I'm Not Going to Be Bullied By a Girl

“You’re the worst.” Ai Mi angrily flung her towel on the ground and stamped on it.

“You’re clearly fine, but you feigned death to scare me.”

I already said I was fine, you were the one who thought I was about to die.

Ai Mi’s face gradually turned as red as an apple. Her body temperature was raising high to a point where she could practically steam dry her wet dress.

“And... I was lying when I said you could kiss my breasts. You can’t take advantage of me by deceiving me.”

“I got it.” I said, “I won’t covet your body... but, you weren’t lying when you cried out of concern for me, right?”

Ai Mi stayed quiet for two to three minutes before shouting out loud:

“I wasn’t crying because I was worried about you, did you already forget I’m afraid of lighting? I could hear the sound of thunder before the tree collapsed... that’s what made me cry.”

I knew Ai Mi wasn’t being frank, but I still accepted her makeshift excuse and replied:

“Okay, okay, I know you don’t even care about the lives of your subordinates. You probably wouldn’t even shed a single tear even if both Peng TouSi and I died.”

Peng TouSi and I looked at each other and smiled, then I shuddered because I felt it was a bad omen to be aligned in thought with a homo like him.

“You guys won’t die.” Ai Mi said stubbornly, “You guys are like cockroaches and would even survive a nuclear war. At the time, you guys have to protect me and you can’t lose to the zombies!”

A post-apocalyptic era, the same setting as Fist of the North Star?

As Peng TouSi and I escort Ai Mi and step onto the barren lands vaporized by nuclear weapons, will there also be an enigmatic narrator reading out some strange opening lines?

For example:

“In 20XX, the entire world was enveloped by nuclear bombs and almost all living things became extinct, but the human race did not perish.”

“There’s a hidden assassination technique with over 2000 years of history known as Yin Yang Sanshou. It uses the sun and moon as a basis, and it can also bring out your maximum potential if you wear a pair of underwear on your head.”

“Tragedy continues to strike the Yin Yang Sanshou practitioner who only has one successor in every generation.”

“Peng TouSi is a huge man with over 70 different scars littered across his body. He was known as the boxing champion in the underground Russian boxing rings.”

“Ye Lin might not even be able to defeat Peng TouSi’s pinky, but he has good luck and knows how to act cute, that’s why he became the successor of gramps’ Yin Yan Sanshou techniques.”

“Tune in to find out what happens to these two who will be swept up by a multitude of battles...”

These narrators should just drop dead. Why did I imagine it being spoken in the voice of Kyle’s old translator, is it because he likes this kind of stuff?

After confirming I wouldn’t drop dead, Ai Mi went to take an hour long hot water bath. Peng TouSi and I could only use the single person standing shower to quickly rinse off with some warm water.

“The RV has limited resources, so I get priority.” Ai Mi declared shamelessly, “You subordinates can just use my leftovers.”

She wore a pair of white pyjamas and blow dried her hair. Then, her belly began to growl so she ordered the chef to quickly prepare lunch.

Perhaps it was to override my insult of calling his food ‘okay’ from lunch, the French chef made an exceedingly decadent lunch.

There were butter sauteed mushrooms, escargot, foie gras, cream of asparagus soup, and many other appetizing dishes.

The French chef told us since the kitchen didn’t have truffles or caviar for the time being, the only famous french dish he could cook was foie gras and hoped we wouldn’t mind.

How could I mind? You’re currently sitting kneeled in front of us with a katana over your knees and your hair chest exposed. It looks like you’re planning on committing harakiri if one of us says it doesn’t taste good.

I don’t need that much psychological pressure when I’m eating a meal! I heard the katana was a souvenir from the time when you learned how to handle puffer fish from a Japanese master. Please don’t use a souvenir in this manner, otherwise it would be like he provided you with a murder weapon. Or did the Japanese master also teach you how to commit harakiri at the same time?

Obviously he affected the taste of the food by sitting next to us and threatening to commit suicide, but I could only say it tastes delicious.

I was soaked in the rain for a long time just like Ai Mi. I was fine, but it seems Ai Mi caught a bit of a cold as she kept on sneezing during the meal.

With some persuasion from Peng TouSi, Ai Mi decided to rest early to prevent actually getting pneumonia.

The streets were still backed up with water. After Peng TouSi dropped me off, Ai Mi coughed and used her eyes to bid farewell as I got off.

“I’ll visit a later day.” I promised and watched the RV ride away on the waves.

At home, I finished yesterday’s unfinished homework and used the computer to manage the online store for a while. Other than a few normal client inquiries, Shu Zhe sent me a message with his ‘Southland Red Berries’ account and urged me to quickly hand over the bikini or he can’t deliver the goods on time.

With his reminder, I also remembered the class leader promised to sew the buttons for my Qing Zi Academy uniform. So I got one of my dad’s old paper bags and placed the Qing Zi Academy uniform and the unopened bikini into the bag.

I planned on first handing the bikini to Shu Zhe, then the clothes to the class leader.

But I accidentally messed up the order.