Headed by a Snake

"Seven boys and one girl!" Rico happily gave her final count.

High-Captain Lang Hai crossed his arms, "Did you count yourself?"

"Seven boys and one girl and... and ONE RICO!!" Rico happily gave her final-final count. "Rico is a girl!"

"You knew he was a boy the *entire* time?" Lang Hai sighed. He wished he left Rico on the ship.

"Uh huh~! Smelled like a boyyyy~!" she sang happily.

"Not gonna ask," Hai shook his head.

"Boss!" Shield interrupted, dashing forward to intercept. In a brief moment, a flash of steel erupted from the white-haired boy's hand. Sharp clangs of metal rang out, lightning-fast sparks denting the metal block of steel Shield had strapped to his arm.

Hai furrowed his brows, seeing the dozens of bangs and dents left on his man's shield. Mana was present in the boy's speedy, accurate sword attacks. The sharpness of the mana with each strike could easily mince their flesh.

He felt a dull pain in his pistol hand. Lifting it up, a dagger was embedded accurately through the meat between his thumb and forefinger. The boy must have thrown it simultaneously with his attack. That hand would be useless for a while.

Unsticking the dagger, Hai yawned and stared at the boy through the gaping wound, "I dunno why you keep talking about this Couture guy, but whoever they are, I doubt I care."

Hammer gave a great roar, "No one attacks the Cap'n!"

The man wholly ignored the fact that the boy had *already* attacked. He looked ridiculous, dragging himself around on the floor with his arms and weapon. With the knife sticking out of his neck, it seemed he was paralyzed from the waist down.

"No one touches the Cap'n!" Hatchet cried out with her shrill, stupid, nasal voice, "He's still a virgin, you know!"

Hai's mouth twitched. That was blatantly uncalled for.

She dashed forward, swinging her hatchets around like a whirlwind of stupid.

The white-haired boy easily parried her handaxes with his short sword, concise, controlled, and not the least bit wasteful. Within the momentum of taking a heavy attack, he pivoted on the heel of his left foot and dropped his body weight.

With a fierce, lightning-fast kick, the boy took out Hatchet's left ankle, toppling her to the ground. The audible crunch made it apparent that her ankle was broken.

"Oh, snap! Miss Loretta fell down!" Rico gasped.

Hai didn't know why he bothered using codenames.

...Whatever.

Hai transferred his pistol to his left hand, aiming at the boy's chest, "'Bout time for you to stop being so difficult."

The loud and unmistakable sound of the fired pistol reverberated throughout the estate. Too late to dodge, the boy whipped his sword out in a desperate attempt to block the bullet.

Hai furrowed his brows. Who tries to block a bullet?

The bullet had grazed the edge of his blade, puncturing through the boy's shoulder and exiting the opposite side. Pink mist sprayed into the air and painted Shield's... shield.

The white-haired kid dropped to the floor, a small fountain of blood spilling from the wound. His blade clanged, scratched, and slid dramatically across the floor away from him.

"Oh, snap! The nice-smelling boy fell down too!" Rico gasped, with no less surprise in her voice than literally seconds earlier.

Hai briefly considered shooting Rico with his second pistol, but the price of a single bullet was not worth the possibility of the girl getting even dumber. He'd be more tempted if he had brain-bullets capable of killing her.

"GAHAHA! " Hammer guffawed as blood vigorously spurted from the knife-wound on his neck. He had recovered some semblance of control of his lower parts again-- crawling on his knees, as well as his hands, towards the fallen boy. "Not so tough are you now, GIRL?!!"

Hai glared, "Hammer, One: It's a boy.

"Two: You look stupid.

"And Three: Shut up."

Hammer quieted down, scowling. He crawled to the young boy, quietly muttering insults.

Lang Hai turned to Rico. The girl knew something... but if she realized that he wanted something from her, she'd ask for something stupid like to be fed more than twice a day or to sleep in a bed that actually fit her legs when she stretched.

High-Captain Lang Hai was responsible for an entire Sea Wolf fleet of (mostly seaworthy) ships. The Sea Wolves had nowhere near the monetary power of Fleet Admiral Chantal's Darktide Fleet or Commander Darro's Knights-Arcane. The Sea Wolf sect was not a wealthy sect like the Ivory Judge sect or the Glory sect or Frozen Asgard. He had to be frugal!

Hai gently scratched between Rico's shoulder blades... "Rico? Why exactly would you say the boy smells nice?"

The dirty-blonde girl began to... purr? Her eyes glazed over in thought, not even bothering to get rid of her goofy-looking canine smile, "He kinda smells like you..."

Rico's eyes shot wide open as she hopped up, "Cap'n! CAP'N!!"

What had gotten into this girl? "What is it, Rico?"

"Are you... BROTHERS?!"

Hai crossed his arms. "No, Rico. I don't have any siblings."

"Is he... IS HE YOUR SON?!"

"No, Rico-chan! Boss is a virgin!" Broken-ankled Hatchet crawled over to interrupt with her nasal arrogance, "That means he doesn't have any kids."

Lang Hai had a bottle of seawater on his person. Every crew member he'd brought to this raid had a high level of the Sea Wolf Body Art, allowing them to regenerate their wounds and broken bones with seawater. He decided that Hatchet would be getting none of it. She could drag herself back to the Elizabeth Dare along with Hammer.

Rico stared deeply into Hai's eyes, her face reddening as she actively utilized her brain. Hai decided to count to ten before stopping her. Any longer and he feared steam would literally come out of her ears...

Rico grinned widely, raising both hands above her head, "Cousin?!"

Hai shook his head, "No, Rico..."

...Hai's eyes opened wide, "Sea god's socks!! Hold on--"

Lang Hai looked over to where the fallen boy was. Hammer had finally finished spewing his insults. Sitting back on his knees and feet, he lifted his warhammer, intending to smash the boy's bones into paste.

Without further thought, Hai swiftly kicked the boy's sword back across the floor towards him.