Gravis stood in the middle of the road as he looked into the direction his enemy had fled towards. He didn't say anything, but his imposing and cold aura still shook most of the onlookers. What was he thinking about?
'Should I have attacked regardless?' Gravis thought as he looked into the distance. 'As far as I know myself, I would have expected me to directly attack and kill him. Yet, I purposely showed my power in front of him to dissuade him from attacking.'
'Is it because I fear putting my life at risk after not fighting for such a long time?' Gravis thought as he analyzed himself.
'No, I don't think so,' he thought after several seconds. 'My power has grown tremendously ever since my fight with Heaven. If the guy had been able to resist my pressure, he would have still been able to put up a fight, but he hadn't been able to. Someone that isn't able to resist my pressure is not a true opponent. So, logically, it wasn't that I feared for my life.'
'Am I going soft?' Gravis thought. 'When Commander Rime interfered in my fight, I decided to kill him, even though I knew that he didn't want to hurt me. This guy wanted to kill me, but I simply scared him off. This is definitely not normal.'
Gravis just continued standing there as he thought about himself. 'I think it's because of my Law of Freedom,' Gravis thought.
'I didn't want to accept it in the past, but most of the time, when I killed such people or beasts, it was my lightning commanding me to do it. They had acted aggressively towards me, which meant that they had to be killed with everything I got. In the past, I always believed that this was also what I wanted to do, but was that really true?' Gravis thought.
'I think it was a coping mechanism. I heard about lightning's temperament in the lower world, and I became so strongly connected to lightning that it would be hard to even distinguish myself from it. I think I simply couldn't accept that I had an inner conflict going on. I thought I had everything under control, blinding me to the truth.'
'My father reminded me of the words I spoke after I found Skye's dead parent. Apparently, I said that I am I, and that won't change, no matter how much I change. Yet, I don't think that these words are accurate. These words might be accurate for every other living being, but not for me.'
'Orthar has also said something similar. He said that he was himself, but he was not the only himself. I'm not sure what he was referring to, but I can see a connection between myself and these words. I am I, but lightning is also I. Yet, does that mean that there is only one of myself?'
Follow on NovᴇlEnglish.nᴇt'When I think of the time I suppressed my emotions against Heaven, I would think that this person wasn't me. Yet, this was definitely me. I know that nearly everyone has a good side and a bad side in them. After all, I have never met a truly evil being before.'
'The lower Heaven acted like a tyrant against me without me even provoking it. Yet, the lower Heaven probably only wanted to protect itself and show its competence towards its parent Heaven. The High Priest in the lower world also reigned like a tyrant, but he was also stuck in his position forever, without any chance of becoming more powerful. Additionally, if Heaven wanted, it could have killed him. People with a weak will would also lose their minds in that position.'
'I don't even need to think about the beasts. Every beast was gunning for supreme power, and stepping over others is natural. Even the middle Heaven only followed the orders of the highest Heaven. Everyone has a story and a good and a bad side.'
'Yet, this might not be true for me. Azure has already commented several times that it is very unusual that I can adjust my own mindset this quickly and without issues. When I believe that I am right, I can kill an entire world without feeling bad. Yet, I can also spare this person that acted aggressively towards me. From an outsider's perspective, this would make no sense.'
'When has this entire thing started?' Gravis thought as he went through his life in his mind. 'When was the first time my mindset rapidly changed?'
Some seconds passed.
'Manuel,' Gravis thought. 'It was right before I entered the Heaven's Trial. Manuel said that I had a ton of emotions bottled up, and I had realized that he had been right. I was able to accept such a devastating thing without thinking much about it.'
'The next time was when Nero told me about his philosophy about darkness. After that was my talk with Skye after I killed the lower Heaven. I had felt like a monster, but just some simple words from Skye made me completely throw most of my guilt out of the window. Was this supposed to be that easy?'
'All of these instances happened after my Spirit had become acclimated to lightning. Before that, I hadn't experienced any of these kinds of rapid changes. Additionally, I even spared the middle Heaven just because I wanted to spite the highest Heaven. Would I have done that in the past? Would I have let someone go that terrorized me for hundreds of years? Definitely not.'
'Lastly, there are the words that the Black Magnate spoke to me. He said that I have an inner conflict and that he didn't know how this would play out.'
'The more I'm thinking about this, the more sense it makes. In the lower world, I completely followed and did whatever my lightning wanted. The first time I didn't follow it was when I didn't immediately kill Joyce's teacher after he mistakenly attacked me.'
'It was like my lightning was dictating my actions, and me not wanting to see this truth, thought that this also concurred with my own personality. After that incident, it was more like we made a compromise. I didn't fully follow my lightning anymore. After all, if I did, all these beasts that confused me for Aris would have died since they charged at me with aggression.'
'Then came the incident with the middle Heaven, and as soon as I comprehended the Law of Freedom, I started to be the one in charge. My lightning is angry. I feel it. My lightning hates me for not killing the middle Heaven, but it can't. My Law of Freedom is more powerful than Punishment Lightning. My Law of Freedom grants me freedom, even from myself.'
'My Law of Freedom is suppressing my lightning.'
Gravis took a deep breath. 'But what about the time when I convert my body from Punishment Lightning into Divine Lightning? What then? Then, my lightning will be more powerful than my Law of Freedom, and therefore, also more powerful than my true self. What will happen?'
'I can only see two scenarios. Either my lightning directly kills me, or it takes over control, forcing me to follow its rules. It all depends on the rage of my lightning. Is it angry enough that it would even kill itself to kill me, or is its survival more important than revenge?'
'Energy doesn't have this problem since Energy can become everything. It has no personality. It has no temperament.'
Gravis moved for the first time in several minutes and summoned some lightning in his hand. It seemed completely normal to everyone, but to Gravis, it felt angry.
'I might be lightning, but is lightning me? Is that really true? Is this another form of myself or something else entirely?'
'I don't know.'
'The only way I can see out of this situation is to comprehend the level six Law of Freedom before using Divine Lightning. With the power of my Avatar supporting the Law of Freedom, it would still be more powerful than my lightning.'
'Yet, that would only constitute as postponing the problem. It would be like running away. As soon as I reach the highest world, I would be able to come into contact with the next level of lightning, and I would face the same issue again.'
Follow on Novᴇl-Onlinᴇ.cᴏm'I need an actual solution to this, but I can't think of one right now,' Gravis thought as he scratched his metallic chin.
"Excuse me," someone said from beside Gravis, and Gravis looked over. He wasn't really angry at the interruption, just a bit annoyed.
A Law Comprehension Cultivator contacted him from the Sky Community, and Gravis looked back.
The man became incredibly nervous, but he had to say it now. "I have the 1,000 Immortal Stones, sir," he said politely.
Whooop!
Then, he summoned the Immortal Stones. Apparently, he had seen that using force didn't work or would cost more than 1,000 Immortal Stones. Gravis was already confused about why someone would hire such a powerful Immortal for a mere Nascent Nourishing Cultivator. This seemed like absolute overkill.
Gravis realized what the guy wanted.
Whoop!
Gravis pocketed the Immortal Stones and also took back his ore. The statue in the Sky Community became a human again, and the scammer took a deep breath in shock. He was free! He was finally free! He had been in this prison for over 740 years! That was over 20% of his entire longevity.
He had expected that Gravis would run out of patience first, but Gravis hadn't been bluffing when he said he would stay here for a long time. So, in the end, he had to ask for several favors and, lastly, pay his debt.
Several people appeared around him, but they weren't looking with happiness at him.
All of them looked with severity at him, like he owed them money.
Which was actually the case.
He better repay them!