This Eroge Won't Make Me Fall!

With blonde hair and green garbs, a man with a face that didn't seem to be a day older than twenty sat up. His head ached and his muscles stung.

"Was the spell too weak? We did barge in, ouch ouch…"

He looked around himself. Red skies, wispy clouds, dried up trees and no sign of life no matter how far he looked.

It seemed he was separated from his colleagues as well.

"Stupid problem children, I have never met kids like this." The principal of the academy, Lushan, complained to the air.

He hadn't been in hell ever.

But he had heard from the professor of swordsmanship, how far the worshippers of Agares had invaded their school.

He had no idea how this was going on, even more so with the dead student, which surprised him that one teacher did. He wasn't surprised about the worshippers surfacing.

But why in the world would someone kill them all and go to fucking hell themselves? Just what was that bastard Eugene Hall thinking? And the other student…

He wasn't able to get a good glance at her soul, but it was likely the dead student.

"I guess I'll have to find them and figure it out myself."

With a sigh, Lushan shook his head and raised his hand. A staff appeared out of thin air, followed by an ethereal cylinder filled with magic circles, stretching all the way up to the skies.

"God of Fate, guide my way."

A giant needle appeared above his raised hands, scratching the distant clouds of the red sky.

A gust blew, and the needle fell.

It's tip pointing toward the east.

Lushan sighed and mumbled under his breath. His green robes fluttered as his body was raised to the sky. The other teachers must have noticed his needle and would come his way, and if any demon did as well, that was all the better. Lady luck should have pointed him to Eugene Hall's direction.

And so, Lushan set off toward the castle of Agares.

Not knowing at all that his problem student was looking to leave to the opposite direction.

Fate was playing a fun game that day.

***

"Quack… quack quack…"

With the head of a deer, a new demon stood in front of us. Sweat dripped from its forehead as it waved its hands around.

Every other demon in the building was staring at us, all of them nervous.

"Quack… quack…"

We were faced with a large problem.

"Psst," I leaned toward's Noa's ears. "Do you speak quack?"

"I don't know, aren't you the returnee?"

Hm…

There was no choice.

I slammed the table of what seemed to be a pub and stared at the deer headed demon.

"Quack," I said, pointing at my ears.

"Quack quack." And then, I crossed my arms.

Sorry demon bros, I am deaf.

I also pointed at Noa and did the same thing.

"Quack…" the deer head was sweating even worse than before.

I slammed the table again, just to urge him on. With tears in his eyes, the deer head shook his antlers.

Right then, one of the octopi in the room came toward us. We both heard his footsteps and turned to the side, making the demons even more weirded out.

"QUACK!" The octopus demon screamed. It donned a black leather jacket, a chain made of teeth and bracelets. There were even sunglasses.

There were sunglasses in this world!?

Like a true punk, the octopus came to us and raised it's neck.

"Quack, quack," It said. One of its tentacles pointed at its head, and then, he made a gesture of drawing a line over his neck.

"Oh!" Noa smiled. "I get it!"

Hm?

"He's asking for death."

Without waiting, she grabbed the tentacle and raised the octopus in the air, as if stealing candy from a child.

"Quack! Quack quack!!"

The other demons got of their chairs and all pulled away. I thought they would jump in but—

-THWACK! THWACK!

—All their bravado disappeared as soon as Noa started smashing the octopus on the ground.

Something fell out of the punk's jacket and slid on the ground. I left Noa to thrash it around while I picked up the object. With stones wrapped around it, it was a long piece of bone that had a skull handle.

"This shape…?"

"It's a key!" Titania said.

"Noa, stop."

"Hah? You want to save this guy? Get through me first."

"No, no, it dropped a key of some kind."

Noa dropped the octopus and rushed over to me like a child getting bored of a toy. No other demon in the room said a word.

"What kind of…?"

"We'll ask him."

I kicked the Octopus and flashed the key in front of him.

"Quack," I said.

"Quack! Quack quack!~" The octopus answered desperately.

I pointed at my ears and made a cross again. Sorry dude, I am deaf.

The octopus shed a few tears and crawled on the floor, asking us to follow it. The demons all slid their chairs and tables away when we walked through.

Leading us past the ashy wooden gates, the octopus dragged us to the back of the pub where.

"What is this?"

"Huh? What a curious device…"

My hands trembled.

With a skull at the front, two thick wheels coated with bones and handles that stretched out of the skull. Made completely out of bones was a thing of beauty.

"It's!" I gasped.

It was something I had never seen in this world, and even in the old one. An antique of ancient times from Earth!

The other two looked at me in confusion.

"It's a motorcycle!!"

Octopus! I was wrong! I immediately held its tentacles and shook them while the octopus scratched the back of its head.

"W-what's a motorcycle?" Noa asked.

"I don't know, it looks like a horse." Titania answered.

"Idiots! It's an antique motorcycle!"

"Quack Quack!"

What a lovely frame. Such impractical tyres!

"Does this thing even work?"

"Quack!" The octopus pointed at the keys in my hand and shook its head. The motorcycle had leather seats but no gas tank, instead, at the center of the skull was a small black stone that reminded me of a mana stone.

There was a small container at the back that opened with the same key. When I yanked it open, it held two thin skull helmets and a map.

A smile spread through my face.

"Hey, octopus…"

"Quack…?"

"We're taking this bike."

Even though we couldn't share words.

My emotions were carried through.

With tears spilling out its eyes like a river, the Octopus cried and urged us to get on.

What a helpful being.

"Let's go on a Road Trip, Noa Roselle."