QT: Against My Will

338 5.82 – Separation – The Sleepless’s Elite’s Wife

+— Author’s note —-+

I would like to ask. On whose side are you on?

Bing Shi’s or Xuan Mu’s?

Both have their reasons, and what I noticed, Xuan Mu usually receives the most pity from the readers. I know, Bing Shi and her strong principles + stubbornness can get annoying sometimes. ??

I hope you’ll trust BS and XM’s characters and their choices.

They don’t act unreasonably like that for the sake of angst.

Many things will be explained at the end of this ARC.

Edited by Psycho S.

+—————–+

.....

“Cut!” The director called out, “What happened to you two?! You!” He pointed at the movie’s male lead, “She is a puny combat engineer, whose gender you decided to keep a secret. You’re a married general. Act like one. Don’t hesitate to show who is the alpha here. Don’t let her fear stop you. And you...”

The director pointed at Bing Shi nervously, her kind of fear was like she would protect her chastity with blood and teeth, “You won’t kick him in the balls if he touched your beautifully ‘shaved’ face, right?”

“I’m sorry,” Bing Shi and the movie’s male lead bowed slightly in apology as they took a short break after many takes. If she knew what would happen with her husband, she wouldn’t accept this role.

The lead for Bing Shi’s new role was a young female who decided to secretly follow her husband into war, to serve the country after she miscarried her child and got to know that she wouldn’t be able to bear another. After obtaining a spot as a combat engineer, she became a witness to her husband cheating her with local women, together with other men.

The next day she would see him writing a love letter for his wife, her. She would despise him with all her heart until she experienced it on her skin, causing her morals to clash. She experienced the cruelty of war and at the same time got attracted to a married general, the only man who didn’t cheat during that night in the city.

It was a perfect movie to be nominated; Bing Shi wanted an award, so she went for an audition and got the role. How? First impressions were important. She lost a bit of weight and without a speck of sleep, she looked perfectly exhausted for the role.

· · ———- · ???· ———- · ·

While Bing Shi’s makeup was being retouched by the makeup artist, she felt that black miasma coming from the approaching male lead. Their souls met long before their eyes did. She got lost in her mind as blood rushed to her head- she didn’t know how to react.

She realized that she was just trying to get to the next day, lost in the thought of living tomorrow’s day. She didn’t want to lose herself just to be ‘good enough’ for someone else, to keep that someone by her side, and exchange her happiness for his.

The depth of raw emotion in her eyes froze Xuan Mu in a trance. He could never clearly see her demons, he only ever saw the face that conquered them. She always had that look about her: a look of otherness. Her eyes that saw things much too far, that easily wandered off the edge of his soul, were currently scared... She was scared of being near him. In fact, she was entirely scared of him; of his power. As if her soul knew that he did something behind her back- something he shouldn’t have.

Getting closer, he glanced at the script in her hands. After remembering his lines, his lips almost touching her ear, closing his eyes, taking in her presence, “Trying to fool me with your manager’s heartbeat, hm? Were you suffering... sorry, adjusting to life without me?”

Bing Shi’s forehead furrowed, her silence stilled the air. o words could explain what was going on in her mind and heart. It was a period drama, she couldn’t wear a thing from modern times.

She ordered him to stay away, so why was he here? Did he find a great opportunity to help her, see her and make her feel guilty? He often provoked her, saying things he didn’t mean because deep down, he expected her to know his true feelings.

· · ———- · ???· ———- · ·

They were called to resume the acting, and she reluctantly walked into the ‘general’s office’. Great. It looks like she wouldn’t need any teardrops. He just appeared and she didn’t know what to do sooner: cry and be happy, or cry and be angry.

“Action!!!” The director called out.

The male actor was a married man. He signed not to do any physical contact beyond holding hands with Silika Lin per his wife’s request, who was afraid that Silika would seduce her husband on set.

Scenes without dialogue relied heavily on the actors’ faces and gestures. The same way a picture could say a thousand words, a good actor’s face could reveal a story through emotion, emotions so intense, there was no way to put them into words.

These two didn’t even look at each other, stood two meters apart, and there was already some ambitious vibe going on- sexual tension might add. It was as if their secret feelings were too strong to hide.

Standing in front of his desk, Bing Shi took in his sharp side profile as he was facing the window. She had started noticing little details like the earring in his ear was in truth a birthmark. She noticed this when she first met the male lead, but she studied them a little more when it came to him.

She had to be aware of lighting and make sure that her movements were exactly where it’s supposed to be. She had about fifty crew members watching her every move. Everyone just wanted to get a good take so they could move on with their day on to the next scene. Frowning, she licked and bit her bottom lip impatiently. God, she hated this job.

She looked around the tent, her eyes stopping on the desk. Inexplicably. she showed a pained expression when she saw his framed picture with his wife and children. After a moment, she had started recollecting herself. She threw some begging daggers at his vulnerable back with something strange in her eyes.

‘Hey, why doesn’t he look at her? Make her feel wanted and beautiful again. Please don’t let her wait any longer...’ These were the words the female lead of the movie would like to convey through her actions.

“It suits you,” as if hearing her soundless plea, he turned around and reached his hand towards her cheek like an experienced man that knew how to take advantage of a young woman. His hand traced behind her head and while caressing her hair, he whispered in a magnetic voice that made her heart lurk, “Your hair... it grew longer.”

When she didn’t move upon their skin contact, he practically shoved his tongue down her throat, causing her to let out a garbled sort of noise. But she took what he gave, indulging in the forbidden nature of all of this.

God their bodies wanted it: the way he gripped her body and kissed her without any second thoughts, the lewd motion of his tongue against her own, caused her heart to shake hectically.

Her expression filled with conflicting emotions. Pushing at him with one hand she used the other to grab her gun, wanting to shoot through his head the moment he tried to betray his wife, and then shoot her own head for wanting him like that.

Two young adults of opposite genders, in the middle of the war. Far away from home, they could die at any moment. They were both stressed and lonely... naturally, because of this and other factors, the attraction would develop and then lust would bloom, and adultery would happen.

He suddenly grabbed her neck, squeezing it harshly, he separated their mouths, his tone dark, “You are not the first and most certainly not the last woman that tried to pass through the regulations. I thought you were different,” he licked her lips as if taking in the last drop of her taste, his harsh tone and strong grip on her neck didn’t match the rest of his body as he kept kissing her lips.

Grinding her body against the desk table until the picture frame fell and shattered upon the contact with the floor, waking him up from the high, “Seems like you are no different from the local prostitutes that try to seduce my soldiers. Some things should be kept behind closed doors. What the soldiers do to relieve their stress is one of them. Remember it. Chao Xing, married to Zhi Qiang, you’re a hypocrite.”

Chao Xing’s energy seemed to seep out as she stood rooted in place like a statue, without struggling. She wished to die. So all the approach until now, the concern and care, was the general trying to catch her in the act. He did all these things... not because he took a liking to her.

Bing Shi missed her husband too much to struggle and was too distracted by his presence to follow the script, “It...it hurts...so much.”