Pay With Your Heart

509 Vulnerable

Ni-Na felt stupid for walking out the way she just did, but she couldn’t see herself sharing the same space with In-Ha.

For some reason, her heart still raced at the sight of him. His voice still excited her heart in ways she didn’t want it to, and it was all so frustrating, all so annoying, and all so weak of her.

There was this fluttering effect of butterflies in her stomach when he walked into the room, and she laid eyes on him.

Ni-Na just couldn’t believe herself. She couldn’t believe she could still let In-Ha have so much effect on her.

What was it about him that had her so foolish, so vulnerable? What about him drove her so mad that despite knowing he didn’t want her, she still wanted him?

She desperately wanted to relive those precious moments they had shared under her drunk pretense. Though it meant nothing to him, it was worth the whole world to her, and that was precisely why it hurt so badly.

Ni-Na felt a squeeze in her chest, and her eyes stung, but she dared not cry.

He wasn’t worth it. She told herself. Kang In-Ha was worth her heart and tears.

He didn’t love her, and neither did he want her.

.....

The sight of In-Ha smiling so sweetly at Eun-sun reeled back into her mind, and she felt a squeezing thud in her chest.

How his eyes lit up at the sight of Eun-sun was what she truly wanted when he looked at her.

The way he smiled, like he couldn’t be any happier to share the same room with Eun-Sun, was all she craved, but she knew she could never have it.

He felt for Eun-sun, but not her, and that feeling gut her severely. It made her stomach clench.

‘Are you jealous?’ Her inward voice spoke to her, and she swiftly shook her head.

‘Of course not!’ She could never be jealous of her sister-in-law and what she shared with In-Ha.

It was no one’s fault In-Ha didn’t find her loveable and couldn’t see the feelings she had for him.

She had no one to blame for that, and she wouldn’t blame anyone at all.

Ni-Na paused in her thoughts and jolted back to reality when the elevator chimed on arrival.

She hesitated to get out of the elevator as she realized she had nowhere to go, and she wasn’t in the mood for some caffeine.

She sighed and stepped out of the elevator, as there was also no way she’d be going back there, at least not till In-Ha was gone.

She’d find somewhere to wait out till he leaves.

She caught sight of an exit at the end of the hallway, and she turned toward it.

She pushed the door, opening to a large-scale garden with trees and benches.

She heaved deeply as she stepped on the open ground, a gush of cold air rushing through her lungs and quelling down the tightness in her chest.

A bench lay under a large tree, and she slowly approached it, but just as she closed in, she caught sight of a familiar structure squatting behind a hedge.

Her brows puckered at the sight of him. What was he doing?

“You really have a death wish, don’t you?” Ni-Na cocked a brow as she approached the squatting figure.

She stopped in front of him and lowered her eyes to the burning cigarette between his fingers.

He raised his gaze towards her, and his lips curved up with mocking surprise.

“What a pleasant surprise, little Lee.” He said with a smile creasing his eyes.

Ni-Na ignored the stupid smile he darted to her and narrowed her eyes at the stick of cigarette in his hand.

Ji-Tae’s lips twitched amusedly as he followed her gaze to his hand. He chuckled and raised it to his lips, but before he could take a drag, Ni-Na snatched it from his hand and stubbed it out.

He angled a brow at her while she leveled her gaze on him.

“Kiddo—”

“Lee Ji-Tae, are you really mad?!” She snapped at him. “Do you really want to die this bad? Are you so rotten you don’t know what’s good anymore? Are you this bad? Have mom and dad failed you in any way? Why do you hate us? Why do you hate them this much? Why?!” Ni-Na ferociously roared at him.

“Tell me why, you piece of trash!” She yelled and shoved him by the shoulder, and to her surprise, he fell to the floor.

“Ji-Tae!” Her heart skipped a beat at the sight of him falling backward at her shove. She had not intended to push him.

She reached her hand to help him, but he silently stared at it without receiving it, amusement twinkling in his eyes.

He lifted his eyes from her hand to her face as they gleamed with even more amusement. “I didn’t know you cared for me this much. I thought I was your least favorite person. What changed?” He angled his brow even higher.

Ni-Na looked at him with incredulity. She couldn’t believe this was what he had to say, especially from the floor where he seemed to find much comfort.

She inched her hand closer, indicating for him to hold on to her. When he did, she carefully helped him up. Her eyes coursed over him, and she couldn’t help but notice how pale and frail he looked.

“You’re still my least favorite person, and you’ll always be.” She said in a less subtle tone than the one she had used to scold him seconds ago.

Ji-Tae’s lips twitched with amusement as he looked at his sister. “I hope that doesn’t change.” He said and bent over to pick up the remaining pack of his cigarettes.

“And don’t you dare try to take it.” He warned when he observed Ni-Na’s glare on it. He could tell she wanted to snatch it and thrash it just like she had done moments ago.

Ni-Na scowled at the cigarettes in his hand and then at his face, and while she wanted to cuss at him for being stupid and reckless, she defeatedly hissed at him.

“Do you really want to die, Ji-Tae? Mom and Dad—”

“Should stop speaking to the doctors. They should find better things to do with their time.” He cut her short. He lifted his eyes to the bench a few feets away from where they stood, and he started for it.

Ni-Na’s gaze followed after him. He looked lean, and even though he tried to maintain his gait, she could see his body slightly tilted forward. From where she stood, he looked really sick and vulnerable.

And this was the most vulnerable she had ever seen him, and even though she didn’t want to feel bad for him, she already did.

She walked over and put a hand around him. Ji-Tae paused and looked at her. When she flashed a challenging gaze at him, he simply smiled and leaned in even though he didn’t have to and didn’t want to.

She carefully helped him to sit like he was some disabled person, and despite knowing he wasn’t one and did not think this care was necessary, he found himself taking a liking to it and appreciating it.

“Thank you.” He said to her, and Ni-Na nodded and lowered herself to sit beside him.

A short moment of silence reigned between them as they fixed their gazes on the trimmed hedges and trees ahead of them.

“Mom and Dad-” Ni-Na started and paused, hesitant to have this conversation with her reckless brother.

She looked over to Ji-Tae, who still had his gaze fixed ahead of him, but she was sure he could hear her.

“You have to talk to them.” She said, but still, there was no response from him.

“Ji-Tae, you’re their child and my brother. And despite the times you made us wish you weren’t, you still are, and we love you, Ji-Tae. I love you, Ji-Tae; even with your wickedness and all, I still love you.” She said, and Ji-Tae finally turned to her.

He quietly peered at her, his eyes missing the amusement and mischief they always seemed to have about them.

Ni-Na placed her hand on top of his, and he looked at it before shifting it back to her face. “Ji-Tae, I won’t be a hypocrite and say life is being unfair to you because you’ve never played fair, not to us, who are your family, not to brother Dan-Han, who has always looked after us and cleaned up after you. But the truth is, I feel sad you have to suffer like this. I’d rather punish you in my own way than lose you altogether.”

“And you’ll be nicer than death?” He dryly asked.

Ni-Na shook her head. “I can’t promise you that, but I would definitely have given you a long life and left you with the torture of seeing everyone happy except you.”

Ji-Tae chuckled. “You’re evil little Lee. Really evil.”

Ni-Na shrugged. “I guess it’s one of the curses of we Lee’s. None of us are saints, but you’re the villain of us all.”