My Atypical Wolf (BL)

Chapter 132: Regret

Ashton slammed his lips once more on Caleb’s earning a wince from him. However, this time he didn’t stop, instead continued to ravage those lips as he was planning on eating them whole. Ashton slammed him onto the door, an action which caused his towel to get undone, making him stand naked in the room.

When their lungs finally gave out they retracted by just a mere inch. Breathing heavily, they stared at each other. Their heartbeats took a spike when they noticed nothing but pure desire for the other in each other’s eyes. Somehow, wild Ashton made him way more excited that he has ever been.

Ashton’s eyes lowered to his mate’s completely exposed collarbones which soon made contact with his bare teeth. Ashton kissed, nibbled and bit on the bare, wet and pale skin ruthlessly making purplish bruises along his way. His force was greater than ever while he continued on his way to ravish his mate.

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(A/N: I am skipping some stuff. Feel free to put in your Imagination)

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When Caleb opened his eyes the next morning he found his face stuck to someone’s chest. He noticed the raw smell and realised that it was none other than his mate who was sound asleep while he hugged him. Caleb tried to move a little bit but a sharp pain shot up in his spine which almost seemed paralysing.

.....

With much effort he managed to loosen the hold Ashton had on him and looked below.It seemed that both of them were completely naked, but their lower half was almost covered by the sheets. He tried to move his legs, but once more the pain engulfed him making him cry out silently. That’s when he noticed the bloodstains on the bed sheet under the cover.

Each time they had sex, neither once did it cause bleeding. He could only imagine how much Ashton tried to be careful during their previous times. Caleb tried very hard to recall what went down last night. Everything happened so fast that it was hard to register each and every tiny detail.

He recalled the vulgar kisses, the bites that turned his entire torso blue. He remembered getting f**ked more than once, but after the third time, he lost count. Did he... lose consciousness while doing it? Now that he was reliving everything, he recalled how he took caffeine to keep him awake, and here he was... waking up next to his mate just a while ago.

His sluggish, painful movements finally managed to wake Ashton up and he stared at Caleb, who was yet to notice the pair of eyes on him. Finally, Caleb gave up and collapsed on the arm under his neck and looked up to meet Ashton’s empty gaze. “I see you are awake” Caleb chuckled half-heartedly.

“I am sorry”, Ashton mumbled.

Caleb blinked at him before he held his cheeks with his free left hand, “Don’t worry about it, I am sure I will be fine”.

“But you are not”! Ashton argued on the verge of tears. Even for him the entire night was blur as he gave into his animalistic instincts the other day. “How bad is it”? He asked.

“I can’t... move” Caleb mumbled. “But, I am sure the pain will be gone soon”. He added when he noticed the regret took over Ashton’s entire face.

“What if it isn’t”? Ashton mumbled, more to himself than to Caleb.

Caleb wasn’t sure exactly what to say at this moment. It was clear Ashton hated himself at this very moment and was lamenting silently in self loathing. That expression tugged at his heart making Caleb feel guilty for pushing Ashton. He needed to assure Ashton that it was alright, that it was not that big of a deal, but he wasn’t yet sure what the right words were, so he put his hands behind Ashton’s head and pulled him in for a deep kiss.

“I don’t remember much, but I do remember enjoying it”. Caleb spoke once he pulled back. “The pain will be gone, don’t beat yourself up”. Ashton avoided Caleb’s gaze and simply hugged him tightly burying his face on Caleb’s neck. Caleb grazed his palm softly over Ashton’s back to give him assurance.

How ironic was it? It was Caleb who was in so much pain and yet he was the one who was comforting instead of getting comforted. After a while when Ashton’s heartbeats were more steadier, Caleb mumbled, “Help me wash up? I feel so sticky”. Ashton pulled away and nodded.

Ashton went to his bathroom and drew him a bath with lukewarm water. He picked up Caleb as cautiously as possible. Caleb stiffened, but he made no noise. He lowered him down on the tub, while focusing on Caleb’s blank face the entire time to detect a slightest change in those expressions. Caleb, as if he were well aware of his mate’s intentions, was determined to keep a stoic face.

The warm water felt really good on his body. It soothed the aching joints and the inflamed skin and he relaxed considerably. Ashton sat there quietly, waiting for any instructions to come his way. He was scared to even touch Caleb unless he was asked to. He looked at the bruises he made all over his mate’s body which caused a turmoil of unexplained emotions to overcome through his entire body. Apart from bruises there were some scratches as well as if some animal gnawed on him.In fact it did and he was that animal himself.

No amount of words would ever be enough to express the regret he felt at this moment right now. If only he could turn back time he would, and push Caleb away from him as far as possible. The past was unfortunately out of his hands, but the future wasn’t. “Let’s not have sex anymore” he murmured dangerously low.

Caleb’s who was busy cleaning himself froze and looked up at Ashton. “I am not in the condition to have sex” he snorted. Ashton’s face didn’t change at all which further worried Caleb, “Wait, you mean... like ever”?

“Not unless I get better at self control”. Ashton declared softly, unable to look Caleb in the eye.

“Ash, you are better at self control! You are better than any Alpha I have ever met. You found me in my heat when you barely even knew me, and yet instead of taking advantage you cared for me”. Caleb’s voice quivered by the end of his sentence.

“That was before I did... all of this to you” Ashton pointed at his chest. “I am not sure how much I can hold back myself anymore, and I am worried that it will only get worse” Ashton confessed.

“It won’t!” Caleb insisted. “And even if it does, I am here for you” Caleb insisted.

“That’s the problem!” Ashton’s raised his voice. “You are my mate, and you’re the person who gets affected by my control issues the most. I... I can’t keep doing this to you. This isn’t love, this is abuse and I am not okay with this” He burst out as a teardrop rolled down his cheeks. If Caleb could, he would get up and hug Ashton this very moment, but the pain was strong enough to hold him down.

“Ashton, look-” Caleb began.

“I can’t do this” Ashton repeated.

“So what? You are breaking up with me? You are giving up on us?” Caleb accused him, even if he didn’t want to. It was hard not to get hurt by his words, despite understanding very well why he did what he did.

“No” Ashton shook his head reluctantly. “Let’s just... stay away from each other for a while. I love you Caleb Wrisberg, and I don’t want to end up hurting you like this”. Ashton declared. Caleb wasn’t sure what to say at this moment but he found himself fighting his own tears. “I will be outside, call me when you are done. I will carry you” Ashton whispered softly before he left.

As frustration and anger took over him, Caleb threw the mug on the wall that was right next to him. The mug, like his heart, broke into many pieces and laid there helpless. Soon, the water he was bathing in was mixed with his own tears as he broke into silent sobs. Did his stunt finally break their relationship? He feared.

He spent his time there longer than usual. The reason being the unbearable pain inflicted upon both, his body and his heart. He wanted to go out and explain to Ashton how not to let this tiny incident bother him, but it was quite evident that Ashton was not ready to listen yet. He wasn’t sure what was his next step and he found himself to be frustrated even more. As if he didn’t have enough problems, he found his father trying to link him. [Where are you? Weren’t you supposed to go and pick up your brother?]

After a pause, Caleb replied, [I will go]

Mr Wrisberg didn’t miss the slight dismay in his son’s voice, but he decided not to ask him about it. They didn’t really talk about feelings, and it felt really awkward to start now.

Once Caleb was done, he called Ashton to help him get ready.