"If I am shameless… I would've done it," Maxen murmured, lying flat on the bed. "I feel sad about it."
Cosette slowly turned her head, lying beside him. She could see the regret while staring at his side profile, sighing.
"I'm sorry?" her voice was meek and sorry.
Maxen turned his head. "Why?"
"Because I don't stop you?"
"You know that is not something you should be sorry for, right?" he remarked, sporting a knowing look. "I am also at fault here. I should learn how to control myself even more."
Maxen looked back at the ceiling while Cosette stared at him for a moment before peeling her gaze from him. Both of them are at fault, and they knew that. Conrad already told them about the rules, but they just found loopholes. Now, they realized they were the ones suffering.
They should've listened. After all, when they crossed the line the first time, they could never go back. They just kept wanting more and more.
Earlier, although they enjoyed each other and did the usual to release the heat that had built up within them, they knew this would be the last time they would do it. The next time? Maxen could swear he might not control himself anymore. At least, not now. He was too vulnerable at the moment.
Follow on NovᴇlEnglish.nᴇtThere was a long silence between them, just staring at the ceiling without moving a muscle.
"How was your therapy?" she asked to break the prolonged silence between them. "I'm just asking since we need something to talk about."
How she wished to have forgotten the taste of Maxen Devilsin. That man was like a poison that left her hooked. Even the younger version of himself was like that, and a part of her felt slightly embarrassed because whether she admitted it or not, Cosette had a mind of a grown woman. She was almost twice her original age!
"Doing great so far… that's what my doctor said," Maxen answered without a second hesitation, as he would still attend his therapies regularly. "I believe him. If not for him, I wouldn't have the self-control I have now. So we should thank him."
'No way!' was the natural thought that came into her head, but bit her tongue to stop herself.
"You are like a wildcat, Cozie. I think we should stop going into each other's room from now on," he proposed, unable to conceal the sadness in his eyes. "Although I had grown used to your presence every night, it's not safe anymore."
"As much as I hate to agree, I think you are right." Cosette couldn't help but frown with her voice full of reluctance. "I learned my lesson tonight."
Both of them let out a deep sigh, a bit sad about the only solution they could have now. They were both young, and she had to admit that. Cosette had to believe her own reasoning so as to feel less reluctant about it.
Back then, the foundation of her relationship with Maxen was sex. They would do it anywhere. They both enjoyed it. However, the downside of that was that they both had to refrain from adding more feelings and emotions to it, which eventually led to the ruin of their wild relationship.
She had to do it right. They had to do it right. Not that they hadn't been doing just fine, but it was better to delay some things and focus on themselves and their feelings. They were still young, after all. Their foundation should center on love, and not lust. In that case, whatever hurdle would come their way, they would emerge from it stronger together.
"Should I go back to my room?" she spoke again, rolling to her side and facing him squarely. "But I'm not ready. I feel like I am going to be separated from you and it breaks my heart."
Maxen looked back at her, and his heart instantly melted. Until now, he wondered where he had gotten the courage or the heart to refuse earlier.
"Sleep here tonight then." He smiled, rolling to his side to face her as well. He raised a hand, cupping her face. "I don't want to think that the only way to say you are completely mine is through… you know."
"Did I do anything that made you think I am not yours?"
"None, but with my pervert mind, sex just makes sense."
"Fair enough." — her perverted mind could relate.
Cosette sighed deeply once again, looking back at him. "How about we just do a trial first?" she suggested.
"A trial?"
"Mhm. Like we try if separating will work?" she explained the simplest way she could. "If it is not effective, then let's try to think of other ways again. I mean, I'm turning eighteen this year so… heh."
"Cozie." The devious smile that suddenly turned up on her face disappeared upon his call. "We can't do it until we get married."
Follow on Novᴇl-Onlinᴇ.cᴏm"Then propose…" Cosette bit her tongue, feigning innocent.
"We can't just marry because we want to have legal sex, can we?"
"But it's not like we haven't known each other," she reasoned out, only to realize Maxen didn't know her as well. Cosette was already sure of Maxen because she still loved him despite seeing his worst version. The reasoning was convincing until a thought crossed her mind.
"Wait." Her brows knitted while his brows rose. "Don't tell me you don't want to marry me because you're still not sure about me?"
"Of course not."
"Then why?"
"Cozie, we're still young. We cannot just rush things because change is the only constant thing in the world."
"So… I'm right?" Cosette pushed herself to sit up. "Max, you're still not sure of me? Or rather, you are not sure that this relationship would even work?"
"Cosette."
"I'm disappointed, Max." She frowned, definitely displeased at the conclusion she had in her head. "I never doubted us since day one. Never. If you asked my hand now, I wouldn't worry about tomorrow and just say yes, because I know we will work it out together."
She shook her head mildly whilst keeping her gaze on him. "I wouldn't even think of divorce or anything like that."
"Cozie…" Maxen lurched slightly to hold her hand, but Cosette jumped out of the bed. "Baby, it's not like that."
Cosette simply glared at him and scoffed before walking out, avoiding Maxen from reaching her. She looked back at him when he called again, seeing him stand up from his side of the bed.
"Tch." Cosette just clicked her tongue in irritation before walking out of the room, saying nothing further.