Shadows In Durango

Chapter 117

*:kkxG0fig's POV*Fkkx

"| feel terrible!" | whisper out in a breath, only loud enough for myself to hear it, before | sink back down in to my

chair.

The moment Vincent walked away, | felt empty once again, the waiting room being a tforto fully look

back and reflect on everything that had happened - everything | had done wrong.

His absence was immediate, as if the air had been sucked out of the space as though he couldn't stand to be

around us for a second longer. He left us behind with nothing but the oppressive stillness and the dull hum of the

hospital machines running in the background.

Luckily Emma had broughtpyjamas to wear (proper ones) not like the scratchy fabric | was found in and as

for my matted hair and bruised up body, there wasn't much to be done with that right now...

I swallow hard, annoyed that | somehow thought | would feel back to my normal self the second | was out of

there and away from Ashton, but right now, | probably felt worse...

Worse knowing that | had hurt so many people with my foolishness and stupidity!

Reid hadn't moved either, his leg still bouncing nervously as he stared down at the floor, clearly worried for his

friend, and | could see the tension settled in his jaw, the sunspoken fear that was gripping all of us. Daryl

was still in surgery, still fighting for his life and it was all my fucking fault.

| tried to blink back the tears burning the corners of my eyes, but it was no use. The pressure had been building

for way too long, and now that Vincent had been and gone, there was nothing left to holdtogether. Emma

squeezed my hand gently, like she could sense the storm brewing inside me, but even her quiet support couldn't

stop the flood from coming.

| covered my face with my hands, my chest tightening as the sobs eventually broke free. "This is all my fault," |

whispered louder, my voice cracking under the weight of the words.

Emma immediately shifted closer to me, wrapping her arms around me, but her embrace only made the guilt

worsen. "Sofia, no "

"It is!" | choked, pulling away from her. The tears were falling freely now, hot and fast, and | couldn't begin to

control them.

| didn't care who saw me. | didn't care about anything except the overwhelming guilt eatingalive from the

inside out.

"If I hadn't left Vincent's house that night... if | would have just stayed to talk things out with him... If | hadn't

have been stupid enough to walk down that street alone so late at night... if | had just told Vincent about Ashton

being in town... none of this would've ever happened to us!" My voice grows with each explanation, each one

acting like a punch of reality.

This was all because of me...

Emma shook her head, her eyes soft with sympathy. "You couldn't have known any of this would have _"

"I should have known!" | screamed, startling both Emma and Reid completely now.

"I should have known he was the sasshole from before! Every damn sign was there to alertthat |

wouldn't be safe here with him in town and | just ignored it!" | continue on, ignoring the nurses who stare and

whisper nearby - no doubt worried about my current mental state.

But I didn't care!

The sharpness of my voice cut through the room, but I couldn't stop it. The words had been locked up inside me

for hours, and now they were spilling out, raw and jagged.

"Now Daryl might die in there, and it's all my fault!" | choke out, allowing for my head to fall forward back in to

my hands as | cry relentlessly.

| won't ever forgive myself for causing so much pain to those who stepped up to helpwhen my life was

falling apart...

| ruined everything | had here... the life | had carefully tried to rebuild for myself... all gone!

Why would any of them even want to keeparound after this? | was a danger to them all at this point! My life

was a curse, a disease that might infect each and every last one of them!

| felt my chest heave as the memories crashed over me, one after the other. Ashton grabbing me, the

suffocating fear as he draggedinto that dark basement, the blind terror of being trapped there, helpless and

alone. Daryl bursting in to save me, taking a bullet that was no doubt meant for me, because | was hiding out on

the roof too scared to fight back and face him for myself...

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"Sofia, none of us could've seen this coming. Ashton is a fucking psycho. This wasn't your fault, and Daryl would

say the same!" Reid speaks out next, as | shake my head at his words in total disagreement.

| thought of Vincent, his face a mixture of pain and regret when he had walked in here.

He hadn't looked atthe sway.

He had barely spoken towhen he got here, wouldn't even lettouch him... And why would he?

| was the reason his best friend was in that hospital bed, hooked up to machines, fighting to stay alive. | was the

wedge that had landed between them both before all of this too. Their relationship hadn't been the same, both

fighting over stupid littleand for what?

| was a disgrace to the both of them!

Vincent blamed me. | could see it in his eyes, in the way he pulled away from me.

But the worst part was that | blamed myself for it all too.

It was my fault.

All of it.

"I don't deserve any of you," | whispered, my voice barely audible now as the sobs gave way to a quiet, hollow

despair as | finally look up again. "I'm the reason this happened. I'm the reason Daryl's in there. I'm the reason

Vincent got arrested. I-I ruined everything in all of your lives."

Emma suddenly latched herself on to me, huggingtighter than ever before, but her warmth couldn't reach