Lazy Dungeon Master

Fiance (Fake)

“This is…”

“Kuro’s Guild Card. By the way, as I’m D-Rank, she’s even better than me.”

I also showed him my D-Rank card.

“Mm? Kehma-dono, you aren’t B-Rank?”

“As you can see, I am D-Rank.”

“Hmm… is that real? You shouldn’t counterfeit those, Guild Card forgery is a serious felony you know?”

Von O’Doll said that as he looked at my Guild Card… eh?

What’s with his reaction?

Wouldn’t it be better for him to choose Meat as the fiance rather than me, a plebeian commoner? I showed him the card thinking he’d follow that route, but his reaction is like he knows that I also have a B-Rank card.

… Should I try feeling about?

“… Why do you think I’m B-Rank?”

“Your name is in the Raverio Empire’s aristocracy listing as a noble near Sia.”

What… the heck.

Seriously? There’s an aristocracy listing? No, there’d obviously be one, but I never thought that my rank could be found out by it.

… So him trying to force Mai O’Doll on me was exactly because he knew that I’m (kind of) a noble.

Rather, Haku-san, how far do your claws reach… no, maybe it wasn’t her? Was my name placed on the listing because I was registered as a B-Rank? That means it was an out the moment I got the B-Rank Guild Card.

“… Which means you knew that Kuro is a noble?”

“Well, yes. Her name is rather eye-catching.”

Yeah, seeing [Sex Slave (Meat)] in a high ranking list like that would be a bit surprising. As an aside, a man named that would hold the meaning of [Meat Shield (Meat)] from what I hear. [1]

“By the way, does that list include gender?”

“It does. It does, but… names are names. It might work if we went with saying that the listed gender is a mistake? Not even I thought that it would truly be a woman.”

Right? … I wonder if I should change names since it’s on there?

“By the way, the list gets renewed every five years. It only came out just recently.”

“Could you show me it?”

“Sure.”

A very large, thick, leather-covered and imposing book was brought out.

We’re listed among the newly added nobles? Nobles that have newly established houses… oh, Rokuko’s there too. Her family name’s Labriheart.

“There has never been an adventurer with the name of Meat becoming a noble before this. Virtually all of those named Meat are rankless slaves, and even those that register as adventurers would change their names. And even if they didn’t, any sensible record keeper would stop them when they became a noble… there wasn’t an inquiry?”

Haku-san isn’t sensible… no, I guess it’s more that she’s merciless.

As for me, I’m Kehma Golen.

It’s a very Golen Village’s Village Chief-like name. That’ll give me away. did I not give Haku-san my family name?

But it not being my real name—Masuda–is convenient. I can insist that Golen that isn’t me.

“Ah, so that’s it. I was surprised when you suddenly said I was B-Rank, but that’s not me. As you can see, I am a D-Rank adventurer, just Kehma.”

When I said that, Von O’Doll looked at me dubiously.

However, I never said that I was a noble.

“… Did you just go crazy? Didn’t you just admit to it a moment ago?”

“Huh? I was just checking out why you thought I was B-Rank. It’s true that there’s a noble family whose name matches that of my village, so I can’t blame you for connecting them to me.”

“That so… so Kehma-dono, you insist that you are a D-Rank adventurer?”

“Yes, it is as is written on the Guild Card. This card is a real one, I don’t have the courage in me to do something like forgery.”

You could even use a lie detection magic tool, my Guild Card is the real thing.

With that, Von O’Doll burst out laughing, unable to hold back.

“Kukuku, right. Sticking with it… You can hold your own even compared to nobles, Kehma-dono.”

“Thank you for the compliment.”

“Let’s go with your proposal and have Kuroinu-dono be the fiance.”

Oh? He said that he’d [Think] about it a moment ago, but he’s already decided?

Well, Meat’s definitely the better pick assuming I’m not a noble. She’s young, fit, and has an obedient personality. Other than her gender and slave status, there’s no shortcomings about her.

“Now then, my reward, please?”

“Mm, information about the [Godly Pillow] was it? Sure… The [Godly Pillow], a part of the [Godly Beddings], is an extremely important sacred object for our Raverio Empire. Everything I say after this will be between you and me.”

It’s amusing that beddings and sacred object overlap in meaning there… ah, but he probably wouldn’t know that huh? [2]

“Listen carefully as I’ll only say this once. The [Godly Pillow] exists and is something that each lord of the Sia family protects from generation to generation.”

…

Eh, so you mean it’s like that.

The [Godly Pillow] belongs to the Sia family?

“By the way, its management is not administered by the the feudal lord themselves. Neither the successor nor the successor candidate can touch the [Godly Pillow]. This includes their partners… do you understand?

The one managing it isn’t the feudal lord, Von O’Doll.

Same with his eldest son, the successor, and his second son, the spare.

Same goes with his spouse, which means…

“… Mai-sama… is the manager of the [Godly Pillow]…?”

“Mai’s fiance would fit the management criteria as well.”

… I see. So it’s basically him saying you need to become the formal fiance if you want to use the [Godly Pillow].

“In the name of the Sia family and White Goddess-sama, founder of the Raverio Empire, I swear that everything I said is true.”

“…!”

His oath was a guarantee of the Raverio Empire’s upper class nobility.

It’s meaning was that [If this is a lie, I wouldn’t complain even if Haku-san destroyed the Sia family and its conspirators]. Come to think of it, Haku-san did tell me [They all swear on me] as small talk at some point. Also, it appears that this oath has never been broken by anyone before.

“I could put my oath into writing if you want? I couldn’t write about the contents of our chat though.”

“Of course, I understand.”

I had him write it down just in case.

*

By Meat becoming her fiance, it was decided that we would stay one more day.

Meat will once again be introduced to her family, this time as the fiance.

I wrote another letter and had it sent to Golen Village.

Its contents were simply: [I passed becoming the fiance over to Meat].

I returned to the same room as last night. I have some free time until dinner, so I decided to get some rest.

Just then, Meat tugged at my clothes, holding my shirt tightly.

“… Goshujin-sama?”

“Nn? What’s wrong?”

“…”

Meat was trembling… what happened?

“… Oi, what’s wrong? Are you alright? Does your stomach hurt?”

“A-are you, getting rid, of me?”

Meat asked me in a strangled voice.

… Oh, so that’s how it sounded to her? That’s my bad.

“There’s no way I would part with my important hug pillow. We’ll just be lending your name for a while.”

“… Then I can keep… being Goshujin-sama’s slave, forever…?”

“You’ll be my hug pillow slave for as long as I live.”

She stopped trembling when I said that.

I know that it’s me saying it, but isn’t it a bad thing for me to treat her as a pillow slave her entire life?

Well, for now I decided to just take Meat as my hug pillow and have a nap.

“Kehma-sama! What happened!?”

… You could at least knock, Mai O’Doll.

Footnotes:

I feel like Keima mentioned this a long time ago. Return

Sacred Object = shingu = beddings Return