1094 To marry him, not bury him
Her view of the world was as gloomy just liked the sky outside. It looked like rain was about to take over the city as dark clouds loomed over them, filling the space above them.
The sun could not even take a peek as the darkness dominated everything around her, seemingly even her heart. Finally, the first drop came as she looked outside her window, but it was not the rain.
“Are you ready, my darling?” She heard a familiar voice ask her. It came from her door where her father stood. Quickly, she wiped her tear with the back of her hand before facing him.
She had imagined a scene similar to this in her mind. Her father would stand on that spot, dressed on the nine, and ask her the same question. Then, she would answer him cheerfully with a resounding yes as her heart clamored with joy and excitement.
But unfortunately, that dream was far from her reality.
In the other scenario, she wore white, and the sky outside was bright like the sun could not contain its happiness. Today, looking down at her dress, all she saw was despair.
No.
She probably would never be ready for this day.
But instead, she answered her father. Yes.
.....
She could hardly see the light as her father guided her out of her room toward the worst day of her life. Despite the pain, she knew she had to be there. She had to say her final goodbye.
Follow on NovᴇlEnglish.nᴇtAs she finally ascended the footsteps of the cathedral, she felt the weight of her every step. It was not a stiff climb, but her feet seemed to have lead weighing down on them.
“Haley.” Her father called to him. “Is there something wrong?” Her father noticed that she stopped, unable to move forward.
Of course, everything was wrong.
She dreamt of getting married in this place, walking on that aisle, and standing in front of that altar. But not this. She did not want to sit inside in one of the pews, silently weeping with her tears.
It was not how it was supposed to happen.
Then, when she saw the people going inside, everyone wore black. The only white she saw was the flowers that littered everywhere. But just like her, they lost their charm and appeal. They were as dead as her heart and the man lying in his coffin in front of the altar.
Soon, hundreds of people gathered inside the room, friends, acquaintances, and unfamiliar faces, to pay respect to the man of the hour. She did not realize that he knew this many people. But she was not surprised, remembering how many people he had helped in his career.
“Are you ok?” Her friends asked her, which she answered with a nod. Many people who knew how important Gerald was in her life asked her how she was doing. Even her brother, Marcus, expressed his concern.
All she did was nod because thinking of a response was too much effort. She did not want them here. She only wanted the man she loved alive. But what she wanted would never matter anymore. At least, not today.
But only a few were aware of her relationship with Gerald. To most, he died a lonely man with no family, wife, or child. But he seemed to have many friends as the place kept piling up with guests.
Gerald did not exactly advertise their relationship, always wanting to keep it a private affair. No wonder not many people knew about them as a couple. But were they a couple? Did he love her?
“No.” Finally, she answered one person that asked her if she was ok. “I am not.” Then, he pulled her into his arms.
“You will eventually.” He assured her as he enveloped her in his arms, comforting her as he sat beside her, not in the front row, but just a few seats away from him.
“Thanks, Mike.” She relaxed her body into his comforting arms, leaning her head on his shoulders.
She stayed on the side, not acting like the widowed wife because she was not and would never be. She silently cried for her lost love, just like Mike had told her. The last thing they wanted was the attention to be on her during this ceremony.
“I am here for you. I know Gerald would want me to protect you.” He said as his hands gently caressed her hair.
Therefore, no matter how painful it was to see him go, she had to say goodbye silently, away from the spotlight. Because Mike was right, whoever killed him was still out there.
She could not risk her life and her child if they were out for revenge. She had to protect the only life that reminded her of him, his child. Her baby would remain a secret for now. As far as she knew, only Mike knew about her pregnancy and no one else.
“Gerald was lucky to have a friend like you.” Haley smiled, glad she had him to support her through all this.
Her father had long gone and left her to use this moment to promote his business and other agendas. He had never been concerned about her, but he needed her. That was why he was keeping her around.
“I think I am the lucky one,” Mike answered, but they stayed seated together throughout the ceremony, never leaving her side.
She believed she was also lucky that Gerald had a true friend who was now here, helping her get through this. She would be lost if not for him. She had friends, but they did not understand what she was going through, but Mike did.
“Maybe we are lucky because we both had the chance to love him.” She said, feeling her heart shattering to pieces once again.
“He loves you. You know. He could not say it. But I know, my friend.” Mike whispered to her before they fell into silence.
She had no idea how much time had passed, but she hardly felt anything. Like people were talking around her, but she did not understand what they said. All she did was nod, only hoping that the noise would stop and then she would be alone again.
She saw how the men in suits carried his coffin. Then, all the guests lined up to give him the final respect he deserved. Slowly, she watched them as they marched him down the aisle and out of the cathedral.
Follow on Novᴇl-Onlinᴇ.cᴏmShe wanted to run to him and hug him for the last time, but they would not even open his casket because his body was too burned to be recognizable. Besides, Mike would not let her.
“You have to control yourself. Think of your child.” Mike whispered to her ears, reminding her of the consequence of what she was about to do. That stopped her. She could not put her child in jeopardy.
Then, a few moments later, she watched them as they slowly lowered him into the pit. It took everything in her not to wail in front of everybody and follow him into the ground.
Maybe if she had not been carrying his child, she would not mind dying with him. She loved him so much that it was driving her insane. Maybe that was wrong, to love too much. But she could not help it. She could not do anything with her stupid heart.
“We will never see him again.” She mumbled into his chest as she leaned in for his support. She closed her eyes, not needing to see how they covered his body with dirt.
She did not want that scene to keep playing in her consciousness or even her dreams when she thought about him. She only wanted the good memories of their time together. Something that she would share with her child.
“Do you want to leave?” Mike asked as he wrapped his arms around her. “I can drive you back to your home.” He offered since he probably noticed that his father was nowhere in sight.
“No! I don’t want to leave just yet.” She quickly shook her head but refused to open her eyes.
Unexpectedly, she felt him move, dragging her with him. “No, I don’t want to go home just yet. I want to be alone with him when everyone is gone.” She explained to her new friend.
She wanted to be alone with him.
“I know, but it is about to rain.” He informed her. “I suggest we wait in my car until everyone is gone and it stops raining.” He offered.
It did not take long for the guests to disperse when the rain poured down on the cemetery. Nobody wanted the rainwater to drench their expensive coats, dresses, and mud on their shoes.
However, she also had to wait for the rain to stop before she could go to him. She did not want to get sick because that would not be good for her baby.
But, finally, she stood before his grave, not caring if water soaked her feet and mud clung to the sole of her shoes. What was important was she was finally alone with him.
“I love you so much.” She uttered the words she needed to say to him, even if it was too late. “I don’t want you to die.” She said as her heart squeezed with pain.
“I know you love me. And I believe that in my heart. And I know you love your child.” She truly believed that. “And I promise you...” She paused for a second as another wave of sobs escaped her lips. “... you will continue to live in our hearts.” As she finally cried and fell to her knees.
Then, she looked up to the heavens. If she had a choice and God asked her what she wanted at that moment, she only had one answer. She wanted to marry him, not bury him.