't forget to stretch those limbs before attempting the kowtow. Wouldn't want any cramps!" 

[Thread: A Revolutionary Approach to Umbra's Challenge. Posted by: SneakyRogue] 

SneakyRogue: "Hey, guys, I've been thinking. Instead of whining about getting crushed by Umbra, what if we try a more... unconventional strategy?" 

FireballMage: "Oh, I'm all ears. I'm ready to hear about this brilliant plan that will totally turn the tide of war." 

SneakyRogue: "Okay, hear me out. What if we all start a 'Dance of Defeat' every time we see a member of Umbra? Like, we just start dancing like crazy, and they'll be so confused that they won't even want to fight us anymore!" 

ArrowSniper: "Wait, what kind of dance are we talking about? Because I've got two left feet and I don't think my character's dance emote is very impressive." 

SneakyRogue: "Doesn't matter! The key is to be so utterly ridiculous that Umbra won't know how to react. Picture it: they charge at us, all fierce and deadly, and suddenly we're breakdancing in their faces. They won't stand a chance!" 

RNGesus: "I mean, I guess it could work. They might just die from laughter, giving us a shot at victory." 

NoodleHealer: "And if they don't laugh, at least we'll have a good time embarrassing ourselves. It's a win-win, really." 

SneakyRogue: "Exactly! So let's gather up and practice our most embarrassing dance moves. I'll be working on my 'awkward robot' routine. Let's show Umbra that we may be defeated, but we'll go down dancing!" 

FireballMage: "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm actually excited to try this out. SneakyRogue, you might be onto something here." 

LoudmouthWarrior: "I'm in! Let's do this, people! Prepare to witness the most epic dance battle in gaming history!" 

The forums were lively today as many players were chatting about the current situation of Umbra's conquest. As it stood, the core members had already pretty much conquered everything that made up the original main plane and the repopulation program was in full force in the already conquered areas. 

The players had long escaped to the new territories and had found many things that filled them withe excitement and hope. Their fear of Umbra had greatly reduced and many even had bloodshot eyes full of hatred, wishing to get revenge. 

The truly believed that with the advanced and powerful forces of the new ares, they could finally band together and give the greedy and wicked Umbra a heavy blow! 

However, hope was sweet and despair was bitter. When the initial defense force of the new territories gathered at the border to resist Umbra, they were decimated just as easily as all the places before causing millions of deaths and hundreds of players accounts to be reset to level 1. 

Many directly went crazy and began laughing with madness as they danced about, unable to accept their four years of hardwork being reduced to nothing in one blow simply because they made the wrong choice and decided to go against Umbra. 

Umbra did not give these fellows a second glance and greedily plundered the new territories. While they had all this stuff and better, what was the point of living if you didn't rob others of their rightful property? 

Not filled them with more excitement and joy than hearing the unwilling roars of their victims as they plundered everything they owned until they were left with only underwear to take home. 

Umbra continued to push forward with almost malicious glee, their eyes narrowing onto crescents as they watched their experience bars rise and reach the Boundary of Rank 7. They withdrew from the battlefield suddenly, causing the defenders to heave a sigh of relief and wonder what was going on. 

If they knew that the core members had retreated to the Rank 7 Guild Hall's Training Hall to raise their class ranks to the limit, they would probably scream and do everything they could to prevent it from happening, futile as it would be. 

They used this brief time to regroup and make new plans. Some suggested heading into the unmapped zones in order to eke out an ignoble existence while others simply offered to surrender, tired of taking this big fat L. 

However, whether it was the core members or the remaining players who made up the resistance, none of them could have expected things to switch up so suddenly that no one could react. A hidden terror that had been boding its time for a while had finally erupted, and it was here to exact its destined punishment!