I'm Not Going to Be Bullied By a Girl

Chapter 559: A Calculative Religion?

In order to convince the members, the professor kept listing various celebrities as examples. For example, saying Newton neglected food and sleep and only thought about scientific theories, so he became a great physicist. And Napoleon started out as infantry, but had great ambitions and finally became a war god, blah blah blah.

It’s fine for encouragement, but people will get suspicious if you make outlandish claims. Newton didn’t become a physicist by only thinking about things, he still did a lot of physical experiments. And Napoleon only became well known because he put his life on the line. He wouldn’t have achieved anything by only lying in bed and thinking about conquering the world.

What was irritating was Gong CaiCai who listened on with great interest. Every time the professor finished a sentence, Gong CaiCai always blinked as if it would enhance her memory and comprehension.

To be honest, I was open-minded about religion. It doesn’t matter what religion you believe in as long as it doesn’t harm anyone.

It’s just that my childhood education has made me an atheist, and it was unlikely for me to bow down to a deity.

I heard from my dad there was a joke church called “Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster” who believes the world was created by a pile of spaghetti when drunk, it seemed pretty entertaining.

In addition, I remember Eunuch Cao said that he intended to create a short skirt religion in the future, where the ultimate goal of the religion was to launch an armed coup, and make all girls of suitable ages where short skirts.

Of course, it was only limited to beautiful girls. In Eunuch Cao’s plan, ugly women had to wear burqas and weren’t allowed to show their face.

I used to think that I wouldn’t be particularly opposed to his cult if Eunuch Cao’s coup was successful, since the class leader would be forced to wear a super short skirt all day.

But evil cults were different. You have to stay away from the cults that brainwashes their members and controls them. Gong CaiCai was way too easily influenced by others.

“The law of attraction isn’t a secret, even our foreign friends have also made videos to promote it. But to truly understand it, you need to rely on the help of modern science and use a scientific point of view…”

I wanted to raise my hand and ask a few tricky questions to make things difficult for him, but I didn’t expect a high school-looking person in the front row to get ahead of me.

“Professor, I read about the law of attraction a few years ago, but when I applied it to myself, it didn’t work at all.”

“Oh.” The professor pushed his round lens glasses, “When you applied the law of attraction, what did you wish for.”

The high school student was a little embarrassed and said, “I wanted to date an older girl from school, so I followed the book and imagined myself with her. It was completely ineffective, she ended up dating someone else.”

“So, in addition to dreaming about being with her, did you take any other actions such as ask for a date or give her flowers?”

The high school student was even more ashamed, he bowed his head and said, “No, I’ve always only loved her in secret.”

“Then what’s the point.” The professor said angrily, “The core of the law of attraction is that your mind can influence reality. If you imagine it everyday, but you can’t even influence the nearest person, yourself. If you really implemented the law of attraction, then you will be able to overcome your shyness, increase your own charm, and create your own love story.”

“What, so I still have to put in work myself?” The high school student looked a little disappointed.

The professor sighed and said in a loud voice, “Everyone, please don’t misunderstand, the goal of the Happy Science Seminar is not to teach people ways to be lazy, but to teach a scientific way of management. No matter where in the world, lazy people are hopeless.”

“If you want to succeed and be happy, then you have to work non-stop in the right direction. The Happy Science Seminar is only responsible for guiding you in the right direction, but we won’t make your dreams come true for you.”

Eh, the professor’s words were quite reasonable and it instantly became like a simple inspirational lecture. Perhaps I misunderstood and this seminar was simply something to help others get over roadblocks in life.

Suddenly, I felt something at my feet, hitting my sneakers again and again with its hard shell.

I looked down, it turned out to be a palm-sized turtle. Wild turtles are extremely rare in the city, is this someone’s pet?

There were some words on the shell that said “Anyone who doesn’t believe and is in Happy Science Seminar is my child…”

I picked up the turtle with one hand and wanted to show Gong CaiCai the true face of the Happy Science cult.

I poked Gong CaiCai and she shuddered in fear. She turned her head and found me holding a turtle in my left hand, and the turtle’s head was shaking around restlessly.

“Ye, Ye Lin classmate actually likes to keep turtles as pets? This… isn’t a snapping turtle, right? One of my relative’s children was bitten by a snapping turtle…”

“No need to be afraid~~~” I pressed the turtle on the table and let her read the words on the back of the turtle.

Gong CaiCai read it carefully, ” Anyone in Happy Science Seminar is my child…”

Because I had to hold the turtle down with my hand to prevent it from crawling around, some words, “who doesn’t believe and is,” were blocked by my hand.

“Ye Lin classmate, why do you have to curse others…” Gong CaiCai confused slightly lowered her head, “I can also be considered to part of the Happy Science Seminar, so you’re saying that I’m also your…”

“No, I wasn’t referring to you.” I was so angry that I slammed the turtle on the table.

At this time, Teacher Hu saw the turtle in my hand and shushed me, then whispered:

“Ye Lin student, why do you have the professor’s pet?”

The professor’s pet? So he’s definitely not an upright person and this isn’t a normal seminar. I have to get Gong CaiCai out of here.

“Hmph, do you see what is written on the back of the turtle?” I changed the position I held the turtle, but found that the inscription on the turtle’s back was written with a water-based marker which had just been erased by me, so it had now officially become ” Anyone in Happy Science Seminar is my child”.

Teacher Hu said slightly angrily: “I thought since you were Cai Cai’s classmate, even if you do have a mean face, you should also be a polite person, but did not expect you to write this…”

“Ah, Da Vinci came over here.”

At some point, the professor had come up behind me and looked at his pet turtle that was in my hand.

I glared at the professor and asked, “The writing on the turtle’s back…”

The professor suddenly laughed out loud, “Isn’t it ‘ Anyone who doesn’t believe and is in Happy Science Seminar is my child’? That was written by the assistant professor, who foolishly thought this approach could show ‘miracles’ because he used to be a higher up in an evil cult, even though I already criticized him many times.”

So he didn’t intend to hide the words on the turtle or the words evil cult? He even poached a higher up of an evil cult, so this cult would be the evilest cult of all evil cults.

“Young man, and these two friends who came with you.” The professor took the turtle from me and said with a kind face, “Since Da Vinci crawled to you, it means we have some fate. Why not take this opportunity, after the lecture is over, let me teach you guys a deeper understanding of how the law of attraction works.”

“How deep?” I was still very alert and subconsciously made a posture to protect Gong CaiCai.

The professor smiled rather mysteriously, “The greatest achievement of the Happy Science Seminar is not the discovery of the law of attraction, but the development of a series of advanced computer programs that can calculate and simulate the law of attraction. Then through the interpretation of professionals like me, it is possible to predict your future to a certain extent.”

Predicting the future, now it’s sounding like an evil cult. What advanced computer programs, it’s basically “computer fortune telling”. Watch me as I poke holes in your tricks.

“The professor is actually going to give them a demonstration of ‘Causality Calculation’!” A more familiar member exclaimed, “I heard that that program runs on the country’s super computers, the amount of computing and power consumption is so great that the average person can’t afford to pay for its use.”

“It’s really lucky they got a free trial.” Another person complained, “I came to every class, but they only gave me a shallow prediction once.”

“Shallow predictions aren’t easy, were the results accurate?”

“Yeah, it was quite accurate. It was even able to tell which bank I kept my money at, no wonder it’s a religion of science.”