My Pick Up Artist System

As Ben looked at his top level system options, he saw a new category called Flags.

Clicking on it revealed the image of a single small rectangular flag. It consisted of nine alternating horizontal stripes of blue and white, with a blue square in the top left corner bearing a white cross. It was the flag of Greece.

"Why is this here?" Ben stared at the flag. Noticing it was glowing, he selected it.

*Woosh*

Out of nowhere, a sound emitted a few feet from him, in the middle of the room. He gazed in its direction and discovered something that shouldn't have been there, something new and frightening--a small black ball of pure chaos...

Its form was a maelstrom of nothing and everything. Sometimes it was shiny, sometimes matte. At times it was calm, at other moments furious. Things poked out of it, bending its skin like it was the w.o.m.b of a demonic creature fighting to be born.

Ben's face turned pale when he heard it release piercing shrieks!

Yet, the most frightening aspect of it was…it was growing!

At a shocking pace, the ball expanded from the size of a gr.a.p.efruit to a basketball...

When it reached the size of a beach ball, Ben began to panic and question if he should escape!

Noticing his unease, the system tried to assuage him.

[This is fine]

…

"There's nothing f*cking fine!" Ben stood up and prepared to run, but when he looked at the shambolic sphere of disorder, it was already as big as a gym stability ball!

Fearing it would soon swallow the room and him, Ben sprinted towards its side!

Yet, as he approached, the ball moved to block his path!

Making an abrupt stop, Ben then tried circling the other way.

But the ball jumped out in front again!

He moved left, it moved left!

He moved right, it moved right!

He moved left again, you f*cking know where it went!

Pretty soon, Ben was trying to throw it off using random football shakes he'd seen on TV! But this damn thing stuck to him like an NFL safety!

Ben knew he couldn't pass, and he didn't dare touch this blob in fear of getting sucked into hell on the Event Horizon!

So he took the only option left. He doubled back and glanced out the window, searching for an escape…but it was too high up! There was no fire escape!

When he glanced back at the globe of havoc, it almost reached the ceiling...

Now, Ben could make out sinister faces of distortion pressing out the black skin as if l.u.s.ting after his meat!

Soon, however, the ball stabilized…

It stopped expanding, the skin flattened and tightened, and it ceased releasing sounds. After a few seconds, it just sat there, waiting…

Ben's hammering heartbeat started to slow, but he didn't let his guard down. "What the hell was that?" he asked the system.

[Willy]

…

[He gets cranky when awakened from eternal slumber]

"….What is even happening?" Yet, before Ben could begin to cope with the current situation, there was a further development.

The black ball began to change shape, thinning out in one dimension, shifting from spherical to circular…beginning to look like…a wheel…

Soon, in front of Ben, there was a matte black wheel, suspended in midair. There were only two distinguishing features on it. The first was a white lever on the left side. The second was a small opening at Ben's eye level, reaching from the edge of the wheel to the center. Its shape was like a thin slice of pizza cut out from the pie. Its white background set off several marked zones separated by lines, each with a different drawing on them…of something unusual…

[Willy the Wheel of Fortune - Provides access to unique items, treasures, legacies, adventures, and more. May also result in some…unfortunate encounters]

Ben gulped thinking about those creatures he saw. "What are unfortunate encounters?"

It was unfortunate for him…that the system didn't bother answering that. What she did tell him was that the core function of the flag system involved this wheel. Every time Ben acquired a new flag, he could use it to spin Willy once, obtaining a high chance of acquiring something unique.

As for how to get a flag, that was simple. When he slept with a new woman, if she was born in a country of which he didn't already possess the flag, he would earn a new one.

Ben gasped. "This is a gacha game!"

As he stared at the wheel, his eyes gained more and more fervor…

Soon, he was muttering under his breath.

"Gotta catch 'em all. Gotta catch 'em all…

Gotta catch 'em all. Gotta catch 'em all…"

It was the birth of a new flag fiend!

Ben glanced at the wheel's opening where it showed the items. He could only see two at the moment. One drawing was of a shield, but Ben didn't dare touch or even ask about it. He wanted to avoid it summoning him into a world of irrational characters as a Shield Hero where everyone hated him because ?????

…

Ben preferred living in a world where people had things called motives…

The other item wasn't as clear and he decided to check if the system might tell him what it was. "What's that infinity symbol?"

She explained that it was a Talent Reset. If Ben received that in a spin and used it, he would be reborn with all his stats returning to 0, but with higher innate talent.

Ben nodded. "A deus ex machina for when my story gets boring…"

The system then told him another interesting point. If he wanted, she could perform a similar effect for him anytime, resetting his talent in his current body without requiring a rebirth.

Ben raised an eyebrow. "Oh. How would that work?"

[By cutting your p.e.n.i.s off]

…

[Gender bender reset]

"NO THANK YOU!"

Ben would never give up on his little brother, even if it meant getting more fans…

...

With a live flag and no more questions left, there was only one thing left for Ben to do: "I'll buy a vowel!"

…

When nothing happened, he realized there was no side game. "Guess not. I was hoping Vanna White would come out…"

Even though he failed in his bet to lure out the TV blonde, Ben felt it was still a win. 'Losing that bet, I spent all my bad luck…' He knew that by getting rid of the back luck, only good luck would remain...increasing his chances on the next spin.

Ben understood plot mathematics. 'Stories don't have independent probability…'

Having set the stage, it was time to try his luck. Ben stepped forward, put his hand on the lever, and spun!