Lazy Dungeon Master-Novel

Oi, I heard you guys.

The heck? You’re planning on hunting rookies?

I was checking out the dungeon’s state of affairs for the first time in a while out of curiosity since it’s been a pretty long time since anyone had used the [Avarice Trap], but then there was a bunch of whispering going on. Curiosity got the best of me and I just started eavesdropping.

And then I heard their discussion about rookie hunting. Hahaha, too bad for you two.

They’re wanting to target Maidence, Shikina, and even Meat. Judging by what they were saying, they’re planning on doing stuff that’d need an R-18 tag on it. That’s a huge no-no for Rokuko and Meat’s education.

I happened to see Maidence say that she was wanting to become an adventurer like ‘Kuro-sama’ since she was her fiancée, so it appears that she’d decided on bringing Shikina and Meat as escorts to make a three-person party.

… I don’t think I would’ve bothered doing anything if they just chose people that had nothing to do with me, haha.

Maaaan those two are shit out of luck.

First off, they declared they’d be killing the village’s resident adventurers. Not only was that picking a fight with me as the village’s chief, but also with me as the dungeon’s master since it would take away from my regular DP income. That’s their first OUT.

I’d let them live if that was all. (I didn’t say I’d let them be uninjured.)

Next, among those they targeted was an aristocrat’s daughter who I’m keeping a watch over. That’d obviously bring more crap my way. Besides, they’re wanting to do it in the dungeon, they’re obviously intending to blame it on the dungeon right? You’re kidding me. With that, that’s two OUTS.

If that was all, I’d leave them their lives. (I didn’t say I wouldn’t make them prefer death.)

But what they really screwed up on was targeting Meat, my hug pillow. Guess I’ll have to have them die. Fufufu. Please repent, okay?

So because of all that, I decided to inform the guild.

… I mean, it’d be alright if I did it myself, but if a C-Rank who’d been properly collecting information about the dungeon just up and disappeared, that’d raise alarms.

For example, if they didn’t return after telling the guild something like how they’d just be checking around the safer parts today, that’d seem off.

It’s not like it would be too troublesome to wrap it all up myself, but letting the guild know to bury them in a legal sense is a lot easier.

So I decided to prepare by reporting that I got the feeling they’re trying to hunt rookies! It’s just their fault that the rookie they picked will be flipping the tables on them!

Proof won’t be needed! Because it’ll be from an accident in the dungeon!

Well, in short, I’m just laying the groundwork.

With all that, I went to the guild, leaned up against the counter and told the usual Receptionist-san we needed to have a word.

“… Which is how I wound up hearing them talk about hunting rookies, but what can we do? I think they’re aiming for Mai-sama and Shikina since they’re nobles, and I think that’d be a big problem~”

“Yes, I understand. How do you wish to handle it, then?”

“Eh? Ummm, we couldn’t go for capital punishment, could we? I mean since they’re repeat offenders and all…”

“Understood. I will leave taking care of them to you, Kehma-sama. I will prepare it so that those two adventurers’ assets will be frozen.”

“Eh?”

“I would like to use whatever they have stored within the guild as compensation for their victims’ bereaved families, so I would be thankful for any amount of information you can get from them. I understand that it isn’t your responsibility for that, though, so if you aren’t able to, you don’t need to worry about it.”

“Eh? Umm, excuse me—”

“… Is there a problem?”

Err, how should I put it? This is going way, way faster than I’d planned.

Is it alright for us to go on like this without her checking the facts? Doesn’t she think I’m lying at all?—Wait, maybe she was using a lie detecting magic took under the counter?

Even so, wouldn’t it be necessary for her to question them first?

“Umm, isn’t this going way too fast? Don’t you need evidence first or something?”

“No. Although you haven’t prepared any evidence, we have your testimony, am I correct?”

“Yeah.”

“Which allows for capital punishment to be allowed.”

“Yeah, well…”

“… …”

“… Eh? Wait, hold on, just by having my testimony?”

“Yes?”

Even if she was using a lie detecting magic tool under the counter, I still think she’d need confirmation or evidence. There’s even the possibility of me having made a mistake.

“… Would you prefer for me to explain?”

“Oh, yeah. Please.”

When I responded to Receptionist-san, she just sighed as though she really didn’t want to.

“First of all, Kehma-sama, you are the [Village Chief]. Putting it more directly, were you aware that as the person in charge of this village, you hold judicial authority here.”

“Yeah, well… you put it a bit harshly there…”

So it’s not that I don’t hold authority despite being a figurehead…?

“Having a village chief’s testimony is enough to close the trial immediately. So, as I, the person responsible for the guild side of things, have confirmed your judgment, all that is left is their execution.”

“Haaah, so that’s how it is?”

In other words: [Hey you, you’re going to die since the most influential person and the people in charge of you agreed on it.]

… The heck! This world takes lives so easily!

Well, this is a world where you can buy people for a single gold coin (around a million yen1), so that’s just the way it is here. I mean, Ichika was just fifty silver…

“Also, could I borrow your ear for a moment?”

“Eh? Okay.”

I lent her my ear to hear what she wanted to say confidentially.

Then, with a voice quiet enough to not be heard by others around us—

“… Kehma-sama, as an aristocrat, you could easily bestow punishment on your word alone if it’s simply for two common adventurers.”

… No waaay~!?

So that’s how it all actually went.

An [Aristocrat (Me)] decided to punish two common adventurers.

An [Aristocrat (Me)] recommended capital punishment. Furthermore, the [Chief Executive (Me)] proclaimed their sentence was appropriate.

Simultaneously, the [Judicial Authority (Me)] decided their sentence to be appropriate and confirmed its decision with the adventurer’s guild. As there were no contradictions or discrepancies between the testimonies given by an [Aristocrat (Me)], the [Chief Executive (Me)], and the [Judicial Authority (Me)], the person responsible for the adventurer’s guild deemed the judgment valid. The primary reasons being due to the testimonies given by the [Chief Executive (Me)] and an [Aristocrat (Me)].

The [Chief Executive (Me)] requested to carry out the punishment.

Now what follows is simply to carry it out.

Right. So as long as I out someone’s crime even if it wasn’t rookie hunting like this, so long as I don’t lie, they’re screwed?

Even a figurehead chief like me could be seen as an aristocrat dictator.

I definitely can’t just go and lightheartedly say someone should die… so this is power, huh? It’s scary!

“… Umm, why do you know I’m an aristocrat?”

“That is something I cannot answer due to a duty of confidentiality.”

Hmph. So was it Sally-san? Or maybe there was some story passing through this guild about it having a more reliable backing after the aristocrat listing was made? It could’ve been Haku-san herself doing something, too…

Wait, even if this is because of Haku-san, there’s not much of a reason for me to care about how she got her information, huh.

Well, me getting the guild’s cooperation is convenient.

… No way, was that last thing Sally-san mentioned meaning Receptionist-san?

Let’s be cautious.

“I am even aware about your two cards. You have many exceptions surrounding you, so please align yourself into being solely B-Rank as soon as you can. Have you taken the examination?”

“… Haah, I’ll consider it.”

I didn’t commit myself to it. I have no intention of publicly becoming a noble.

… Oh, but Meat showed her B-Rank card to the lord huh~. What should I do about that?

“By the way, about the rookie hunters, do you know what their modus operandi is?”

“Oh, if that’s all—”

I gave away their motus operandi. Well, that’s just a service for her.

… Now then, how am I going to go about disposing of them? I should get them to give up as much information about their victims as possible…