I Woke Up Piloting the Strongest Starship, so I Became a Space Mercenary

Translator: SFBaka

“So it’s that, right? Elma’s all tsun-tsun but is actually head-over-heals in love with me!?”

“T-That’s not true! I-It’s nothing like that!”

“Elma-san, it’s not good to act all violent in order to hide your embarrassment you know.”

“That’s right. That’s exactly right.”

“U-Uuuuuuuu!”

Mimi squinted her eyes at the flustered Elma, who was holding her reddened ears and had steam blowing on top of her head.

“So what exactly happened? Rather, an elf and human being able to make babies is kinda neat. What about the differences in species and gene make up?”

Elves and humans do resemble each other to a point, so I guess it’s actually not so surprising that they are able to procreate. But even if there are similarities, both species have evolved independently on completely different planets, so they are basically alien to one another. If you think of it like that, our current situation is quite baffling, to say the least.

“We elves… Well… If we end up accepting a partner mentally… we would be able to… with that person… b-b-bay… g-get p-pregnant and give birth to……uuu!”

After speaking that far, Elma pressed her face against the surface of the table in the dining room while still hiding her ears. I see. I kinda understand now. Space elves are that sort huh. The kind who relies on instinct. Or maybe I should say they’re a people similar to those who leave their kids in the company of other races apart from themselves. What the heck is with these elves?

Don’t tell me there are also orcs, goblins, or tentacle monsters in the home planet of the space elves? Is it a sort of survival strategy that was developed from the need to leave progeny even when attacked by those other dangerous races? And a pure elf will be born through atavism along the way that will ensure the survival of the species…? So the main survival strategy for space elves is through hybridization and genetic contamination of other races? If that’s really the case, these space elves are seriously amazing – in various meanings.

“I sort of understand it now. Space elves sure are amazing.”

“I-Im extremely concerned about the part about us you claim to have understood……”

“Anyway, I’ve now confirmed that Elma really『luv, luv, luvs♡』me very much.”

“Gu- gah……uu—–!”

Elma snarled at me with a bright red face and trembling arms. What the heck is that? A fire engine imitation?

“Hiro-sama, making fun of her like that is also bad.”

“Kay. I’m really sorry. Sorry, Elma.”

I honestly apologized after Mimi scolded me as well. Mimi’s the youngest out of the three of us, but when she squints her eyes like that and scolds us, neither I nor Elma are able to go against her.

“I-It’s fine. I also went too far by raising my hand against you earlier.”

“But you know, I’m actually quite happy. To think that Elma feels for me this much. I also really like you, Elma. You’re reliable, you act really cute sometimes, and it feels comfortable just hanging out with you. It’s like we’re on the same wavelength or something……”

“R-R-Really?”

“Yeah. Honest.”

“H-Hmph…… W-Well, uh… I guess I also feel the same, maybe?”

Elma declared so with both hands joined in front of her chest as her fingers danced around each other in a fluster. She averted her gaze from mine with a bright red face. How cute.

“Okay then. Now that both of you have made up, get along from now on, alright?”

“Un, let’s get along.”

“T-That’s right……un.”

Elma and I nodded in agreement with a smiling Mimi.

“Now then, since you’ve already made up, let’s talk about today’s plans. First, we’ll visit Sierra Corporation’s artificial meat factory.”

“Oh, artificial meat. I’m really curious about how exactly they’re made.”

Artificial meat. It’s meat, but it’s white and not red. The texture is closer to beef or pork. It doesn’t feel like avian meat at all. It also doesn’t feel like fish. It’s meat from a completely unknown animal. But, as I said earlier, it’s white meat, not red. Its surface will become nice and brown if you get an auto-cooker to process it, making it resemble a regular steak. But when you cut it with a knife, the cross-section would still be white.

It’s that kind of mysterious meat, but it has a strong umami flavor, with plenty of fat. It’s very delicious. I’m thinking it’s a completely artificially synthesized based on its name – artificial meat. But I can’t even begin to imagine the actual production process.

“I’ve also never been to an artificial meat plant before.”

“It’s exciting, isn’t it? And the next stop after that is a hydroponic farm and the attached food processing plant.”

“Hydroponic farm, huh. I wonder what kind of things they are raising?”

“Isn’t it algae for use in food cartridges?”

“I’m looking forward to seeing that as well…… But since we’re going out of our way to make a sightseeing tour, doesn’t it feel like just walking around those places would be pretty dull?”

“Now that you mention it, that may be the case.”

“We’re scheduled to have our lunch in the food processing plant. It seems the food we can eat are all freshly made.”

“Well, okay. Just as long as it’s not ‘that stuff’.”

“It’s okay. It’s not ‘that stuff’. I made sure to check.”

Mimi responded with her eyes looking empty.

What we meant by ‘that stuff’ was the contents used in food cartridges. It seems that incomprehensible nutrient shake was considered as a kind of local delicacy(?) in this colony. The taste is…… kinda like slightly salty, room-temperature mousse or something…? It’s an eclectic mix of grassy and fishy odors. Needless to say, it wasn’t very tasty. It did fill you up though.

“That’s great. Shall we get going?”

“Yes, well… it may be best if we start preparing now, considering the travel time.”

“Okay then. Everybody get ready. Let’s meet up here at the dining room once we’re done.”

And roughly an hour afterward, we finally made it to our first destination.

“Well, what can I say? Riding that transport train wasn’t half bad.”

“The sudden brakes and accelerations take a bit of getting used to though.”

“It’s nothing compared to a starship’s acceleration and deceleration. It seems that some people get vehicle sickness from it though.”

We rode a transport train that made use of the underground freight delivery system to ferry people around the colony. The fare was very cheap and we were able to get to our destination very quickly, but the train car was narrow and relatively cramped.

The train car felt more like a cargo container that had seats forcibly installed within, and even if every passenger squeezed themselves together, the most it could fit was six people. There were only three of us, but it still felt somewhat cramped. If there were six people, it would definitely be like a can packed full with sardines.

I wasn’t able to see any scenery outside at all, but it was still a relatively enjoyable attraction for me.

“So this is the artificial meat processing factory…… huh?”

“Hm? What’s wrong?”

Elma, whose state seemed a bit weird, stared fixedly at something in front of her. It was the signboard of the factory.

“Sierra Corporation Cultured Meat Production Facility……?”

Is there anything off about it?

“Uh, I suddenly remembered I have some business to attend to. Please go ahead and enjoy the tour without me, you two.”

“Now just hold up a moment, lady.”

I turned around and tightly grasped Elma’s shoulders. Why did she have such a reaction just after seeing the signboard? I don’t see anything suspicious about it though.

“Cultured meat? So it isn’t artificial meat?”

Mimi tilted her head. Cultured meat? Hey, it really is written as cultured meat. So it’s different from artificial meat?

“Elma?”

“I really don’t want to go inside, you two.”

“But I’ve already made reservations for the three of us? It’s going to start soon too.”

“Fumu? Oh well. I’ll drag her along.”

“Nonononononono……”

I dragged the panicking Elma inside the factory premises. After getting past the front gate, we headed for the reception lobby and were welcomed by an unhealthy-looking man with a really lean build.

When he saw the three of us…… a wide smile bloomed on his wan-looking face. Scary.

“Welcome, everyone. You’re the tour group led by Hiro-sama, are you not?”

“Ah, yes.”

“We thank you for choosing our humble facility for a sightseeing tour. Oh heavens…… It’s really been such a long time since the last ones came for a tour. The staff is really fired up.”

“I-Is that so?”

His mouth was all smiles but his eyes were scary. I don’t feel any malice from him, but… How should I say this? Yeah, it feels like he’s really enjoying himself. His eyes were giving off a bright gleam as if he was a hunter aiming for hapless prey…… No, that’s not right either. It was something akin to a child getting a hold of a new toy to play with…… Is it just my imagination?

“Now then folks, the route is that way. Please follow the navigation and advance ahead!”

The man pointed towards an automated door that opened up before us. Hm, there’s supposed to be nothing too surprising about it. It’s only an automated door. But why the heck is it built so sturdily? It’s like a safe of something.

“Let’s go, Hiro-sama!”

Mimi looked quite excited. Did she fail to notice the man’s suspicious behavior? She pulled my hand and seemed like she would run through the passageway ahead of us at any moment.

“I-I would like to refrain from going after all……”

“Keep dreaming…… I won’t let you escape by yourself……”

“Wai-!? You’re really gonna force me!? Stop dragging me!”

I pulled Elma’s arm while Mimi pulled on my own, and the three of us entered the opened door. It seemed dangerous for some reason, so I can’t let Mimi go by herself. And I definitely won’t let Elma escape either. Fufufu… When we go down, we’ll go down together……!

After we entered the passageway beyond the door, the said door locked itself shut.

『We will now proceed to sterilize you in order to maintain the hygiene standards of the facility. Once the process is completed, please advance to the next room.』

An electronic voice echoed out instructions, and white smoke flowed into the room. This should be part of the sterilization process.

『Sterilization has been completed. Please proceed to the next room.』

Another door opened up ahead of us. It led to a smaller room. It didn’t have any windows, and apparently didn’t have any other doors leading out of it either.

“What’s that room?”

“Un? I can’t see any other doors inside.”

I acted cautiously while Mimi tilted her head in puzzlement. Elma sighed while displaying a resigned expression.

“You’re so gonna regret this……”

Right when Elma declared so after we entered the small room, the door leading to it also closed and locked all three of us in. The room then started to shake.

“Is this room moving?”

The moment I muttered my question, a voice echoed out from above us.

『Thank you for participating in the tour of Sierra Corporation’s cultured meat production plant today. The room you’re in is actually a gondola that will carry you as we go on with the tour.』

“So this room is actually a form of transport.”

“It doesn’t even have any chairs inside though.

I suddenly had the urge to check the laser gun strapped to my waist. I just can’t calm down for some reason.

『The cultured meat produced by our facility has been loved by customers for three hundred years already. It is vastly different in quality and taste from your ordinary artificial meat, and the customer repeat rate is a whopping 93%! In this tour, you will be able to see the entire production process: from the initial culturing phase, growth phase, processing phase, all the way to the final shipping phase. Please enjoy the tour, everyone.』

“Is artificial meat and cultured meat different?”

“It seems so?”

Mimi tilted her head again. Elma curled herself up in a corner of the room, closed her eyes and completely severed all visual information. Eh? What the heck? I have a really bad feeling about this.

『First, please take a look at the initial culturing phase.』

The walls of the room became transparent. The outside scenery really looked like a proper factory. Transparent containers are shuffled along a conveyor belt, and several types of liquid are injected inside them by machines. The containers which have been injected with the fluids appear to be collected into one place and then stored in some devices which looked similar to incubators.

“I wonder what’s in those boxes?”

“I have no idea.”

Mimi, who was still tilting her head curiously, pointed at one incubator-like device with a container in it, but I also didn’t have any idea about what exactly was going on.

As the room slash gondola moved on ahead, we would probably get to see the contents of the containers which have been incubated for some time already.

“Hieee……!”

“T-Tha-!? What the heck is that……?”

We finally got to see exactly what was inside those containers. It looked similar to an earthworm. It’s practically a long string of wriggling meat. It got so long that it coiled itself several times around the incubator housing it.

“I now have an idea what my bad feeling earlier was all about.”

“Y-You’re not saying the cultured meat is actually……”

The gondola finally left the area with the incubators as Mimi and I looked on behind us.

“That’s why I said you’d regret it.”

Elma’s words echoed inside the silent gondola.

“Thank you for coming, dear guests. Thank you very much for coming. We hope for your continued support of our high-quality cultured meat products.”

The three of us left the cultured meat producing plant as the male staff from before sent us off with a sticky-looking smile.

“Ulp……”

“I p-probably won’t be able to even look at meat for a while……”

“That’s why I said I didn’t wanna go……!”

What else did we see inside the facility? I don’t wanna remember! Something like a pool filled with flesh-colored tentacles, or a mass of wriggling flesh that grew large enough to rival a train being cut up into processed cultured meat…… Urgh. I hardly even remember the tour guide’s explanations, but it seems those gigantic flesh worms are treated normally as livestock, just like cows or pigs.

They were genetically modified in order to be more suitable as a source of meat products, and the end result is that kind of eldritch abomination. They grow extremely quickly, have high nutritional value, and produce high-quality meat. They have no form of actual intelligence and seem to be creatures that feed and grow only by instinct.

“I really don’t get the purpose of touring such a facility……”

“It certainly doesn’t help one’s appetite……”

“That’s why I didn’t want to go through with it, you two…… The next one’s a hydroponic farm, right…? I sure hope it’s a proper facility this time……”

We prepared ourselves mentally and headed for the location of our next tour with heavy steps.

Just please let the next place be decent.