I'm Not Going to Be Bullied By a Girl

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“Ren, Auntie Ren, you’re incredible...”

I was at a loss of words due to my meager vocabulary.

Auntie Ren was a bit surprised: “Do you know me? Where did you hear my surname from?”

So Auntie Ren actually didn’t recognize who I was? Why did you just stop a random passer-by to let him punch and kick?

“I, I usually like to read movie magazines. I have seen your photos in some of those reports. I know that you are a very incredible martial arts director, hehe, that’s it...”

I will definitely be exposed in the future, but I had no other choice. I wasn’t ready to formally talk with Auntie Ren.

“Oh, then it’s easier if you already know who I am...”

Auntie took out another can of beer from her fanny pack, leaned back against the railing and started to drink.

Stop drinking! Do you want to practice the drunken fist? And I thought that your pack was loaded with martial arts tools, or martial arts clothes, but is it filled with beer?

“Kid, do you want to be an extra?”

“Eh?”

“Recently I’ve been filming a kungfu drama series with some Americans. We don’t have enough extras for the film. Come and help us!”

Isn’t this the “Magic Legend” movie starring Ai Mi? I don’t want to film with Ai Mi! Also, it would definitely be exposed that I pretended to be a stranger to follow Auntie Ren to film!

“No, no thanks, Auntie Ren, I still have things to do, I’ll be on my way...”

I said and turned around, intending to run.

“You dare!?” Auntie Ren screamed and my heart almost leapt out of my chest.

“Why, why do you want me to be an extra actor...”

I asked pitifully.

“No reason, I just don’t like those Americans. They have to rely on steel wire just to do a flip and still act big in front of the camera... It’s better to have extras who know kungfu!”

“But, as you’ve said previously, I’m an amateur, I don’t know kungfu!”

“But you should still be more experienced than them? Based on your running posture, the muscles on your upper body trained from exercise, you would look pretty good in shirtless scenes!”

Eh? Based on my running position, you can not only see where I was hurt, but also how much muscles I have? Why do I feel like I’m completely exposed in front of martial art elders!

“Auntie Ren, you’re really good at jokes, I would just be an extra, if I was the main focal point, wouldn’t that just be stealing scenes?”

“That’s right, I want you to steal scenes! Those stars should learn a bit of shame! They are almost the same age as you, yet because of their pampering, they won’t perform any moves that are just a bit difficult and I have to modify the moves on the spot!”

Although I’m happy to be of help to Auntie Ren, if I had to perform difficult acts like backflips while landing with one finger, I’ll rather not go and be laughed at by the Americans.

“Well, Auntie Ren, thank you for your kind intentions... I really don’t have a talent for acting. Can you let me go?”

Auntie Ren lifted the beer to her lips and made sucking sounds.

“Who said that you don’t have a talent for acting? Ye Lin, you’re playing the fool right in front of me, isn’t it pretty decent?”

Eh? So Auntie Ren already knew my identity? She was just joking and pranking me?

This is much worse than if I just admitted my identity beginning! I was worried about how Auntie Ren would scold me.

“Hmph, my daughter has liked you for so long, did you think that as a mother, I wouldn’t even confirm how you look?”

It seems that I have been exposed for a while and I don’t know when Auntie Ren observed me in secret.

I involuntarily lowered my head. If someone passed by, they would definitely think that it was an elder scolding the young.

Auntie Ren sighed.

“Unfortunately, my daughter is like me. When we fall in love, our IQ drops to 0. As someone who’s experienced it before, I can’t help but check on my daughter.”

She said as she measured me up and down.

“Kid, your face became crippled!”

I can only smile bitterly in response to such blunt words.

“I used to give you candy before? I remember you were pretty cute when you were a child, and it’s not like your dad fed you Sanlu, how did you turn out like this?”

How should I respond? I would say that I blame your daughter. She bullied me so badly that I was filled with resentment and swore revenge. In the end, I was reborn with the feelings in my heart and that’s why I turned out with this ferocious appearance?

It’s impossible to say! The Little Tyrant did not bully me in front of her mother, and I did not tell her mother because of my self-respect as a man. I was able to hold back in tattle telling when I was 6 or 7 years old. But now that I’m in middle school, would I tell Auntie Ren about these stories?

No, Auntie Ren, just take it that I had genetic mutations.

“Hmph, your legs are really short.”

Eh? How can you mention my insecurities right in front of me! Auntie Ren, you went overboard! It was hard for me to convince myself that my legs weren’t particularly short, why did you remind me again!

“I guess you got it from your dad? Although you guys aren’t short, you both have short legs... Oh right, did your father go back to teach?”

“No, no...”

I replied, a bit ashamed.

“How useless! He was a private tutor for a while, then he probably gave up as a teacher, right? What’s he doing now? I heard that he opened a strange shop selling dubious products?”

Not only is it dubious! If those things were placed on the street, they would all be confiscated by the police on charges of indecency!

“Wasn’t it just a failed marriage? He can’t stand up after only one blow. If he didn’t have a son, I really doubt whether or not he has any balls!”

Hey hey, Auntie Ren, although dad is disappointing even in my eyes, you should not doubt whether or not he is a man!

“He let himself go, and he definitely failed at educating you! The father and son are a pair of waste, I get angry when I look at you!”

“Auntie Ren, you can scold me, but don’t scold my dad, he doesn’t have it easy...”

In a hurry, I almost said that dad was a senior commentator for AV films. Every time he watched an AV film, he would write a heartfelt report, which was not easy.

“Shut up! If Xiao Qin didn’t like you, I wouldn’t care if you guys lived or died! He had such a useless son, giving me trouble. It’s a great honor that I’m not scolding him in his face!”

I couldn’t say anything in response to Auntie Ren’s reprimands.

With a slight gasp for breath, Auntie Ren asked again: “Ye Lin, what do you plan on doing with my daughter?”

“Uhh... we’re still young, we probably shouldn’t date?”

At this moment, I was grateful to the head teacher’s unyielding principles.

“Don’t try to half-ass it! Now you’re still young, but what about the future? What are you going to do in the future?”

It seems like Auntie Ren will not let me off the hook that easily.

I have never thought about the future, but I couldn’t answer under her sharp gaze.

“I, afterward... Xiao Qin might not like me as much as before?”

Auntie Ren’s complexion sank.

“I know my daughter’s personality very well. Be straight-forward, just say if you like her or not!”

“Eh? Ummm...” I made a difficult expression.

“You don’t like her? Then, do you hate her?”

“You can’t say that...” I was ambiguous.

“Kid, are you trying to say that you don’t even know if you like or hate my daughter?”

I hurriedly followed her statement. “Well, that sounds right...”

With a bang, Auntie Ren crushed the empty beer can she was holding in her hand.

She looked at me as if she was a lioness trying to protect her children from an attacking leopard.

“Ye Lin, if I stood to the side, a girl like Xiao Qin, will definitely be taken advantage of... I don’t want that kind of thing to happen!”

I nodded my head and later felt that it was wrong and started shaking my head again.

“I don’t care how open minded younger people are. In short, before you go to high school, you guys can at most kiss. If you pass that step, you’ll be responsible!”

Auntie Ren, I have to say that you are a bit too optimistic... In fact, we have not only kissed, but also french kissed, not only that, but it was when you went to take a bath, openly in your home.

“What are you looking at? Are you not satisfied?”

Auntie Ren, who consecutively drank two cans of beer, had a bit of a red eye.

“No, I am not dissatisfied... But Auntie Ren, sometimes Xiao Qin is very scary, I’m always passive! Some things are out of my control!”

Auntie Ren could also imagine what brainless acts her daughter would do, she was stunned for a while before she slowly said:

“I’m not completely unreasonable. If it was Xiao Qin’s fault, I will close one eye, but I must warn you... If you dare knock her up......”

The beer can that was already crushed to an extent where the average person would believe it couldn’t be crushed anymore, started to screech. In the palm of Auntie Ren, it was compressed into a metal chip even smaller than a CPU.

Auntie Ren threw the metal block into the trash can like it was a concealed weapon, while lightly saying:

“At the time, that would seal the fate of your dad’s balls.”

Eh? Even if I had a nuclear bomb-level tragedy that made Xiao Qin pregnant, I should be the one punished, what does it have to do with my dad’s balls?

“Do you think I don’t want to crush your balls? When that time comes, Xiao Qin will definitely protect you, so I’ll have your father accept your punishment!”