Pay With Your Heart

Chapter 423: Deserves You.

Eun-sun laid still in Dan-Han’s arms. His long and firm fingers sleekly combing through the wild locks of her hair, and his other hand drawing lazy and soothing circles on her back, as she drowned in his soft warmth and embrace.

There was always something about the way he held her that made her want to forever stay shackled to his side forever, despite the occasional fears that crawls into her head of not being good enough for him.

Dan-Han gives her the security, love and respect she didn’t know she had been lacking in her life till she met him. He treats her so well that he fills a void she didn’t know she had been carrying in her, and it made her wonder if she would have been different had she had had the constant supply of all the things he’s giving her.

She wasn’t one to be greedy, but she couldn’t help but try to imagine if she would have been more confident of herself and more involved in the lives of those around her had she had the love and care she didn’t know she desired until now. Would she be more affectionate and attentive or even more proper had she not suffered the abuse she did from her mother’s hand?

Everyday with Song-Hee after her father left was a hell she’d never want to revisit. Sometimes she still heard her voice inside her head when she hurled at her.

You’re Cursed, Eun-sun. She’d say.

Evil child.

.....

You’re nothing but a mistake. No one deserves to be have a plaque like you shackled to them.

You ruin everything you touch. You ruined my home! She’d yell.

Every word she had said with a strike. Mistakes need not to be made before she was whipped, beaten and left with a few bruises and sometimes a broken jaw or sprained joint.

She’d fall sick for days, but each day she’d still go to work so as to provide for her.

There had been times where she had slept on the porch under the violent cold. Times when she had slept on an empty stomach, causing worms to drills holes in her stomach till she was diagnosed of a chronic ulcer.

Despite all the hardships she endured, she lived through multiple jobs simply just to cater for Song-Hee, because despite how badly she treated her, she was still the only family member she had. The only thing that gave a sense of belonging. And unlike her father, she couldn’t leave.

She had to take care of the things he left behind, as well as the debts.

Eun-sun didn’t know she had tears streaming down her face till Dan-Han’s voice floated into her ears.

“Why are you crying?” He asked in a hard tone, his face looming over her with concern and displeasure.

Eun-sun shook her head as she tried to wipe her tears away, but he caught her hand and kissed her cheeks, his lips catching her tears in them.

Dan-Han’s brows creased with a frown when more tears trickled down her face, but he wiped them away just as he did the other.

“Eun-sun, please tell me why you’re crying.” He begged, his voice holding a softness that made her heart swell even more.

He sighed when she threw her arms around his neck and buried her face on his chest. Dan-Han fell back on the bed, his hand pulling her closer, and they gently began to move in a rhythm as they patted her back.

Dan-Han kissed the top of her head and placed his chin on it, while he comforted her in silence.

He knew something had been on her mind since he picked her up this earlier evening from the mall. Although her countenance had changed and livened up after talking to In-Ha and all through dinner at the restaurant, but he still had been able to tell there was something heavily bothering her mind.

“Honey, tell me what it is.” He softly spoke as he kept patting her down.

“I-It’s nothing. I’m..fine.” Her breath hitched as she tried to stiffle her breath.

“Nonsense.” Dan-Han chided. “You know that’s not true. Tell me what it is.... please.” He pleaded as he cupped her cheek and pulled her face up. Eun-sun tried to struggle but she couldn’t break away from him.

He rolled her over and hovered above her. He held her face straight when she tried to look away again.

“I hate seeing you cry. It breaks my heart in ways you can’t imagine. So tell me.” He wiped his hand against and face and cleaned her eyes. Eun-sun raised her hazy eyes to him, and she could see his soften and tender gaze coaxing her to tell him what bothered her.

“I...I, I don’t deserve you Dan-Han.” She spluttered out, making his face darken in an instant.

“What do you mean?” He darkly inquired. “Did someone say something to you?”

Eun-Sun vigorously shook her head when she saw the anger suddenly blazing in his eyes. “No. No one said anything.”

“Then why are you saying such words?” He asked, his voice slightly easing up and losing some hardness in them. He watched as he lips quavered.

“I-I don’t think I deserve you or the people around me, especially you and Hei-Ran. I haven’t done anything to receive the sacrifice and care....and patience you’ve both shown.” Dan-Han wanted to stop her right there, but he stopped himself when it seemed like she had more to say and she really wanted to say them.

“I don’t think I’ve given my best to either of you. And I haven’t been a good friend to her, and I haven’t been good to you-”

Eun-sun swallowed back the rest of her words when Dan-Han claimed her lips and kissed her with passion. His hands bracing her face warmed her cold cheeks that were soiled with tears.

Eun-sun gazed at him when he pulled away and simply stared at her.

“Eun-sun, you’re good enough for me and everyone who you have around you. I’m sure Ms. Su knows this too, least she wouldn’t be around you.”

“I barely talk to her, or share things with her. She puts all the effort in our friendship. I haven’t been there for like she has for me.”

“And you’re not this way by choice, love.” Dan-Han told her. He hesitated for a moment, but he sighed as he raked his hand through his hair.

“I know everything you’ve been through. I’m sorry to say this now, but I know how you’ve lived in the past ten years.” He said making Eun-sun look at him with widened eyes.

“Y..you do?” She oddly inquired as he nodded.

His fingers pushed back the strands of hair hovering by her face as he nodded. “I do. I know about debts, the jobs, the..abuse. I don’t know about every little detail, but I know a fair amount of it.”

Eun-sun’s eyes blinked in shock-surprise. “H..how?” She stuttered, and Dan-Han shrugged.

“I investigated. I’m sorry but I couldn’t stop myself.” He hurriedly explained when he saw the look in her eyes.

“When?” Eun-sun asked, wondering how long he had known that much about her.

Her brows pulled together when she saw him hesitate. “Before we started dating.” He told her, surprising Eun-sun who stared at him with gaped mouth.

Dan-Han paused and observed her for a while. He resignedly sighed and continued, not seeing the need for stoping now. “It was that time when...when you were drugged and I was with you at the hospital. That was the time I investigated. Seeing something like that made me curious and suspicious and I couldn’t stop myself. I was livid when I got the information I needed, but I knew I couldn’t ask you as you’d feel embarrassed and you might run away from me.”

Embarrassed? Eun-sun was already feeling embarrassed at the moment. She didn’t know Dan-Han knew such things about her. Wait he had still wanted her despite knowing she had been treated in such a way.

“And you still wanted me?” She asked even though she found that question stupid. Weren’t they there now?

Dan-Han sighed when he heard her question. His eyes softened even more as he wiped away the tear that slipped the corner of her eyes.

“What’s not to want about you? I’d be stupid if I had left because of something like that. I’d probably be dead if I had left because someone didn’t know your worth.”

“You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. I’d be mad to see something so bright and beautiful, and look the other way. When I first met you and ran away from the hospital, I was bent on finding you, because at first sight you ruined me for life, and it knew only you could make me happy.” He told her.

He kissed her lips when she placed her dainty hands on top of his hands holding her face. “You chose to put yourself in my debt and I already knew how I wanted my payment. To me it was your heart and nothing else.”

“Dan-Han.” She sobbed out.

“That’s what you mean to me, Eun-sun. The world. So I don’t agree when you say I don’t deserve you, because It is I and the rest of the world who doesn’t deserve you, and I’m sure even Ms Su knows this and that’s why she had stuck with you through it all.”

Eun-Sun didn’t know what to say as her heart danced heavily behind her chest. She wrapped her hands around his neck and pulled him towards her till her face was buried in his chest.

The words he said, and the way he had looked her made her feel warm and happy, she felt she wanted to merge with him. Eun-sun felt a word press at her lips, but she quickly swallowed it back.

“I love you, Dan-Han.” She muttered out amidst tears.

“I didn’t hear you.” Dan-Han said feigning ignorance to what she had said. “You’ve become a cry baby these days, I barely hear what you’re saying.” He teased, making Eun-sun smack his broad shoulders.

“You made me a cry baby.” She complained, and he chuckled.

He rolled on the bed and laid back on his back, his hand snaking around her waist and pulling her up till she was lying on top of him.

He kissed and teased the tip of nose with his tongue. “It shows how vulnerable you’ve become with me.”

Eun-sun couldn’t agree more with him. She was indeed only vulnerable with him. She quickly dropped a kiss on his cheek and laid her head on his chest, where she listened to his heart beat. The sturdy sound of it was so relaxing, and she wanted to do this forever.

“Love.”

“Hmm?” Eun-sun mumbled out a response.

“Let’s make a public appearance. What do you say?” He asked and Eun-sun snapped her head up and stared at him with widened eyes.