Headed by a Snake

"N-nnn.... NON!!" Ravidius shook his head, returning to his senses, "Monsieur!! I am ze HOST!! And I will NYA'T be defeated in ZHIS BATTLE!!"

"And you have been MOST WELCOMING!!" Tycondrius shouted back, "On my honor, Hero Ravidius... as I represent my company as guests, our gratitude... CAN BE!!! NO!!! LESS!!!"

Ravidius pulled two slips of paper from the dimensional tear, "Two backstage passes to ze CIRCUS of ze SUN in Whitehearth!! ...You and ze Mademoiselle will have ze MOST PLEASANT EX-PERIENCE!!!!"

Tycon summoned a thick scroll tube, "A study guide to ILLUSIONS and CONCEALMENT spells!! This will afford you MOONS if not YEARS of quality training for your LOVELY DAUGHTER!!!"

"F-flame Eternal..." Elle's mouth was twitching, "Tychon... what is going on? Aren't we... gonna fight?"

"This *is* the fight," Tycon chided.

"But... but what about that stuff about not being able to leave with our lives?"

"Well, yes..." Tycon furrowed his brows, "With the honor of the host and guests at stake, either side left empty-handed would be considered rude, no?"

"I... I guess?" Elle pouted.

Tycon took a breath, putting on a stern face, "I need your help, my love. Hero Ravidius is not an opponent to be taken lightly."

"You've already lost, Monsieur. Nyohooh~" Ravidius chuckled as he waved a small leather pouch. "Take THIS!! Tea leaves cultivated in ze Tree God's PERSONAL SANC-TUA-RY!!"

"Urgh..." Tycon winced, "This gift... is really too expensive, Ravidius. We cannot accept this!"

"OhOhOhHH~" The Lionheart cackled, clutching at his chest, "Non-- nya't at all, Tycon. Ze Tree God-- he owes me zhis and several favors more. Take IT!!! For I have PLENTY TO SPARE! NYAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!"

"T-tychon," Elle grimaced as she lowered her voice... "Besides the fact that this is the single dumbest fight I've ever witnessed, I... I don't have anything on me. All I have are army rations..."

Tycon raised his eyebrows, "That... just might be able to turn the tide!"

He took Elle's hands and held them close, "Are you... willing, my love, to offer them as a gift?"

"Y-yes?" She took a hand back and reached into her bag, "But..."

"Do you trust me?"

"Of course, I do," She groaned... "with all my being."

Tycon took the rations and brandished his opportunistic weapon against the arrogant Lionheart.

"I'm sure you know what these are, Hero."

"Tyrion rations?" Ravidius raised a curious eyebrow, "Over my years of campaigning, I would be remiss to 'ave forgotten zhem."

Tycon grinned, savoring the words he could use to strike at a Hero heart.

"Indeed... and with Elle's gift, you can share those experiences... with Megara."

Ravidius took a step back, his hand clutching his chest... "ARGHHH!!! For... for zhis... I am TRULY GRATEFUL!!"

Elle pursed her lips... "I'm... I'm gonna go hang out with Coraline."

"Go ahead," Tycon nodded, "Ravidius and I will be... *conversing* for some time longer."

...

⟬ Dungeon Hot Springs, late evening. ⟭

Tycondrius swirled the wine in his wooden cup, taking in the sweet scent of tart green apple, minerals, and honey. Better still, the heat wafting up from the natural hot springs served to magnify the flavors.

"I'm quite envious of you, Brother-Ravidius..."

Ravidius shifted the hot towel covering his face to reveal an eye, "Are zher no heated springs in Charm, mon ami?"

"Hah. Quite the contrary," Tycon chuckled. "But I was referring to... this. Living here... peacefully. I daresay you've deserved it, considering your achievements as a Hero."

The long-legged Lionheart laid back, sinking his body into the water. Having deactivated his offensive enchantments, he had but a single golden-furred left arm, which he draped over the stones.

"Ze Dungeon is... an investment. However~ if you seek a Dungeon Core, I know of... at least one mad wizard, here in ze States..."

"And of course, I can gift you one of the islands of Charm, should you decide to relocate to the Free Nation," Tycon countered as he poured Ravidius' cup to full. "Of course, please contact me via ⌈Sending⌋ about a moon in advance to prepare the paperwork."

"Oho..." Ravidius smiled as he reached for his drink, "I shall strongly consider it. My Megara... she wishes to attend ze University in Arcanix..."

Tycon took a deep breath, thinking fondly of his own daughter, Sasarame, who was studying at the Basilica...

"Ah. Be advised... I'm certain that Miss Megara already meets the criteria for enrollment."

"She..." Ravidius sighed, "she does not yet know zhis. I wish... to teach her for some time longer. She is but a child..."

"Your daughter is... a willful young lady," Tycon smiled, "--whom your investiture of care is indisputable."

Ravidius lowered his chin... and swallowed... "Merci beaucoup... Thank you, friend."

Tycon nodded... then chuckled to himself at an errant thought.

"...Elle believes you might consider searching for a mate. I'm told a gentleman with so much love for their child is an attractive commodity."

"She dares..." The Lionheart grit his teeth, allowing a low growl to escape his lips... "I will... speak to her."

"For relationship advice?"

"Oui," Ravidius waved casually, "'Ow did you know?"

Tycon shrugged, stretching his body beneath the waters, "We understand each other quite well. It is a phenomenon I've been finding quite rare, as of late."

"We are... cut of ze same cloth, mon ami..." The Lionheart mused... "You know... of sacrifice and heroism, no less zhan I."

Tycon shut his eyes.

It was something he didn't want to believe... but Ravidius certainly had the reputation to say as such.

And concerning his reputation...

"Ravidius... have you heard... of the prophecy?" Tycon pursed his lips... "A certain... distasteful song."

"...I have," The Lionheart stared into the starry sky, sighing wistfully... "and I... am glad... zher are heroes strong enough in our Realm to face such a challenge."

Ravidius' response made his stance on the matter clear. He would not be assisting.

Tycon chuckled and shook his head, "In that case... I may... just have to be one of those unfortunate fools-- or perhaps I'd be a... sidekick, per se."

"I... would consider joining you... but I..." Ravidius sighed deeply, "I am not ze Hero I once was."

"Are you referring to the fact that you have one arm?" Tycon rolled his eyes.

"What? No. Ze enchanted prosthesis works fine. I can shoot burning green lasers out of my fingertips."

Huh. That was a magnificent trump card.

"Then... the fact that you used to be human?"

Ravidius furrowed his brows, "I am human, still, mon ami... just as you are."

",