Letting My Brother's Best Friend Take My V-Card

HOPE

JESS

The bathroom floor was cold against my knees as | knelt there, clutching the toilet bowl, my whole body

trembling as | emptied what little was left in my stomach. | felt hollow, both inside and out. It had been a week

since Luke and Josh's flight

disappeared, and every minute since had been a cocktail of terror, helplessness, and a strange, bitter hope that

gnawed at the edges of my mind.

I rinsed my mouth, feeling the sting of acid on my tongue as splashed water on my face. The mirror's glass was

fogged from the humidity, obscuring my reflection-

a small blessing. | didn't want to see myself like this, barely holding it together. Laura was finally asleep in the

other room, her breathing soft and shallow in the darkness, and | couldn't bear to add my own despair to hers.

Every morning since we arrived in Jakarta, we'd sat at the edge of whatever seat or bed we could find, phones in

hand, waiting for a notification. We clung to each tidbit of information, no matter how small: a few planes had

landed on the surrounding islands, swith pas their jet-the hope fizzled out. Nothing had cin, and the

days without answers were stretching so long they felt like a cruel dream.

| needed a cold shower to clear my head and rinse away the shadows clinging to me. As | stepped under the

spray, the water

HOPE

felt like tiny needles on my skin, sharp enough to keeptethered and pullback from the edge. | tilted my

head back, letting it run over my face, my neck, and down to my shoulders, each drop like a reminder of

something solid, something real.

| closed my eyes, clasped my hands together, and like every other morning, | whispered a prayer. | didn't care if

it sounded desperate or foolish. "Please let them be okay. Please." The words leftbarely above a breath, but

they felt like they cost everything | had.

As | stood there, | felt the tears start to prick at the corners of my eyes. The water mixed with them, carrying

them away as fast as they fell. It was easier that way, letting the water mask what | couldn't afford to show-

not to Laura or myself. Because if | broke down now if both of us lost hope, then that was it. The end. We'd go

home, and our lives would change forever, carrying this hollow ache with us, a black hole where our memories of

them should have been.

| thought of Luke's voice, the way he used to teaseuntil | cracked a smile, no matter how hard | tried not to.

His smile, that half-

smirk of his that always seemed to say, | know something you don't. | could almost feel the warmth of his hand

around mine, the strength in his grip when he pulledout of whatever mess I'd managed to stumble into. |

didn't realize until now how much I'd depended on h Josh, too-I could see his carefree grin, that dumb sense of

humor that made everything feel lighter like the world was just sgame, and he'd figured out how to play it.

He was my twin, my other half, and even though Luke is my completion, 288 Woucherg

Josh is a small part of me, too.

| shut off the shower, the silence that followed almost deafening, punctuated only by my shaky breaths. I dried

off slowly, the motions mechanical and robotic, as though spart ofwas already giving up, already

surrendering to the worst. But | wouldn't. | couldn't. | ne Wrapping the towel around myself, | stepped out into

the dim light of the hotel room. Laura was curled up on her side, her breathing even, her face so pale it was

almost translucent in the early morning glow. Her eyes were puffy from crying, her cheeks still marked with fain |

knew she was barely holding on and counting onto be the strong one, to keep that last thread of hope alive.

| walked over to the window, pressing my forehead against the glass. Jakarta was awake beneath me, the city

bustling with life, utterly unaware of our pain. Cars honked, street vendors set up their stalls, and people moved

on with their day, with their lives. And here we we | touched the spot on my neck where Luke's hand had rested

the last twe were together, right before he left. His fingers had been warm and steady, a small but solid

promise that I'd see him soon. That he'd cback. | squeezed my eyes shut, a fresh wave of tears th Please,

let him cback. Let them both cback.

| couldn't remember how long | stood there, but eventually, the morning light grew stronger, spilling across the

room. Laura

288 Vouchers) The werosil

Smee atest

chapter there!

stirred behind me, murmuring in her

sleep, and | weyers and

RE INRCE Lf Ing away any

trace of weakness. The content is on

novelenglish.net! Read the latest

chapter there!

|

| knew I'd have to face her soon, to

keep the mask in place, to smile and

[1 | : +

say, "We're going to find them.

| : i :

They're going to be 9) Beggyse if

| Stopped sayingit obit ud, if I let

thatHiny, flickering light of hope go

q f ' o

out, then | didn't know how I'd make it

through the day. Taking one last,

steadying breath, | turned back to the

room, ready to pretend for one more

day to keep us from slipping into that

dark place where we might never find

our way out. The content is on

novelenglish.net! Read the latest

chapter there!

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