Lazy Dungeon Master

Teach Me Ontentoo-senpai

I can’t investigate anymore on my own.

It’s not exactly like I could ask Setsuna why she’s not worth any DP either.

So what should I do?

“Haah, so someone like that came eh?”

“Yeah. You don’t find it strange, Ontentoo?”

Answer: Ask a guide.

That’s why I decided to ask the Stupimander (Stupid Salamander), Ontentoo. It’d be easy to pay him back even if I owed him a favor. Neighbors are supposed to help each other out. It feels like it’s been a one-sided relationship so far though.

“There’s nothin’ strange about it. Kehma, you’re 0 DP too yeah?”

“No no, this person’s an adventurer you know?”

“Haaah? Kehma, you’re a human adventurer too aren’t ye?”

“I’m a Dungeon Master, it’s different.”

“Then isn’t that girl a Dungeon Master too?”

Hmm, that’s a good idea.

There’s a possibility that’s the case, but there’s other things I want to check first.

“Have you ever seen someone other than a Dungeon Master or a Dungeon Core being worth 0 DP? I thought you might know something since you’ve been doing this for a while.”

“Ah.. sorry, this is the first time I’ve seen this daily DP thing. Between you and me, most of our stuff comes from Tsuia Mountain’s Earth Vein. I don’t care much about intruder DP. I can tell about how strong they are though.”

Woah. Me knowing more than Ontentoo was outside of my expectations.

“Well, there’s a good chance that girl’s someone related to a dungeon. That said, there shouldn’t be some dog rabbit beastkin mix in the Dungeon Cores, maybe it’s she’s a Master…? Ah.”

Ontentoo stopped like he just remembered something and scratched his face with his foreleg.

“What? Don’t worry, just say it.”

“Nah, it’s just something 5-sama said a while back. Ye know about Core 4?”

“I saw Core 5 and Core 6 the other day, but I haven’t seen Core 4.”

“The heck’ve ye been doing? Ah, right. 695 got into some dispute. We even got some family name… did ye win?”

So that got conveyed to the Dungeon Cores that were unrelated to the Dungeon Battle as well, huh…? I took a second thinking about how to answer him, but decided to just say it since it’s not like I really need to hide it.

“Yeah, we won.”

“Kukuku, that so? As expected of someone who beat me. Setting aside the brats under 5-sama’s command, ye even beat Core 6 and 666 eh? Good, good.”

Ontentoo’s lizard face warped into a smile.

So Ontentoo calls the trivial trio brats?

“By the way, the family name was my suggestion.”

“Ye did eh? With that, it makes my name Ontentoo Labriheart? Cool yeah?”

His fire-clad lizard tail struck the ground in what looked like delight.

… Sorry, I should’ve thought up a better last name. Right now it’s just giving off a ‘lovely’ feeling when added to Ontentoo. [1]

“More importantly, what’s this about Core 4?”

“Ah, Core 4 is… well, that guy’s called ‘Chaos’.”

“Chaos… why’s that?”

“Who knows? However, doesn’t being a mix breed match chaos?”

“Ontentoo, have you seen Core 4?”

“No… never have. That one doesn’t go to the Dungeon Core Assembly… at least not since I’ve been born and that’s been what, four, five hundred years?”

Ontentoo, you’re so unsure of your age that you don’t even remember if you’re in your four hundreds or five hundreds? The Salamander’s paired up with a Dragon, so maybe his sense of time’s already gone fuzzy?

“Core 4’s rank is low for one with a single digit, rather, it’s beyond low considering the other single digits. Brats’ll ask about him when they pop up but no one pays much attention him at this point, same with me.”

“I see. By the way, do you happen to know what a thing called a ‘Toy’ is?”

“Toy? No clue.”

This guy’s useless. Well, setting that aside, I beckoned Ontentoo over.

Ontentoo bent forward and brought his ear—well, the part of his head he hear’s from—and leaned over the table.

I didn’t really need to do it like this since we’re the only two in the room, but it sets up the mood just right.

“… Would you like to help me with a bit of an experiment?”

“Sounds interesting? I don’t mind, but ye’ve gotta share the results yeah?”

“Obviously. You’re a big help, Neighbor-san.”

“If you’re lying, I’ll have you—eh, what’s the thing for times like that—eat a thousand needles?”

“The punishment that was introduced by God’s Vanguards was [Eat A Thousand Needles]. It might be different for Salamanders and Dragons since you guys can eat swords and iron, but normal humans would just die. In other words, it means they’re putting their life on the line.”

“Seriously? Humans are hardcore.”

“But there’s a loophole for that punishment. For example, there’s a fish called ‘porcupinefish’ that—” [2]

While having a brief chat about God’s Vanguards and deepening our relationship, we performed an experiment. I don’t want to bite into a porcupinefish either and it’s not like I want to hide the results, so I’ll just tell them to him.

As a result of the experiment in the Rokuko-made Feni garden area that had a door to [Fire Cavern], normal dungeon monsters were found to be worth a very small amount of DP.

For monsters with the authority to use the menu, it became 0 DP.

So I guess that’s why Chloe was 0 DP?

“Heeh. So that happens when ye make them able to use the menu eh? That’s enough, [Burning Fire].”

When Ontentoo said that, the fire spirit exhaled a puff of fire and returned.

By the way, it’s name, [Burning Fire], appears to mean ‘burning fire’ in Draconic. I’m hearing it like that because of Translation Function-san, so Redra’s probably the one that named it. It really does give the feeling of a plume of fire soaring into the sky though… Does that mean there kinds of fire that don’t burn for Dragons?

“That guy’s a cheap and easy-to-use guy for our dungeon.”

“Really… it’s a bit hot for our dungeon. Might be good to put in Feni’s area though.”

When I looked at the catalog, I saw [Fire Spirit: 400,000 DP]. Expensive.

“Aah? Ah, it’s about 200,000 for us. I’m a Salamander after all.”

“Now that you mention it, there was that, huh.”

… Or maybe it has something to do with them owning the majority of Tsuia Mountain?

Either way, the core, Ontentoo, is a Salamander, and his master, Redra, is a Red Dragon. Moreover, their dungeon’s located in a volcano, so it’s obvious that they’d be extremely specialized in fire. It’s natural that a Fire Spirit would be cheaper for them.

“Couldn’t you change your monsters to not have menu access to earn DP?”

“… That’d be no good. Even if that Fire Spirit from a bit ago didn’t have menu access, it’d just be 20 DP a day yeah? The efficiency loss isn’t worth it.”

“Yeah. Another thing I was thinking about was sending monsters to other places.”

With this, that’s one thing figured out.

It’s easy for monsters sent from one dungeon to another to be exposed. All the more if they have access to the menu since they’ll be worth 0 DP.

… Setsuna’s true identity is some dungeon’s monster that has access to the menu, huh?

At any rate, I now know the conditions for being worth 0 DP without being a core or master.

Should I try out getting them to a place with a Dummy Core using a pitfall trap or something?

Footnotes:

Lovely is a pun on the beginning of Labriheart. Laburi -> Lovely. Return

Note that porcupinefish = thousand needles in Japanese. Return