Keyboard Immortal

Chapter 2023: Good Guy Card

Suddenly, Zu An sensed something and took out a jade strip. A soft light shone intermittently from it. It was the communication jade strip he had made, and the light meant he received a message.

He opened it up and saw a pretty portrait flashing. It was Bi Linglong’s profile picture. She wasn’t dressed in her crown princess or empress ceremonial outfits, but rather a soft silk dress. There wasn’t as much of her usual dignified appearance, instead, there was more of a relaxed, personable feeling to it.

Zu An couldn't help but smile. He was still fiddling with the selfie function himself, but she had already figured it out.

“Ah Zu, is my new profile picture pretty?”

“It is~” Zu An wrote on the jade strip. The characters turned into specks of light that entered the strip.

He and Shen Xuzi had modified the jade strip earlier, but they just couldn't figure out how to make it send messages in real time. Sometimes, it worked normally, but more often than not, one just couldn't receive any messages. They just couldn't figure out what was going on there.

“Ah! I actually got in touch with you! I thought that you wouldn’t receive my message," Bi Linglong replied. Zu An could sense how happy she was even through just the text. She continued, “Then do you think I’m prettier like this, or am I prettier in my empress dress? Or maybe my crown princess clothes?”

“You’re pretty no matter what you wear.”

“Tsk, you don’t have a shred of sincerity. You have to pick one! Which one is the prettiest?”

“Actually, you’re prettiest when you aren’t wearing anything.”

“You’re so annoying~”

A while later, Bi Linglong sent another message. “Ah Zu, why don’t you have a profile picture yet?”

“I haven’t had time yet, and I felt that there was no real need for one.”

“Of course you have to! I miss you, you know?”

Zu An immediately felt warm inside when he saw that message. His earlier gloominess was completely swept away. The past was already long gone; he had to cherish the people right in front of him.

“Take one for me right now, can you? Right, take a picture of your surroundings too.”

Zu An looked at the sleeping Zhang Zitong and immediately began to sweat.

Feelings have to be constantly checked on...

Back then, he had only installed the picture function in order to have a better chatting experience.

Yeah, I definitely can't create a video call feature. Otherwise, I’ll constantly be checked in on. That would be the same as crushing my own foot...

“The surroundings seem pretty nice. Why do I feel as if your arrangement is the work of a woman?”

Zu An was speechless.

The sixth sense of women really is too terrifying... I never expected she would even notice something like this.

“I’m in the Devil Sect,” Zu An said, then gave her a rough summary of what had happened.

“I didn’t expect the monsters to have entered the Devil Sect... Who knows how many people have already sided with them in the world? But let’s talk about these proper affairs in person later. I don’t want to let this precious time be disturbed by these kinds of things.”

Zu An felt a bit helpless in this situation. He exclaimed, "Is this not important enough?!”

“Of course not. Chatting with you is more important. For example, what do you think about my new name?”

Bi Linglong changed her name to ‘Azuki Bean Linglong’.[1]

Zu An was dumbfounded. She had actually taught herself how to make an online username? He knew it was from the poem that he gifted her in the past, and the next line was ‘a yearning from deep within the bones, do you know it?’. She was clearly using it as a way to express her longing.

“I miss you too,” Zu An replied. As he wrote those words, he immediately felt really warm and comfortable.

“Then you have to change your name to match.”

Zu An was stunned.

Are you kidding me? If I change my name to that, how will I explain myself when the other women see it?

He had just survived a terrible battle between women; he really didn’t want to create another huge disaster.

“Hm? Why can’t I see your messages anymore? Did you go offline again? It seems the communication jade strip still isn't perfect.”

Meanwhile, Bi Linglong was lying on the bed with her hand on her chin and a sweet smile on her face. When she saw that message, however, her smile immediately froze.

“Hm? Offline? I can clearly still see your messages though.”

“Ah Zu?”

“Ugh, this shoddy jade strip. Why did you go offline at a time like this?”

...

When he saw the flood of messages, Zu An wiped the cold sweat off his face. In that instant, he felt that the unreliability of the jade strip wasn't necessarily such a bad thing anymore.

Suddenly, a profile pic of a young lady dressed in a really short leather miniskirt flickered onto the strip, with the profile name ‘Wei Wu's Whip’.

Zu An was stunned.

“Brother-in-law, brother-in-law! I had another fight with Youzhao recently and beat her until she begged for forgiveness!” Chu Huanzhao said excitedly.

“You’re probably the one who got beaten up badly by her, right?” Zu An remarked skeptically. After all, Huanzhao was known for being a cultivation idiot. There was no way that her cultivation could compare to Youzhao’s.

“Tsk, no way. After you helped me increase my cultivation aptitude, I feel as if I’m crossing a thousand miles each day. Isn’t beating up that kid Youzhao easy enough?”

Even though he couldn't see what she looked like right now, Zu An could clearly picture the proud look on her face.

“You’re that amazing?!” Zu An repplied happily. That was a good thing too, after all. With some competition, they’d help each other grow stronger.

After a pause, he added, “By the way, why do you have that stupid name?”

“Is it stupid? In the past, you told me that there was an emperor named Wei Wu you admired, who used a whip. I use a whip too, so I used his name. I feel as if it will make me look more impressive and make my cultivation better.” L1teraryHub hosted the first appearance of this chapter at N0vel.B1n.

Zu An was speechless. How could this silly girl know that those two whips were completely different concepts? However, he couldn't really explain it to her either, and could only say with a darkened expression, “Just change it. A woman having this name doesn’t sound great.”

“If brother-in-law doesn’t like it, I’ll change it.”

Then, 'Wei Wu’s Whip' was changed to 'Please Whip Me, Brother-in-law'.

Zu An was speechless.

Am I the weird one here, or is this young lady the weird one?

“Brother-in-law, you whipped me really badly back then. I’ll never forget that beating for the rest of my life.”

“Change it, or else it’ll be hard for you to explain yourself if your mother and sisters see this name.”

“Don’t worry, no one will see it. Mom said she wanted to look at my jade strip, but I didn’t give it to her. We all know how badly she wants it!”

Zu An was speechless.

“Right, brother-in-law, in the future, whether it's me or Youzhao, if anyone’s tone is a bit different, it might be mom secretly impersonating us. You can't tell her any of our secrets!”

“There’s no such thing to begin with anyway,” Zu An said with a scowl.

“For example, prodding me with that hard thing of yours back then, and how you touched every part of my body.”

“Stop, stop! The first one was because you deserved a beating back then, and the second one was when I helped you expand your meridians and aid in your cultivation. Why does it all sound so weird when you're the one saying it?”

“But I’m also telling the truth.”

...

Just then, another profile popped up, named ‘King of Thrusting Kings’.

When he saw the tall and slender, tan-skinned young lady in the picture, Zu An was really taken aback. Why were these women’s names getting worse and worse?

Now that he thought about it, back when he had first used the internet, he had made up a lot of names that he thought were cool and amazing, but now that he thought back to them, they were all incredibly cringy.

“Big brother Zu, are you there?” Murong Qinghe asked.

“What is it, little sister Qinghe?” Zu An replied.

“Oh, you're here! That’s great," Murong Qinghe sent before continuing.

"There was something bothering me and I didn’t have anyone else to talk to about it. In the end, I felt like I could only ask big brother Zu.”

Zu An was stunned. He really couldn’t figure out just what kind of trouble this young woman who acted like a little girl next to Youzhao, but was a tough and sturdy female warrior at all other times, had encountered. Besides that, she did have other womenfolk in the Murong clan. Why had she run all the way to him to talk to a grown man?

“What kind of trouble has little sister Qinghe encountered?” he asked curiously. Only after a long while did he receive a reply.

“I actually don’t know how to put it into words either, but when I thought about big brother Zu’s rich experience in romance, I wanted to consult you for advice.”

Zu An was speechless.

Are you praising me here, or cursing me?

“Big brother Zu should know about the situation between big brother Chu and me. Everyone already pretty much views us as a couple, and I like big brother Chu a lot too," Murong Qinghe explained, then continued.

“Still, even though big brother Chu is really good to me, I can still sense that he seems as if he's rejecting me me sometimes. It’s just hard for us to make any progress in our relationship. I've been wondering if maybe he doesn’t actually like me that much, and that's why things are like this.”

Zu An almost burst out laughing. So that was the situation. The answer was actually really simple, but he couldn't tell her.

Murong Qinghe sent another message. “Also, big brother Chu is working even harder than before. I thought our relationship would improve, but he only wants to compete with me and learn ways of beating his enemies. I really don’t know just what kind of person he sees me as now! Does he see me as a lover, or just a childhood sweetheart and little sister?”

“It might be that he has his own secret troubles,” Zu An replied. After some hesitation, he still decided to advise her, “Little sister Qinghe, there's actually no need for you to hang yourself to death on a single tree. Look around you. Who knows, you might find someone who is more suitable for you.”

In order for the Chu clan to pass down their noble title, they had to make Chu Youzhao the heir. That meant Youzhao had to publicly take in a wife to settle down. Making a woman who knew nothing about the truth go through that was a bit too cruel. After getting closer to Murong Qinghe, he really didn’t want her tender feelings to be turned in the wrong direction and ruin her lifetime of happiness.

However, who would have thought that after saying that, he wouldn’t receive a reply? Zu An almost thought that she had disconnected, but just then, he received a new message.

“Big brother Zu, I know that you’re really outstanding and that you’re much stronger than big brother Chu. But my heart already belongs to big brother Chu, and I really don’t have anything else to share with another person," Murong Qinghe sent, then continued.

“It’s a pity that the first one I met wasn’t you.”

Zu An was stunned. He had never expected that his advice would end up with him throwing himself under the bus!

She mysteriously received a good guy card, so she seems to have misunderstood and thought that I was hinting at something.

...

Meanwhile, inside the Murong manor, Murong Qinghe’s face was buried under her covers. She cried in embarrassment “Ahhh! Why did I have to send that message?!”

1. This is actually a line from a poem with the literal translation of 'exquisite dice, setting red beans at rest'. 'Linglong' means 'exquisite, detailed and fine'. The 'An' from 'Zu An' is also here through the word 'rest' ?