Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

“Umu, let’s go hunting today!”

“What a wonderful suggestion. It’s not a bad idea to go get some light exercises after working on the dismantling for a while.”

[1] “I have to wonder, just what have you been ‘working on’ exactly,” I said.

“Catching thieves!”

“Maintaining the barriers!”

“Tch,”

“”I want to go hunting too!””

“”Hunting~! Hunting~!””

“Kuuhhh…”

It’s too early for this kind of conversation. Breakfast was just over and Fer suddenly came up with the suggestion to go hunting.

“Hey, the dismantling is still in progress you know?”

“Well, it’s over for us,” said Fer smugly.

“Indeed, we have gotten our hands on the most precious thing. Leviathan meat!”

“You guys…” I have to wonder just what kind of expression those people would make if they heard you.

This bunch of meat, meat, meat guys…

After two more days of removing the bones etc, we finally managed to collect all of the Leviathan’s meat. I understand that I am actually holding a lesser volume of ‘things’ in my [Item Box] since some of the meat had been eaten and some of the blood, scale and bones had been taken away but… it still seems like a whole lot of stuff.

“Look,” I said, “dismantling doesn’t end by just taking the meat away, there’s still the head…”

“We don’t care about the head,” said Fer. “There’s nothing good to eat in the head.”

The other three nodded.

“Well, the still head needs dismantling and it will take some time.”

“Nanu?!”

“Will it really take a lot longer? I am starting to miss my baths… surely we could go back by next week?”

“”Ahh, I feel you Grandpa Gon. Sui and I are fine, but the baths here are too small for Grandpa Gon,”” said Dora-chan with a tsking sound.

“Wait, so the reason you want to go back is due to the bath?” I asked, feeling astonished and gratified at the same time. Looks like I did not waste my time and money getting the baths expanded.

Still, it sounded a lot like he had sacrificed time from the baths just to eat Leviathan, as though it was some kind of brave and amazing feat… However, now that he knew that we had the Leviathan meat in hand, he was not willing to ‘suffer’ anymore.

“Hahhh… anyway the dismantling of the Leviathan isn’t over yet. The Guild still hadn’t decided how much it wanted to purchase since all manpower had been sent to dismantle the Leviathan. Not to mention-”

“Mu, just let those people handle the small stuff. Why should we even bother?”

“At the very least, I should drop off the head at the warehouse, especially since you guys are not going to be here to cast barriers anymore,” I said firmly.

“Fine, let’s go.”

I arrived at the Royal Capital Adventurer’s Guild to inform them of our (my familiars’) decision and luckily, they were amenable to dealing with the Leviathan at their huge warehouse. Elland-san was not one of the people gathered at the Guild at that moment, so I had hopes that-

“Mukouda-san!! And Dora-chan!! And Grandpa Gooon!!!”

Well, so much for that hope.

Elland-san practically bounded towards us with a huge grin on his face, his eyes sparkling so much that it was like looking straight into a spotlight.

“…and Fer and Sui too,” I said dryly.

“Aa, of course,” was all he said.

This fellow, isn’t he just getting worse and worse?

They say he loves dragons, but I get the feeling he has become steadily worse after actually seeing and interacting with dragons. His ‘love’ is becoming more of an obsession. He was also becoming more and more reckless…

“Dora-chan~ Grandpa Gon~ I missed you so~~” He was charging straight at my Dragon comrades and, to prevent a tragedy from occurring, I ran over to block him with my arms spread open.

“M-mukouda-san? What are you doing?” he screamed. “What are you trying to do?!”

“Hey, why do you make it sound like I’m the pervert? Have you forgotten what happened at Carelina?”

“U-ugh, things were different then. It’s different now!”

“In what way is it different?” I’m really curious to hear what he has to say.

“I haven’t been able to see them since those brief glimpses upon arriving at the Royal Capital! For some reason, they were assigned to guard the skies, just knowing that they are nearby yet out of reach is too much!” Elland-san was clutching his heart dramatically. “Do you understand this pain? This frustration?!”

“Do you understand that they avoid you for fear of your perviness?” I muttered under my breath.

“Ahh~ I just want to hug them, hug them a little bit~”

“I’m sorry,” this time I held up my hand in a ‘stop’ motion. “Dora-chan and Grandpa Gon won’t like it.”

“But-”

“In fact, they hate being hugged.”

I could just see Grandpa Gon nodding at my declaration.

“N-no way, but I love them~ I am so in love with Dora-chan and Grandpa Gon~! I want to hug them to my chest and rub my face-”

“Eww…” I actually stepped backwards at this gross outpouring of love.

“What do you mean ‘eww’ Mukouda-san~! That’s so mean!”

By now, Elland-san had fallen onto his back and was wriggling about on the floor like an enraged caterpillar, screaming and howling in protest. It was rather deplorable and creepy. One by one, members of the staff backed away to become one with the wall. No one wanted to have anything to do with this creepy and immature Elf.

I wondered what to do with Elland-san if everyone really left when someone stomped over to kick Elland-san in the waist.

“I take my eyes off you for one moment and you scuttled off! What are you doing here? Time to Work!”

Ah, it is the arrival of the great Moira-sama! All hail Moira-sama!

“Eh? Nooo, Moira-sama! I, I haven’t even touched Dora-chan or Grandpa Gon yet- hey! No, let me touch Dora-chan and Grandpa Gon—!!”

At this point, I’m sure everyone understands why I address Moira-sama as a ‘sama’? There is no one in this world I respect more than Moira-sama.

After that person was dragged away, I asked one of the employees who was still around where I should place the Leviathan’s head. After taking the thing out of my [Item Box], I quietly left the warehouse with my familiars.

Eguchi Ren: The second shot of the vaccine had been completed. I did not suffer from the side effects I had been worrying about, but my arm did hurt a little bit. Everyone, please take care of each other.

Gumihou: Thank you for caring for us readers, Eguchi-san~

[1] Mukouda being sassy after being excessively exploited seems canon