Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Eguchi: It’s been a while since we have an offering scene so it was a bit long, had to split the scenes into two parts. (sweats)

Gumihou: Added some details. Took out some repeats

“We are going to sleep now. You make sure to be courteous to the Honourable Gods and Goddesses!” Fer barked at me just before bed time.

“Yes, yes, I understand. Go to sleep already!” I said as I pushed at Fer’s butt to make him leave the room faster.

“Master, we shall sleep first.”

“Ah, goodnight~”

“”Ou! Us too!””

“”Goodnight, Aruji~~””

“Good night, Dora-chan~ goodnight, Sui-tan~~”

After my familiars left the room, I sighed and slumped down (carefully) on the hard sofa. Today was the second day of donation giving. Word must have gotten around that someone was giving out donations and the remaining churches we visited were less surprised, which was good, but they were also more prepared for our arrival, which was not good because those people would insist on making such a fuss of things.

Goodness, why do they have so many churches here? Multiples of churches and small organisations and, ugh, those worshippers of the God of Pharmacy were just… let’s just say they are not interested in money at all and tried to extort something else from us…

“Haahhh…. I want to crawl into my nice warm bed too, but I can’t yet.”

When I took their orders yesterday, the first thing they shouted at me was ‘You’re late!!’ and started babbling on and on. However, as a veteran, I already knew how to handle the cranky pantheon.

The moment we connected, I immediately said, “I’ll increase your 4 gold budget to 4 gold and 5 silvers.”

Luckily for me, Deplorable-sama immediately cheered and accepted the offer before the other gods or goddesses could negotiate.

“Curses, we could have gotten the Other Worlder to give us an extra ‘item’ instead and insist on something good.”

“Right? That Ninril is too foolish.”

Anyway, I did everyone a favour and pretended not to hear that. I even worked hard and ordered everything after dinner instead of taking my time as usual, so you had better appreciate it!

“Ahem, are you there? Excuse the wait-”

Thump thump thump!

Ah, the sounds of running footsteps…

“I’ve been waiting!!”

“It’s here~ finally~”

“Ou! We’ve been waiting!”

“Hurry, hurry,”

“It’s here!”

“Our long-awaited whiskey!!”

What ‘long-awaited’? I was only a couple of days late.

“What a couple of days! It’s been three days!”

“How rude of you to make us wait three whole days!!”

“That’s right, it’s important to keep your promises.”

“Especially, those made to gods.”

“Umu, such an important promise. Forgetting our whisky is akin to a great sin!”

“That’s right!”

My face twitched.

Relax, relax, these gods and goddesses are just anxious because they haven’t gotten their fix yet. So, let’s just hand over the goods and forget about them for the next month or so.

After calming myself down, I took out the first of many cardboard boxes from my [Item Box] and placed them on the carpet.

“Let us start with Ninril-sama.”

“Sweetness~ Delicious sweetness~ Come to me, my delicious desserts~ Let me eat you!”

Ah, she certainly sounded like some nervous sugar addict who had been severely deprived of their treats for too long.

I coughed and said, “As requested, I have bought most of the limited-edition items.”

Fujiya Cakes was having a special sale on desserts made with unique Japanese ingredients. On the list today were:

Okayama Prefecture Muscat Grapes

• Grape Mont Blanc made with Muscat grapes and filled with cream enriched with Muscat fruit juice.

Tochigi Strawberries

• Cream Puff filled with jewel red strawberry compote [1] and white cream.

Wakayama Prefecture Mandarin Oranges

• Orange Mousse Cake
• Cream Puff filled with mandarin juice infused cream

Kyoto Matcha

• Matcha Chiffon Cake
• Cream Puff filled with matcha infused cream

Selected Hokkaido Cheeses

• No Bake Cheesecake
• Souffle Cheesecake

It was a great celebration of various high-end Japanese speciality ingredients. I had ordered the whole lot for our dessert too. Though, while I said ‘our’, I meant ‘my familiars’. I only had a single Muscat Mont Blanc for myself and that was enough for me. It was really delicious.

Naturally, the Gluttonous Quartet devoured the rest.

Aside from these special, Limited Edition products, there were all kinds of cakes. Among the instructions given by Ninril-sama were ‘Big cake! Don’t forget the big cake!’ which was still ringing in my ears as I included three whole cakes into the list along with a large amount of Dorayaki in various flavours.

“Muhoo! Thank you~! Cakey~ cakey~ cakey~ my yummy cakes are here~~ Come here and let eat you~~!!”

The singsong voice was interspersed with the sound of a cardboard box being popped open and…

“Wait, Ninril! It’s impolite to grab cakes with both hands–!! Ah, why are you shoving them into your mouth!!?”

It sounded like Kishar-sama.

…I’m sorry, but what exactly were you doing, Goddess of Wind, Ninril-sama?

“Ugh, she’s not listening at all. What a problem child… Anyway, since we can’t do anything about Ninril right now, let’s move on. It’s me next, yes?”

“Y-yes,”

I quickly placed the small cardboard box onto the carpet and-

“Did you get what I asked for?”

“Not the first product on the list, but I did manage to get the second, third and fifth items.”

“While it is a little disappointing to miss out on the first choice item, it can’t be helped. After reading that feature article in the beauty magazine, I realised that I must put more effort into hair care. I’m glad that I managed to get those at least.”

That’s right, Kishars-sama had been checking out beauty magazines and had come across an article that talked about special ‘leave-in hair treatments’ that were supposed to be applied to the hair while it was still damp from a bath.

For a guy like me, all I could say was ‘such things exist?’ when Kishar-sama first gave me her request.

This caused Kishar-sama to explode all of a sudden and begin ranting things like “It’s not enough to just shampoo and condition the hair! For the most beautiful hair, I need leave-in hair treatments!”

“Uh, sure?”

“There are so many things that could be used as leave-in hair treatments,” she had gushed. “The main categories are milk, oil and cream, but I think oil suits me the best.”

Oil? You mean, like olive oil?

“No!” she shrieked, having clearly read my mind. “Don’t compare the inferior olive oil to the complex recipes and potions of your world, recipes created for the sake of beauty and tailored to specific types of hair!”

I have no idea what she was talking about, but I really don’t look forward to having to look through an entire list of products I have very little knowledge of-

“Here is a list of my five top options. I shall be very happy if you could get me my first choice on the list, but it’s fine so long as it is something on the list.”

W-woah, looks like Kishar-sama has done her homework on this. How… commendable.

I checked her list against Matsumura’s products and managed to find three items out of five. So, not bad.

Kishar-sama’s list:

First choice – argan oil based hair treatment, blended with various hair-beautifying ingredients. (Strongly recommended by Kishar-sama, but too bad it was not available.)

Second choice – a blend of six types of oil, will transform severely damaged and dry hair into shiny, full-volume hair. Infused with an elegant scent akin to perfume (so it smells nice, okay).

Third choice – made from organic vegetable oil and infused with honey and royal jelly. It was said to ‘moisturise the hair from the core’. (Whatever that means.)

Fourth choice – a slightly expensive hair oil that blends several different hair-friendly oils such as argan, camellia and marula oils that restore suppleness, moisture and shine to the hair (the description is very promising. I can understand why this caught her attention).

Fifth choice – a skincare-inspired hair oil that contains skin-beautifying bacteria that naturally moisturizes the scalp on top of having a blend of various oils said to be good for the hair (bacteria in beautifying products? Okay—).

After knowing that there was budget, Kishar-sama actually said, “I want all of them if possible.”

All was not possible, but I was at least able to collect three out of five items.

Kishar-sama seemed really excited about these new products. However, her absolute favourite was still the ST-III series.

“In pursuit of beauty, I plan to try out different products, however, ST-III is absolutely indispensable.”

…for better or worse, looks like this Goddess is on her way to becoming a beauty product addict.

This was it for Kishar-sama.

“Thank you~ right, starting from today, I shall focus on hair care! Beauty is accumulated through a number of days!”

Kishar-sama sounded really excited.

Looks like Kishar-sama will be consulting more beauty magazines from now on.

I’m feeling kind of afraid.

[Gumihou: Ninril-sama is…]

[1] the cream puff was filled with ‘strawberry juice cream’… uh, eww?