The Princess And The Lord

This is the first time for Lory to sail in a real sailing ship, it's been a long time since she last sailed most the time she used airplanes or cars to cross the country because it's faster compared to a ship. The ship is larger from the outside it got three-level where the bottom level is for cargo and crew necessity, the second level is divided between the regular crew quarter and the private cabin for Bei Li Yan and the other, and Zhao Li Xin cabin is on the top level deck were used to be used for the captain quarter.

Of course, Lory stays at the same cabin with Zhao Li Xin but the man is avoiding her since they were depart from the dock, she knows he is angry so Lory gives him some space to cool down because she is afraid to make thing worst between them.

Meanwhile, she enjoys the night sky from her bedroom window, the sky above the ocean feel boundless, millions of stars bright up the sky, and the smell of the ocean tickle her nose while the sounds of waves against the ship soothe her dampened mood, it's a beautiful night if only Zhao Li Xin didn't ignore her.

Lory was alone in her room while Girsha already flew somewhere and Yang Xi Ying, Lory didn't dare to knock the chamber of the newlywed couple. Eventually, she got bored, she closes the window then search for her fur cloak, she lifts the hood to cover her hair then wear a mask before she got out.

The deck is empty only Mong Ki who control the ship, Lory was surprised that Mong Ki is multitasking, he is Zhao Li Xin assistant, bodyguard, assassin, and now a sailor? once again he proves himself as a reliable right-hand man, while Mong Yi is on the crow nest to look out the situation. Other than them there is no one on the deck but that also because Zhao Li Xin only takes a few close subordinated who used to served Lory like Mong Liu and Mong Gi and few other people who know Lory quite well because Zhao Li Xin wants Lory to be comfortable and doesn't need to use her disguised but still Lory feel hesitant.

Lory looks around for Zhao Li Xin before Mong Ki pointing at the front deck, she turns around and sees a dark figure stood there, his back is straight and both his hands clasped behind his back, his long dark hair fluttered by the harsh night wind. He stood still like a pole as he cast a long shadow behind him, he gives distant vibes that make people keep their distance from him.

Lory let out a long exhale, she doesn't like to prolong the problem between them also she's not used being ignored by him. Lory didn't know how to break the silence between them, she awkwardly says "Hi…" Lory grin awkwardly.

Zhao Li Xin glance at her for a few seconds then he fixed his gaze back to the ocean. She never treated coldly by Zhao Li Xin before her courage suddenly drops, the words she prepares in her head vanish without a trace. She doesn't know what to say but she doesn't want to leave either so she follows his suit as she gazing her eyes to the ocean.

Zhao Li Xin doesn't mean to ignore her he just tries to find the right words to talk with her, there's a lot he needs to convey to her, he wants her to understand what he about to say without hurting her feeling but after a half-day, he still can't figure it out how to talk with her instead it make it harder for him to speak with her.

Both of them immersed in their own thought as both of them waiting one of them break the silence but after ten minutes none of them is speaking, eventually, Zhao Li Xin leered on Lory's face to check her mood unfortunately the mask hinder his sight, Zhao Li Xin frown in contempt, why is she wearing a mask on the ship, is she still afraid what people would say? This is his territory, no one would stupid enough to make comments about her.

She can feel worried outside but this is his territory none would dare say anything not even in his back, Hei Shen people knew there is no secret could hide in front of their Lord so no one would dare talk badly about Lory unless they tired living.

"Why you wear a mask?" as expected Zhao Li Xin is the first one to give in.

Lory startled, she touches her mask then realizes he doesn't like her mask "Oh…Uhm, I don't want to scare anyone" 

"Which part of you is scary" Zhao Li Xin scoffed.

Because Zhao Li Xin dissatisfied tone Lory lower her head and slowly take off her mask, the faint light make her skin look paler but it enhanced the color of her eyes while her long wavy hair covers her side face as she looks down her long eyelashes flutter like a butterfly wing, Zhao Li Xin heart palpitated as he is utterly enamored by her beauty.

She tugs the strain of her hair behind her ear then she lifts her head nervously "Are you still angry?" she worriedly asked.

The wind on the front deck the wind blow strongly it makes her lips lost its color, Zhao Li Xin sigh he leans on the wood railing then he pulls Lory to his embrace, then he rests his chin on the top of her head "I'm not angry, it just….what is it called…..frustrated" 

"I don't mean to….I'm sorry" guilt slowly crept into her heart.

"I know you don't mean to" he pecks his head "But I…..I'm scared Lory, did you know from the moment I met you I could feel it that you are not part of this world, I don't know why that just how I felt. Sometimes I saw you like a mirage in a desert, you look so close but then you will vanish the moment I try to reach you" 

Lory put his hand on her face as he gazes into his eyes "But, I'm here…" she reassured him.

Zhao Li Xin caresses her cheeks "You are, at least for now…" he said with bitter smiles "I don't know why I always feel insecure, maybe I'm crazy or paranoid maybe I just being possessive but I can't stop thinking that you are here because you choose to be here and the moment you felt you better of all alone you will leaved me….and I know I don't have enough power to stop you or caged you, I don't even know if I could find you if you are gone…." He conveys everything inside his heart like a broken dam, Lory never saw him so vulnerable and helpless.

Zhao Li Xin circles his arms around his waist, he leans his head on Lory's neck and hugs her tightly like she would go if he released his hands off her. Lory never realizes Zhao Li Xin harbored this kind of feeling in his heart but could she blamed him? Of course not, she hated to admit Zhao Li Xin is entirely wrong. 

The guilt inside his heart increased tremendously, she wrapped her arms around his neck and whisper gently "Why you said that you know I will never leave you behind, you know I love you right…" 

Zhao Li Xin stifles "And I love you too…. Very - very much, but Lory you love your family too but at the end, you decide to leave them because you think it's for their own good" he released his hug then stare at her downcast expression, he lifts her chin gently and say: "I'm sorry, I don't mean to make you sad but I can't stop thinking that one day when everything went awry, you will push me away with the same reason you had pushed your brother and your friends away….or am I wrong?"

Lory mum her eyes widened, she had no words to refuted because he is not wrong, when everything becomes too dangerous and out of control she might leave him behind, maybe she would do the 'A' plan regardless of their objection. She doesn't fear death, but survived and carry the guilt and the burden, that's what she's afraid of so she never fear death as normal people would.

Then again, why she always think about dying, normal people would think how to survive first but not her, survive is never been her priority, the truth is if not because she doesn't want to leave Zhao Li Xin without a word Lory would have died a hundred time before. She should have died inside the ancient tomb, she would be dead when she fell from the cliff, it was Zhao Li Xin's existence that make her hesitant to give in.

She knew Zhao Li Xin's heart depends on her more than Lucas ever be. At least Lucas still let Fargo and the others inside his heart unlike Zhao Li Xin who only hold Lory within him, that's why this time she reluctant to die her heart always changes at the last moment. But since when she always think about dying? Was Girsha right, is she change after her Father's death?

"Lory…"

Zhao Li Xin baritone voice awaked her from her stupor, he gives Lory a helpless smile "I can't do this without you, I can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved, sometimes I wish I'm cruel enough so I can break your legs and arms and caged you inside my ring, you know how many time I want to tie you up and locked you inside your room and never let you step out ever again?" he said with a menacing gaze.

Lory shiver under his intimidating eyes but not because she's afraid but because she make him feel this way, it was remorse than afraid and also sadness, she just realizes how much she hurt him because Zhao Li Xin always complies with her decision and he always supports her no matter how crazy she is, Lory thought he was alright but who knew….

On the other hands Zhao Li Xin thought he scarring him, he immediately coaxed her "Of course, I will never do that to you, you know I can bear to hurt you, it just a crazy thought nothing more"

"I know, I'm sorry…I really – really sorry for make you suffer" Lory understands his feeling because she was felt the same about Lucas, when she knew what would happen to her brother she was running against times to save him, she always feel she's not fast enough, strong enough, tried enough, she felt like she was running from the invisible beast, it drives her crazy, make her life in fear every day.

Fear for coming too late, fear of failure to protect him, fear of the outcome, after years it become the only thing she could feel and it drives her right to the mouth of Lazarus.

 Is that how Zhao Li Xin feel right now? Then she has sinned.

"Lory let out a long sigh "What should I do to make you feel better?"

Zhao Li Xin mouth curl, his gaze soften "I want…you tell me everything about your plan. I don't care is "A' plan, 'B' plan whatever plan you got, you need to tell me, and if you make any decision whatever that is, weather is good or bad…you have to tell me, you have to give me a chance to figure it out the situation first and see what I can do about it…..you have to give a chance to try with all my power to save you, you have to let me try….can you do that for me?"

As if her heart is hit with a hammer Lory sniffles, she doesn't say anything but she nods vigorously. She promised herself she won't make him go through the same thing as her and she will not put him in a blindside like Lucas either, this time she will let him help her, for better or worst at least they will end this together.