Reincarnation: From Opressed Missy to Campus Belle

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, “Han Nanxian said.

Song Xueyun hummed in reply. Didn’t everyone say the same thing for hurting you?

They had their dinner in peace. Well, it couldn’t be said to be peace because both of them were quiet but their minds were loud with so many thoughts running there.

When the dinner ended, Han Nanxian cleared the table without giving her a chance. He was quietly going back to his bedroom when she said, “You pay half the rent. I’m not forcing you to stay in your bedroom. You can use the common area however you want.”

She felt that he was always in his room whenever she was home as he was trying to make his presence less known because she found him annoying. Since he paid for half of the rent, she couldn’t let him do that. He paid for this apartment so he could use it, not just cooped up inside one room.

Han Nanxian had to bite his lips to stop himself from smiling. He turned to look at her with a serious look on his face and said, “Well, I stay in the room not because I’m forced to but because I have to work. My office hours are not fixed. I usually wake up all night to finish my work.”

Ever since he returned to China, he had to work at night because of the time zone. Once the new branch in China was stable, he would stop working at night hours as it was taking a toll on his body.

“Oh, “Song Xueyun looked embarrassed. Maybe, she was thinking too much. This reminds her that she still didn’t know what he did for a living.

“What do you do for a living?” Song Xueyun asked.

“Work like you do, “Han Nanxian said as it was so obvious.

Song Xueyun had an urge to roll her eyes. “Genius.” Taking a deep breath she added, “What kind of work do you do?”

“Take a guess, “Han Nanxian raised his brow.

“You wanted to go to an aerospace University abroad. Did you get into one?” Song Xueyun questioned him. She knew that his father was not in favour of that career but he left home to chase his dreams. He should be doing excellent in his field, shouldn’t he be? What she meant was that because of this dream he left all of his friends and family behind and never tried to contact them.

Han Nanxian chuckled. “What made you think I went for aerospace engineering? If you don’t know, I will tell you— I went to Havard business school. I found those long and comprehensive economics late-night discussions more interesting than the aerospace engineering lectures.”

“You are saying you did not fulfil your dream?” Song Xueyun asked him angrily.

Han Nanxian just shrugged. “My father knew that I will be a bad aerospace engineer. I didn’t pursue it.”

He said it in such a nonchalant tone that it brought tears to her eyes. She took a step near him and caught him by his collar. Anger was burning in those dark eyes along with tears. She was so pissed at this man right now that she had no words. If she could she would burn this man right here with her anger.

“You are an asshole, “Song Xueyun shouted. “You wanted to be an aerospace engineer so bad! Your library was filled with those books. You knew each of them by words. How dare you say that you will be a bad aerospace engineer when you threw your dreams away like this?”

“Yunyun–“

“Don’t you Yunyun me right now, “She said in a loud and angry tone. “You asked me why I’m still at this shitty job? Idiot, it was because of you! We dreamt together that I will get into my favourite University in Shanghai. I will get a degree in economics. I did! I got into investing too because you taught me that. I was trying to make something of myself by preserving at this shitty job so when I will leave, I will land something big. You left seven years ago but I’m still fulfilling all the promises and making sure that all our dreams come true but look at you?! What have you become? You let your father dictate your life in the end.”

She was shaking in anger. No, she didn’t feel bad that he broke all the promises while she single-handedly fulfilled them. She was angry and sad because the dreamer in him didn’t even believe in himself. When he was sick he was so optimistic but now that he was healthy and had a long life ahead of him, he was so pessimistic that it hurt to see him like this.

Han Nanxian hugged the angry woman in his arms and let her calm down. She broke into sobs and he felt so damn terrible for causing her to cry like this. But a part of him was happy too. Even if it was little, she felt something for him. Maybe, there was hope for two of them.

What would happen if he told her this moment that he loved her and wanted nothing but to only have her? He could throw away thousands of such dreams for her. Because he never wanted anything more than her. He thought that seven years away from her would help him move on but it seemed his feelings for her had only grown with time.

“You know my life is not that shitty, “Han Nanxian said.

She glared at him through teary eyes. “You don’t get to say a thing.”

Yes, he didn’t get to say a thing about his life.

“Okay, “Han Nanxian sighed.

“I know your shitty father disowned you, “Song Xueyun said, sniffling.

“Isn’t that a good thing?” Han Nanxian asked. “He was not good to both of us. He moved on from my mom and his sick. He is living his life with his young wife and who knows he may have some healthy children in the future that doesn’t have a spec of imperfection in them as I have.”

Song Xueyun hit his chest with her fist. “You don’t get to call yourself imperfect. If it was Han Zixin in your place, would you call him imperfect or flawed too?”

Looking at her, he sighed, “You know I would never.”

“Then, how dare you say the same?” Song Xueyun asked him.

“Yunyun, I can’t understand why are you crying and being mad at me, “Han Nanxian explained. “You have to explain to me the reason behind it so I can solve the problem.”

“I don’t think there is anything left to solve, “Song Xueyun said as she realised what position she was on. She broke the hug and took a step back from him and his life. How did she forget each time that they were no longer best friends? His life was none of her business and she needed to stop making him her business.

“There are a lot of things that we need to solve, “Han Nanxian said. “We are running away from all those things.”

“Clearly, I don’t know what you are talking about, “Song Xueyun said before leaving for her room.

“Yunyun, give me a chance, “Han Nanxian said, holding her hand.

“About ?” Song Xueyun cocked her brow.

“Us, “Han Nanxian said without wasting another moment.

Song Xueyun scoffed at his audacity. “You are asking me to be your best friend again and get my heart broken? No, thank you. You may not know but when a best friend breaks your heart it hurts more than when a lover does.”

“This time you can break my heart, “Han Nanxian said. Last time, he broke his own heart. “Also, you were not in love with Lu Xuan. He was just a crush.”

Song Xueyun glared at him. “He is my first love.”

“He was your first crush. There is a difference between the two, “Han Nanxian said with a sigh. “You just confused the two things.”

“You don’t know what you are talking about, “Song Xueyun said, glaring at him. “I was heartbroken when I found out that he liked some other girl.”

“But you guys are still close friends. How can you be friends with your first love?” Han Nanxian said. “He had been single for so many years. You never asked him out. He would have said yes if you had asked him because like you that guy also lives in confusion. At one point, maybe he had a crush on you too but then he realised that you were just his close friend nothing more. It’s common in teenage years.”

Song Xueyun looked at him in horror. “You know if I was not sharing my apartment with you, I would have thrown you out of here. Thank your lucky stars that I didn’t throw you out of the window.”

“Yunyun, stop running away from the truth, “Han Nanxian said.

“You don’t know shit about my life and here you are judging me.”