Lazy Dungeon Master-Novel

The Hero Has Come

In preparation for the dungeon’s transition phase that should have been going on, the entrance was being guarded. In truth, it was barren.

Be that as it may, only people related to the dungeon would know that. The adventurer guild very seriously constructed a barricade, and while putting a restriction at the dungeon’s entrance, conducted an investigation on the dungeon’s interior and prepared lookouts at its entrance.

Although there were people being rotated in and out, adventurers with enough skill to deal with any emergencies that may have occurred came to the inn to stay, so I was pretty happy about the income increase.

Well, I’ll be watching the entrance today as well with the C-Rank adventurer Gozoh. We’re pretty used to each other.

“So what changed… is that jellies are appearing now? Is that even something to worry about?”

“Kehma, even though monsters like jellies are normally left alone, isn’t it a pretty big deal that they’re suddenly appearing in the dungeon?”

“… Hey Gozoh. Is it alright for me to go and sleep?”

“No way Kehma, you’re only C-Rank at this dungeon. If the situation changes, your C-Rank might get canceled. Keep watch properly.”

Okay then~. But the tension feels overwhelmingly dull to me since I know what’s actually happening. I know that there’s no point to being so stressed out about it.

“Come to think of it, what happened to the smithy?”

“Kantra huh? I think he’ll have it up and running soon. Those eggshells he got from you are extremely rare materials after all.”

“… Ah, that so? I got those things from Haku-san originally though~”

Phoenix eggshells are super fireproof. Since it would’ve been troublesome if they asked me something like where I got them, I’ve already turned it into something that Haku-san did. Gozoh also seemed to understand it with, “An A-Rank adventurer… as expected eh.”

Ah, we also made an oven entirely out of eggshells for no reason. It has a uselessly good performance, so Kinue-san, a silky girl that loves housework, was delighted about it. She could roast meat to be juicy with just a little of the fire. It looked like it would’ve burned if she lost focus even once, but she was in high spirits about showing off her skills.

“Hmm, maybe I should make a kitchen knife to go with the fireplace? For Kinue-san’s personal use.”

“Oh? A present for the light green pretty Nee-chan huh!? I thought for sure that Kehma was only interested in little girls, but looks like you’re also properly interested in big ones too! Gahaha!”

That’s impolite. I have a foot fetish, but I’m not a lolicon. I do have a foot fetish though. I’m a proper gentlemen that doesn’t use the master authority to send stockings. Those three girls’ legs are all very delicious—… Ahem. Since they have good shapes to them, it would’ve become an emergency by now if I weren’t a gentleman you know.

“That Nee-chan cooks for the inn… maybe even Kantra’d get fired up about it if it becomes the kitchen knife of a cook that can make such delicious food.”

“Maybe. Ah, how much are kitchen knives? Wonder if I could buy one.”

“If you brought him an iron golem he’d probably make one with some left over. I’d help out too if you want? It’d be a favor. To be specific, please stock up on alcohol at the inn.”

“Why do you want to drink alcohol so much… there’re lots of problems with drunkards, I don’t want to keep an eye out for them at the inn. Have the guild build a bar.”

“Even if they built a bar starting now, I don’t know how long it’d take until I could drink. I don’t even know how many days it takes to build a bar to begin with ya know.”

“Ahh, so you want to have the mage that built the inn overnight to build a bar as well huh. It’d cost a lot of money though.”

“… Yeah, he built that extension before anyone noticed didn’t he? He’s one of [Cave of Desires]’ seven mysteries.”

What seven mysteries? This is the first time I’ve heard about that.

“Nn? You didn’t know? You’re also included, [The Adventurer That Stays Forever Despite Not Working].”

“Oi, what are the other five?”

“Other than [The Inn’s One-Night Extension] and [The Adventurer That Doesn’t Work], there’s [The Power Spot That an A-Rank Adventurer Likes], [The Little Girl Owner], [The Great Feeling Onsen], oh, and [The Illusory S-Rank Meal] as well as [The Hardworking Golems] I think?”

Aren’t the seven mysteries just everything that has to do with our inn? Rather, isn’t ‘the great feeling onsen’ just a normal impression and not a mystery?

“I mean Kehma, don’t you pay that young owner a lot of nighttime visits? There’s even a rumor going around that that young owner is your sugar momma.”

“Oi, don’t say something so scary, Haku-san would kill me. That’s not a fact at all!”

“Okay? But Kehma, you’re a man too, so doesn’t your desire build up?”

“Sorry, but I specialize in desiring sleep.”

In truth, ever since becoming a dungeon master, I haven’t really had many ero feelings. In particular I guess it’s been since Ichika joined us? Till that point I was having to desperately endure my cravings for Rokuko and Meat’s legs. Well, even now I stare at them though.

Now that I’ve subjugated that appetite as well, I’m sure that I must continue indulging in nothing but laziness.

“Ah, come to think of it, there’s that dog-eared Jou-chan too… so that’s why you’re so carefree?”

“Right, I don’t have to worry about anything since Meat’s there.”

I’m not some pervert that gets excited over a little girl being in front of me. Since Meat stands guard, I won’t do something like become a pervert. So I don’t have to worry.

“Well, isn’t the burden on that dog-eared Jou-chan pretty big though?”

“She pouts when we don’t sleep together, so I don’t think she doesn’t want to.”

“… That so, then it’s fine to sleep with her. Take good care of her yeah?” [1]

“Obviously.”

While having a conversation like that, we continued keeping watch out for monsters that definitely wouldn’t appear.

I’m pretty tired even though I’ve just been sitting on lookout. When our job was over, I went back to my room and immediately fell asleep. That kind of everyday life was repeated for a while.

Then, that finished today. Because we watched for an entire week without anything changing, they came to the conclusion that it should be safe. The restricted admission was also lifted.

“… Haah, with this I can finally take my time sleeping…”

I returned to my room at the inn. Surrendering myself to fatigue, I fell on my futon… Haaah, now to sleep.

Ah, [Cleanup] first… yep, magic is convenient.

“Kehma, I finished making my dungeon!”

“Oooh, can I sleep first?”

“… Between sleep and my dungeon, which is more important!?”

“Sleep… Sleep is!”

“Guh—, you didn’t have to say it twice you know!? Hmph, it’s alright, I’ll show it to you tomorrow. You’ll be surprised, definitely!”

Obviously, one of the three major desires of humans, the desire to sleep. Isn’t it natural that sleep would be more important?

Sleep! I’m going to sleeeep! Night…

*

The morning of the next day.

Bang! Rokuko vigorously entered through the door to my room.

“Kehma, wake up!”

“Morning? … Still time to sleep then… guh—”

“Humans wake up in the morning—wait, that’s not it! The hero’s here, the hero!”

“The hero? … Yep, understood, I’ll get up… Give me another five minutes…”

“Get up already! The hero’s coming here, right now he’s going to the adventurer guild then will be here right after!”

Rokuko vigorously beat me from over my covers. It doesn’t really hurt, but she’s noisy.

Guess there’s no choice but to get up huh… Looks like the hero’s coming.

“Fuaaaah, haaah~, can’t be helped. So, the hero huh. Let me see.”

I opened the map, looking into the adventurer guild’s branch office. When I checked out his DP income… around 1,000 DP per day. Isn’t the hero off by a digit there? I want him to stay for a long time despite wanting him to leave as soon as possible. That guy’s unfair.

“… So what now?”

“There’s nothing for us to do, when he comes to the inn, just do inn work as normal. The usual.”

I opened the monitor from the menu that was floating in the air to check out the hero’s appearance.

A man with short black hair. He looks Asian, might be Japanese. Summoned to this other world three years ago, he’s easily my senior at this… Whatever the case is, since he’d probably figure out that I’m Japanese just by looking at me, the fact I’m Japanese would probably be exposed if he saw me.

“By all means, I don’t want to meet him, so I’m going to sleep in my room. You’ll probably be fine just treating him like a normal adventurer… just say that we got the meal recipes and the ways to play with the cards from Haku-san after she’d heard about them from previous heroes, with Kinue-san preparing the food. That’s it, time to sleep. Rokuko, I’ll leave the rest to you.”

“U-understood. Basically as usual, right? Leave it to me!”

Rokuko left the room in a hurry… Good, time to go back to sleep.

Then, just as I started dozing back to sleep in my futon, Rokuko once again ran into my room with a bang.

“Kehma, it’s an emergency! The hero wants to lodge in the suite! And wants the A-Rank meal too!”

“… The suite was supposed to be for Haku-san’s personal use, but well there’s no reason for the inn to refuse him if he can pay the fees… As for the kid’s meal… Yeah, well it’s fine. Just serve it as normal.”

“Understood, but is it fine if we don’t eat together? That’s a limited service for Haku Ane-sama.”

“Nn, yeah~. Well, I’m not going to meet the hero since I’ll be sleeping in my room.”

Making sure that Rokuko left the room, I laid down on my bed again.

Then, just as I started to doze off in my futon, Rokuko yet again burst into my room with an even bigger bang.

“I-it’s an emergency, Kehma!”

“Oi, the door. Oi. You broke my door by kicking it. Now I have to fix it.”

“You can just fix it immediately anyway!”

“I can huh… so, what’s up? Did it turn into a situation you couldn’t deal with without me?”

When I asked Rokuko that as I left my futon to fix the door, Rokuko’s face blushed red as she recalled it. While looking down at her inner thighs—while looking down restlessly, she spoke.

“The hero… p-p-p-p-p-proposed to me! W-what should I do, Kehma!?”

Footnotes:

It probably doesn’t need to be said, but this ‘sleep’ has a sexual connotation to it.