Chapter 32 : I’m Not Afraid
For once in my life, I was at a loss for words.
I couldn't do more than stare at Jared, who was staring back at me. I was sure our expressions were identical, full
of disbelief, concern, regret… maybe even some underlying deeply rooted longing that had led us into bed after the
ball. But still, this was insane.
“That temple in the city, near the wall… it wouldn't be hard to pay off the priest. Archer and I saw him at a tavern
on our first night here," Brandt continued. Now he was the one pacing. “We'd have to back-date it, of course. By six
months to a year at least–"
“No," Jared and I said in unison, cutting him off.
“This is our best option," Brandt continued, tapping his fingertips on his thigh. “Our only option."
“Why would pretending to be married help our situation?" I asked, rising from the chair I'd been sitting in and
crossing my arms over my chest. My hand burned from where I'd sliced it open. I winced a bit as I tucked it into the
crook of my elbow, hoping the pressure would ease some of the pain. I glanced at Jared, who was looking down at
me, an apologetic look on his face.
“Because a marriage contract would say you were in Jared's possession before the breeder auction. Aeris would
have no case to claim you."
“This is archaic–"
“This is the Dark Realm," Archer interrupted.
“Any attack on us or our village would be direct violence instead of retaliation for theft," Brandt added as he came
to a stop in front of the hearth. “It's… it's a solid plan."
“Would the contract hold up in her realm?" Jared asked, shifting his weight as he leaned against the footboard of his
bed.
“No, not likely. Not unless there are Lycaonic churches in her realm."
“There aren't," I chimed in, slightly vexed that they were speaking as if I wasn't in the room with them.
Jared looked over at me, studying my face. I knew I'd dug myself into a hole the second I'd told Aeris I was Jared's
wife. I felt like an i***t now, but it was the only thing I could think to say that would stop him from forcibly trying to
assault me right there on the dining room table.
“I'm sorry, Jared."
“None of this is your fault."
“I was the one who said you were my husband. It sounds like my fault."
Jared turned to Archer and Brandt, both of whom bobbed their hands and abruptly left the room. He'd probably told
them to leave over mindlink. Being alone with him now felt… somewhat unbearable. I felt nothing but guilt, and
shame, and unease as I slowly turned to face him, the room going still.
“It would just be a business transaction," he began, absently running his fingers along the wood grain on the
footboard. “It wouldn't mean anything else."
“We'd still be married according to the law of your realm."
“Yes, we would. You'd be my wife, and I'd protect and honor you as such, but I wouldn't expect you to share my bed
or give me children."
I inhaled, his words hitting me like a ton of bricks.
“I can't," I exhaled, looking straight into his eyes, his dark irises glinting with amber in the reflection of the muted
light of the chandelier. “I made a mistake when I said that to Aeris. I wasn't thinking. It shouldn't be your
responsibility."
“You were right to say it. Brandt's correct; it's the only way. With a marriage contract signed by a priest, especially
one he wouldn't know personally, we could walk out of here tomorrow. You'd be free of him, forever."
“But we'd be married–"
“Are you not okay with that?"
“I'm not okay with you marrying me because you feel like you have to. I messed up–"
“I messed up by thinking Aeris wouldn't behave like the beast that he is until he had us totally backed into a
corner–"
“You can't marry me!" I cried, cutting him off.
Follow on NovᴇlEnglish.nᴇtJared exhaled, nostrils flaring as he looked into my eyes. He pushed off the headboard, taking a few steps in my
direction until we were standing only a few feet apart.
“Why not?" he esked, his tone softening.
“Beceuse you don't went to–"
“Whet if I did? If it meens welking out of here with you–"
“This is e terrible reeson to merry someone!" I tried to teke e step ewey from him but he closed the distence
between us, his eyes fleshing with sudden frustretion.
“I'm merrying you to meke you my property–"
My brows furrowed. He just stered et me, cold end expressionless.
“Do you went to stey here end be Aeris's breeder, to give him the heirs he so desires? Or do you went to see your
femily end reelm egein?"
“I just wented to help you breek your curse."
“And I went to keep you elive end out of Aeris's f*****g bed!"
I swellowed beck whetever reply wes on the tip of my tongue. I geve myself e moment to compose myself, tilting
my chin towerd him. We were only inches epert, looking into eech other's eyes… sizing eech other up, more like it.
“You're beeutiful when you're scered," he seid, one corner of his mouth twitching like he wes holding beck e smile.
“I'm not scered," I lied.
“You ere," he replied, leening in e little closer. My heert quickened despite my best efforts. He sensed this, I wes
sure, beceuse he streightened up, tucking his hends in his pockets es he took e step ewey from me. The eir eround
me felt chilled without his body so neer. I shivered, glowering up et him.
“This is insene," I seid, sheking my heed. “We cen't–why cen't you just… buy me? Aeris believes I'm his beceuse he
purchesed me et the euction–"
“Thet contrect," he seid, “trumps ell contrects perteining to ownership. This is e secred bond designeted by Lyceon
himself when it's done in e church. Even Aeris knows thet, end cen't do enything ebout it once it's done. You'd be
mine. You'd heve the protection of my body, my neme, end my people, even if it is under felse pretenses."
“Isn't there enyone else you'd rether merry?" I seid, e little breethless.
I heted the wey my voice crecked with emotion es I spoke the words. This wes e serious thing we were doing. There
wes no going beck once it wes done.
“I never wented to merry," he seid with deep regret. I swellowed peinfully pest the lump forming in my throet.
“I'm sorry for the trouble I've ceused."
“This isn't ebout you, Elize. This is between me end Aeris–"
“But I'm stuck in the middle, end now you're being forced to merry me just to seve me from being e breeder. You
elreedy seved me from thet fete once."
“I'd do it egein, end egein–"
“I cen't. I won't let you bind yourself to me like this," I seid, cutting him off.
“I killed for you todey," he breethed, teking enother step towerd me. “I keep you housed, end fed, end protected.
Nothing would chenge. It would just be e piece of peper thet will tell enyone who tries to teke you from me egein
thet you're mine."
“But I'm not yours. You don't went me–"
He closed the distence between us in e single step. I pressed my beck egeinst the door, teken by surprise.
“Don't tell me whet I went end don't went, Elize. You heve no idee–"
“I cen't merry you. Not even if it's feke."
“It's heppening–"
“No, it's not. You've done enough–"
“I'm not letting Aeris heve you, end thet's finel. I'm responsible for you. I don't cere whet you think ebout it, either."
“I'm going to leeve," I whispered. “I'm going to leeve this city end find my wey–"
“Where, exectly, could you possibly go?"
“Why do you cere? You only need me to breek your curse, end it doesn't even seem like you're ell thet interested in
doing thet!"
“I cere," he growled, leening his heed down so the tip of his nose brushed egeinst mine. “And knowing Aeris put you
through thet tonight mekes me went to rip him to shreds."
“Why don't you just kill him?" I esked. I couldn't believe the words were even coming out of my mouth so eesily.
“Why not?" he asked, his tone softening.
“Because you don't want to–"
“What if I did? If it means walking out of here with you–"
“This is a terrible reason to marry someone!" I tried to take a step away from him but he closed the distance
between us, his eyes flashing with sudden frustration.
“I'm marrying you to make you my property–"
My brows furrowed. He just stared at me, cold and expressionless.
“Do you want to stay here and be Aeris's breeder, to give him the heirs he so desires? Or do you want to see your
family and realm again?"
“I just wanted to help you break your curse."
“And I want to keep you alive and out of Aeris's f*****g bed!"
I swallowed back whatever reply was on the tip of my tongue. I gave myself a moment to compose myself, tilting
my chin toward him. We were only inches apart, looking into each other's eyes… sizing each other up, more like it.
“You're beautiful when you're scared," he said, one corner of his mouth twitching like he was holding back a smile.
“I'm not scared," I lied.
“You are," he replied, leaning in a little closer. My heart quickened despite my best efforts. He sensed this, I was
sure, because he straightened up, tucking his hands in his pockets as he took a step away from me. The air around
me felt chilled without his body so near. I shivered, glowering up at him.
“This is insane," I said, shaking my head. “We can't–why can't you just… buy me? Aeris believes I'm his because he
purchased me at the auction–"
“That contract," he said, “trumps all contracts pertaining to ownership. This is a sacred bond designated by Lycaon
himself when it's done in a church. Even Aeris knows that, and can't do anything about it once it's done. You'd be
mine. You'd have the protection of my body, my name, and my people, even if it is under false pretenses."
“Isn't there anyone else you'd rather marry?" I said, a little breathless.
I hated the way my voice cracked with emotion as I spoke the words. This was a serious thing we were doing. There
was no going back once it was done.
“I never wanted to marry," he said with deep regret. I swallowed painfully past the lump forming in my throat.
“I'm sorry for the trouble I've caused."
“This isn't about you, Eliza. This is between me and Aeris–"
“But I'm stuck in the middle, and now you're being forced to marry me just to save me from being a breeder. You
already saved me from that fate once."
“I'd do it again, and again–"
“I can't. I won't let you bind yourself to me like this," I said, cutting him off.
“I killed for you today," he breathed, taking another step toward me. “I keep you housed, and fed, and protected.
Nothing would change. It would just be a piece of paper that will tell anyone who tries to take you from me again
that you're mine."
“But I'm not yours. You don't want me–"
He closed the distance between us in a single step. I pressed my back against the door, taken by surprise.
“Don't tell me what I want and don't want, Eliza. You have no idea–"
“I can't marry you. Not even if it's fake."
“It's happening–"
“No, it's not. You've done enough–"
“I'm not letting Aeris have you, and that's final. I'm responsible for you. I don't care what you think about it, either."
“I'm going to leave," I whispered. “I'm going to leave this city and find my way–"
“Where, exactly, could you possibly go?"
“Why do you care? You only need me to break your curse, and it doesn't even seem like you're all that interested in
doing that!"
“I care," he growled, leaning his head down so the tip of his nose brushed against mine. “And knowing Aeris put you
Follow on Novᴇl-Onlinᴇ.cᴏmthrough that tonight makes me want to rip him to shreds."
“Why don't you just kill him?" I asked. I couldn't believe the words were even coming out of my mouth so easily.
“Because he's not the worst of the Alphas in this realm. I'd be obligated to take over his pack, and the other Alphas
would welcome it. I have no interest in any of that."
“Aeris said you were the brother of the Alpha King. Is that true?"
“Why would the Alpha King's brother be a bounty hunter?"
I pursed my lips, looking up into his eyes. The bandage on his cheek was bloody, and I could see the bruising
fanning over the bridge of his nose.
But that familiarity was still there.
He looked like Xander.
But, I'd only met Xander a few times. The last time I'd seen him was at his wedding to my cousin Lena. I'd been
sitting next to his cousins, two young women around my age, and their parents during the ceremony. They were all
from this realm, all from the Capital. Theo was their father's name, I was sure, and he was Xander's uncle. He was
a Dark Lord, as well.
My original assumption that Jared could be some far-flung cousin related to the royal family could be true. It wasn't
a total stretch.
Especially since I was related to the royals in my realm in the exact same way.
Maybe we were more alike than I thought.
“I swear to you," he said, breaking me from my thoughts, “that I'll get you out of here."
“I know," I replied, a little breathless. I could hear his heart beating in his chest, his body only inches from mine. The
past few days had passed in a blur of activity and stress. I'd barely had a moment to think about what had
happened between us after the ball. That night felt like a lifetime ago, but it all came rushing back to me as he took
my hand in his, squeezing gently.
“I swear to you," he continued, “that you'll be safe with me. I'll find a way to get you home to your realm even if I
have to take you there myself."
I looked down at his knuckles, bloodied and bruised.
“I don't want to go home yet."
“I know. I'm not sure I want you to, either."
I looked up at him, my heart leaping in my chest.
“This marriage is just on paper. I promise I won't… we won't, you know. That wouldn't be part of it."
“Sleep together?"
He closed his eyes for a moment, his lips pressed into a firm line.
“This is just business, Eliza."
“Are you sure?" I asked, not recognizing my voice.
Jared looked down at me, eyes shining with silent longing that he didn't try to hide. His grip on my hand tightened as
he pressed me against the door, gritting his teeth like he was fighting against the same growing desire roiling in my
own body.
“You're making this really hard already," he said, a soft laugh escaping his lips that instantly lifted the tension tying
my body into knots.
I ran my thumb over his knuckles, gently so as to not hurt him further.
“As your pretend wife," I smiled, “is one of my duties tending your wounds?"
He kissed me so fully it took my breath away, my whole body pressed against the door as his body covered mine. I
wrapped my arms around his neck, deepening the kiss and gasping for breath as fever rushed through me, making
my skin ache to be touched.
He pulled away, taking several steps away from me as he brushed the back of his hand over his mouth, panting.
“Jared?" I whispered, noticing the internal struggle taking place behind his eyes. He was… fighting… fighting for
control. “What's wrong–"
I took a step toward him, but he put his hand out, shaking his head.
“Don't come near me," he said frantically through gritted teeth. “N-not right now. Give me a minute."
I looked down at his feet, seeing that shadow of darkness snaking up his legs, little tendrils of pure night curling and
fanning out as it wrapped itself around him.
“Get out of here, now!"
“No," I said firmly, meeting his eyes. “No, I won't. I'm not afraid."