Pay With Your Heart

Chapter 227: Unburden Herself

Burnt, tasteless were all the things Dan-Han had created in the name of food. Eun-sun was speechless as she looked at the food placed on the table before her, while Dan-Han nervously looked at her face.

“Is it good?” Dan-Han nervously asked as Eun-sun chewed on the brown thing that was supposed to be a carrot.

‘Wait who chops carrot like a mushroom?’ Eun-sun asked herself with disbelief. It didn’t look like he had sliced at all.

She shook her head as she tried not to cringe at the bitter taste. She took a bit of the rice -God it was so sticky – and she almost spat out. Did he cook the rice with sea water? Why was there so much salt?!

Eun-sun hurriedly picked up the glass of water to wash her mouth before her tongue begins to bleed.

She looked at Dan-Han who had his eyes fixed on her. “Mr Lee, can you please not cook for me again?” She told him in a low and pleading voice. Yes, she was begging him. This was bizarre. Alot of things were wrong in what he had cooked under the pretence of making stir-fry.

“Is it that bad?” Dan-Han asked while Eun-sun vigorously bobbed her head up and down. He couldn’t believe he was that bad. He tried taking a bit of the stir fry he had made and he couldn’t help but spit it out. Eun-sun passed him a glass of water which he completely gulped down.

.....

“Just stick to warming up food okay.” She advised him making Dan-Han sigh defeatedly before nodding his head. ????nn????????????????. ????????????

What had given him the idea to cook in the first place? He asked himself.

“So what are you going to eat? I don’t want you to go home without eating.” He could easily take her out to eat but he was also hungry and he wanted to have dinner with her.

“I’ll make something for us.” She said as she stood to her feet.

Dan-Han held her hand to stop her, “You’re tired.” He told her. He didn’t know want her to exhaust herself.

“It will be something light don’t worry.” She persuaded him.

“I’ll help you then.” He firmly told her.

Soon they both started cooking and in no time Eun-sun had prepared something for them to eat, with little help from Dan-Han of course. They sat down and peacefully ate their food, with Dan-Han regularly placing beef stripes on her plate. Eun-sun couldn’t help but smile whenever he does that. He sure takes care of her alot.

Dan-Han watched as she ate, he had something to say but he didn’t know where to start and it made him nervous.

He cleared his throat to gain Eun-sun’s attention making her to look at him with raised brows.

“Erm... can I talk to you about something?” He nervously asked while she nodded her head affirmatively, “Sure.” She said as she continued eating.

Dan-Han hesistated for a while before speaking up, “It’s about your parents.” He told her making Eun-sun to pause as she glanced

at him.

Her parents?

“What about them?” She inquisitively asked.

“When are you going to talk to your mother?” He decided to start from there since they were both familiar with that situation. He was sure it wouldn’t be too awkward if they talked about her mother, since he had witnessed what had happened.

Yes, she was going to be uncomfortable but it wouldn’t be as awkward as when they began to talk about her dad since she had never really talked about him with her.

Eun-sun gazed at him for a while before shaking her head. “I don’t know.” She honestly replied. She didn’t know when she was going to talk to her mother neither did she know if she was ever going to talk to her.

Dan-Han studied her expression for a short while before speaking up, “I know you’re unwilling to talk to her even though a part of you is dying to know why she had done what she did to you, but you just have to do it. It’s normal to feel this way but know you can’t runaway from things, most especially things like this. This is something you must face whether you like it or not.” He told her making Eun-sun sigh defeatedly. She knew he was right, but she couldn’t force it. It wasn’t easy to just go seek out the person who hurt you like her did and talk or ask questions.

She wanted those answers but she couldn’t stand her mother, for now. Would it bad if she said she resented her mother? Because she felt like she did. Her mother hadn’t made life easy for her in any way. She had toiled hard and endured a lot of hardship just to make her happy but look at what she did to her. She had willingly sold her out, that’s aside the numerous things she had done to her in the past. She had abused her, humiliated her, punished her, insulted her, accused her of some many things and she had never loved her at least since her father left.

She had thought about the possibility of her being adopted, because she was convinced if Song-Hee was truly her mother she’d never do the things she had done to her. No mother would do those kind of things to her own child who she had carried in her womb for nine months, nurtured for twenty-five years, or rather fifteen years because she stopped being a mother to her at that time.

Eun-sun was sure if she met her mother she might insult her by asking if she had really birthed her or if she had picked her up from the streets. Because even dogs didn’t slaughter their own children or make them go through the hell she had been through. She wouldn’t be wrong to say animals might be more better than humans most especially her mother.

Eun-sun hesistated for a while before looking Dan-Han directly in the eye. “I know what you’re trying to say, I do have a lot of questions for her and i know I won’t have some peace till I have the answers to those questions, but it’s not just easy. I’m still taunted by the memories of that day and every other thing I have suffered at her hands. Had you not saved me on that night I don’t know what would have happened to me. You had seen me in a vulnerable position and she was the one who put me there. So it’s hard Dan-Han. I’m human and-” She paused when she felt choky and her eyes began to sting with tears. She wasn’t about to cry right? She asked herself but her eyes were already swelling. Why was she always crying in front of him?

“Come here.” Dan-Han spoke in a low tone when he saw her teary eyes, his hands were stretched out to her. Eun-sun placed her hand in his and slowly got up from her seat and walked towards him. He pulled her down to seat on his thighs.

“Shh... it’s okay.” He said in a soothing tone as he cupped her face and craned his neck to place a kiss on her forehead. His actions made the tear Eun-sun had been holding roll down her cheeks. She buried her face on his neck and cried even more. She was always feeling weak in front of him, why?

Dan-Han gently pat her back and let her cry as she wants to. After a while he cupped her face again and dried her tears.

“I’m sorry.” She apologized with hitched breathes.

“What for?” He asked.

“For always crying recently. I usually don’t cry.” She told him, making Dan-Han kiss her cheek.

“It’s okay to cry sometimes Eun-sun. I know I said you’re a strong girl but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t show your emotions, even the strongest of us have our moments of weaknesses and we cry when we’re hurt and broken, so it’s okay if you cry and show some level of weakness too it only means that you’re human, that you have emotions inside of you. It okay if you hate, love, laugh, and at the same time cry. It only makes you better. I don’t want you to be strong around me. I’ll be strong for the both of us and you can always cry in front of me when it gets tough, that’s why I’m here to encourage you. I’ll always be here for you to hear you, comfort you, and also protect you. So believe me nothing that happened in the past will ever happen again. I just want you to have some peace with yourself by speaking with your mother because if you don’t you’ll always carry it as a burden in your heart.” He told her.

“So talk to her, ask all the questions you have and speak your mind that way you can stop carrying baggages in your heart, okay?” He told her calmly.

“Okay.” Eun-sun snifled her tears as she nodded her head before wrapping her hand around his neck.

“I love you Mr Lee.” She said against his neck.

“I love you too.”

“Mr Lee.” She called her face still on his broad shoulders.

“Why didn’t you come sooner?” She asked but Dan-Han couldn’t give an imprompt answer. Maybe if he had come sooner she wouldn’t have endured all she had endured or even if she did, she would have faced it squarely because she would know there was someone who’d listen to her, comfort her and encourage her.

“I don’t know. But I’m sorry for making you wait.” He finally replied.

Eun-sun loosened her grip from his neck and looked at him, her hazel eyes boring into his.

“Always stay with me okay?”

“I have nowhere else to go.” He replied as he kissed her lips. But he still had something else to say and he didn’t know how to say it.

Should he or should he not talk about it?