Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Chapter 365: Request from the Gods

Hmm, I wonder if I could pick up the bread at the orphanage tomorrow evening and leave the city early next day…

It was after dinner and I am currently pondering over various busy matters over coffee and taking things easy for the moment.

As for Fer and the others…

““Umu, this white one is really good,””

““This is the one! Pudding is awesome!””

““Sweet cakes~ they are all so delicious~~””

…were all going crazy about their after-meal desserts. [1] I bought one for myself too.

Fujiya was having an Autumn Fair, which made me wonder if it was autumn in Japan. Thoughts of Japan’s autumn made me a little nostalgic. Therefore, when I saw the Mont-Blanc [9] on the recommended list, I just had to buy it to satisfy my desire for a taste of Japan’s autumn.

I paired the Mont Blanc with a coffee.

Umu, [1] the sweet chestnut cream pairs nicely with the sophisticated bitterness of good coffee. As I slowly enjoyed my coffee and dessert, there was a niggling, itchy feeling at the back of my mind… [5]

“Have I forgotten something…? [4] Oh goodness, the Gods! The offerings!” [5]

Ah, they must be really anxious now, I should probably take their request down before going to bed. [5]

I have pretty much completed all the necessary preparations for my trip back. Aside from the trip to the orphanage, there was nothing else on schedule…

Yes, let’s do it this way.

Please read this at dot com ~

“Everyone, are you there~?”

Sounds of running footsteps answered my call.

[8]

“Finally! Finally! I’ve been waiting for so loongg—”

“We’ve been waiting~”

“Yo–”

“…hello,”

“Whiskey! Gimme whiskey!”

“Kuu, it’s been so looonngg.”

[8]

The cries, they were cries, I swear, except from the ever taciturn Ruka-sama, of desperate people.

[6] Time to take control of the situation.

[8] “Ahem, well, I’m here to take your orders. Your package will be prepared tomorrow and you shall receive it tomorrow night.”

[8]

“Wh-what are you sayinnggggg–”

“Haha, don’t be silly~~ Ninril-chan~~”

“Haha, she’s just desperate since she ate everything two weeks prior,”

“…suffer the consequences of your actions,”

“Puhahah! Those whiskey lovers are the same!”

“Kuu… I can’t say anything back. How humiliating to be placed in the same category as Ninril,”

“I refuse to be in the same category as Ninril! We showed much better restraint. We only ran out three days ago.”

…Ninril-sama, even the liquor loving duo felt that it was a humiliation to be compared to you…

“Sh-sh-shut up! Shut up! I can’t help it, it’s all too delicious!”

The one at fault is now lashing out.

I have always thought of you as a Deplorable Goddess. However, is it me or are you getting worse?

How terrible, did you really gobble up three cardboard boxes worth of sweets and desserts in two weeks?

Ninril-sama, what is your weight like, now?

“Fufufufu, what a good question. Ever since she met you, Ninril has gotten more, ahem, fluffy. Now, I’m not sure if it is a good thing or not but during the self-reflection period, she managed to return to her original weight. However, now that we’re receiving offerings again, she managed to gain everything back. Her cheeks are all squishy.”

“Yep, yep, Ninril refuses to admit it, but she’s definitely fatter.”

“…a fatty,”

“Fumu, now that you mention it, I can see that she does look a lot rounder than before,”

“Indeed,”

“Nuoooooo!! How dare you all join forces to embarrass me!? Also, I am not fat! I- I might have gained a little weight, but just a little! Nothing close to fat! And Ruka! How dare you call me a fatty!”

“It’s kind of the truth though? I mean, your clothes are kind of tight…”

“Ku… th-this and that is… uh, a coincidence! It’s all a coincidence!”

…how could tight clothing be any kind of coincidence? [5]

“Ahem, Ninril-sama,” I said. “As a goddess, you might not suffer from weight-related diseases like diabetes or heart problems, but do try to keep things under control.”

“I- I know!”

“That aside, let’s hear everyone’s request. Starting with Ninril-sama,”

“Yes! Yes! Yes! That’s me! I want all the usual sweets!”

…what happened to the ‘I know’ from earlier? Also, the other gods and goddesses had more or less given up on Ninril, saying things like ‘Just let her make her request quickly so that she shuts up’. That’s kind of harsh, but I could understand their feelings too.

“Hm, I hate to admit it, but a fat little Ninril-chan is kind of cute. But only when you don’t talk. Once you open your mouth…” [7] Kishar-sama sounded a lot like the leader of middle school female bullies.

“Kukuku, Kishar, that’s harsh. You’re actually making me feel bad for her,” aaand, Agni-sama sounded like the second-in-command of those bullies.

“Heh, but you’re thinking the same thing too, aren’t you?”

“Well, kind of,”

“Well, everyone in the Divine World already knows how useless Ninril is,”

Woah, looks like the goddesses are trash-talking you, Ninril-sama. Not that you seem to hear it.

“…after all, Great Me can’t take out the Dorayaki, that’s too delicious. I can eat it every day, all day. There’s also Fujiya’s cakes. I want lots of cakes, all kinds of cakes. If new ones come out, I want them. All of them and… hey! Are you listening to me? I’m trying to have a very important conversation here!”

An important conversation? All I’m hearing is stuff you want to eat.

I really can’t imagine Ninril-sama being any kind of beauty with this kind of talk.

“Yes, I’m listening, Dorayaki and Fujiya cakes right?”

“Umu, and I want all the new limited edition things too!”

“I understand, I shall include limited edition items if available. For the rest, should I just choose randomly?”

“Umu, make sure they are all sweet things! I’m counting on you!”

“Yes, yes,” [3] As usual, Ninril-sama’s list was all heart-burning sugary sweetness. I felt kind of sick just looking at it.

“Next up is I, Kishar. I want the usual facial cleansing foam, lotion, cream, and face mask. [4] This time, I want all products for the face. It’s fine so long as it is a highly moisturising product. Please choose the brand at your discretion.”

“Right, I understand,” it’s always nice to deal with someone who knows exactly what they want and still let me make the final decision.

“Next is Agni-sama,”

“Yo! Beer for me as usual! I want the blue and gold ones in a box. Also, the set of different beers is pretty good too. It’s nice to have a variety.”

A variety? Ah, it must be the set of local craft beers. If Agni-sama likes this kind of thing, I could also include sets that compare local and overseas beers too. [5]

“I want food that goes great with beer too, like the organ meat food you made last time. That looks like it would go really well with beer.”

Yes, I must say Horumonyaki or grilled Offal does go great with beer. [2] So do the hotdogs. I don’t have any more sausages, but I could make more tomorrow, as well as other dishes that go well with beer.

“For the rest, just beer. I’ll leave the choices up to you. It’s fine so long as it’s beer!”

[5] Looks like I’ll have to rely on Tanaka’s Liquor Shop again. I should choose a different set of assorted beers for Agni-sama to enjoy.

“I am next, I want ice-cream.”

[4] “Ruka-sama, any specific flavours or other requests?”

[4] “Hmm, I want to try many different flavours. Give me ice-creams in many small portions, sliced cakes and anything that’s new.”

[6] “I see, so cakes and ice-creams…”

“And food too, the food you prepare for long trips looked good. I want each of everything.”

[4] “Oh, so you’ve all been watching? Ahahaha…” well, I did make plenty of food. I have no problem giving some to her.

Finally, there’s Hephaistos-sama and Vahagn-sama.

“Yes! It’s us next!”

“We have already decided what we want [5].”

[5]

“Ahem, first, two bottles of the Best Whiskey in the world, one for each of us.”

“Umu, as for the rest of the budget, we want different kinds of whiskeys we haven’t tried yet [5].”

“The more, the better,”

I see, so quantity over quality. [3] “Alright, everything shall be delivered tomorrow night,”

“Umu, don’t forget Great Me’s request!”

“I know, don’t worry. I’ve written down everyone’s request,” I said as I tapped on my notebook with a pen, both of which I had bought from [Net Super].

“Very well, I shall look forward to it~”

“See you tomorrow!

“See you…”

“We look forward to it!”

“We’re counting on you!”

It looks like I’ll be unexpectedly busy tomorrow.

[Gumihou: I really want to see what the orphanage is like]

[1] Structural Change: Combine 2 paragraphs

[2] Structural Change: Combine 3 paragraphs

[3] Structural Change: Combine paragraph & dialogue

[4] Structural Change: Change passive sentence to dialogue

[5] Delete Repetitive or Pointless Information.

[6] Additional Information for Aesthetic Purpose

[7] Add Dialogue Tag

[8] Creative Licence Taken – Match the dialogues with the gods’ various personalities. Also, adjusted Mukouda’s dialogue to a ‘professional request taker’ style rather than a general ‘yes man’ style. This would also be in character since a large number of Japanese are introverts and relied on shyako jire. Shyako jire is like a set dialogue most Japanese would automatically revert to when they encounter difficult or unexpected situations.

I really liked Japan, there are a lot of my people there. We don’t care about what happened to people around us and it’s perfectly acceptable to sit at a table in a restaurant alone. Everyone wears ‘social masks’ and is perfectly well adapted to act friendly in public, but there’s never a follow-up. In fact, it’s rude to come to someone’s house even if they say ‘Come over whenever you like~’.

Do not go. It’s just polite talk. You can only go if they set a proper time and date.

Otherwise.

No.

[9] A little history of the Mont Blanc in Japan

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mont_Blanc_(dessert)#/media/File:VermicellesDessert.jpg