Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi-Novel

Chapter 287

Tondemo Skill - 287 - That's Really Unfair, God of Creation

Eguchi Ren-sama: This is the last chapter for the God of Creation

“Have you calmed down yet?”

“Apologies, I seemed to have lost myself for a bit…”

Maa, I mean, it’s marriage after all. While I’m sure those high school kids went through a lot of ordeals together. But… they are still, you know, high school students?!

To think they actually got themselves into a teen marriage.

Then again, they are old enough to get married in this world, so, I guess it’s alright?

Ugh, ugh, ugh! The reason I’m against this is my single statues!!!

Why am I, an adult nearing his 30s still single while teenagers are getting into three-way marriages?!

Haah… anyway, it’s good to hear that they are doing their best to adapt to this world. I guess I don’t have to worry about them.

Well then, let’s not think about it anymore.

Although it felt a little late, I felt obliged to ask the God of Creation something.

“God of Creation-sama, is it possible to get back to our previous world…”

“Impossible, I’m afraid not.”

Ah, I thought so.

Since he said that Summoning Rituals are prohibited, I have a feeling that we may never leave this place.

“Umu, the Hero Summoning is a ritual that basically rips opens a hole in the dimension. It is extremely dangerous. This time, the hole closed naturally on its own so it’s still fine. However, if the hole in the dimension did not close but continued to expand. This world and the ones parallel to it would be destroyed.”

[4] “In other words, the world would be destroyed,” [7] I sighed. [1] “Can’t you as a god do anything about it?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Just because I’m a God doesn’t mean I can do whatever I like. If a hole in the dimension appeared and expands. The expansion will happen immediately. No matter what kind of God I am, there’s nothing I can do about it.”

Oh? It’s that dangerous?

Well, I’m glad that neither this world nor my world is coming to an end.

Anyway, I’m glad to hear that despicable Kingdom of Reijseger will most likely be destroyed in a war. That stupid pig king and his cronies were the ones who performed the summoning. I hope the war wipes them out.

Clearly, people should not have too much power in their hands or it will go into their heads.

“Is there anything else you wish to ask?”

“No, it’s fine. I’ve heard what I wanted to know.”

“Well, well, what should I do about this bunch of idiots here…”

Ah, that’s right. Those other Gods and Goddesses. I was a little distracted just now but I suddenly recalled how angry God of Creation was with them. [5] [6] I mean, it’s a pain to make offerings every week, but I did come to this world with very minimum combat skills and…

“Soft, you are too soft! In the first place, these miscreants here did not report the matter to me. Therefore they must be punished!”

Uun, I guess. Since the God of Creation said so, there’s nothing I can do about it.

”Gununu, if you're going to do something why don't you try harder?!”

Ninril-sama’s resentful voice hissed in my head, along with a chorus of ‘that’s right, that’s right’ from the other gods and goddesses.

“That’s enough from you!”

That thunderous roar was followed by ‘nuu’ and ‘guu’ of dissatisfaction.

“You are all grounded for one month. No contact with Mukouda. Reflect on your actions!”

“N-nooo. C-cake… desserts from another world… what should I do if I can’t eat them?!”

“W-wait… my toner, milk lotion, beauty cream and serum… 1 month? W-what if I run out in that one month?”

“Beeeeerrr!! It’s all gone! What should I do if I don’t have beer for a whole month!!??”

“...sweets and food… sweets and food… sweets and food…”

“Nuoooooo!!! M-my whiskey!!”

“A-a whole month without liquor? How can I?!”

A storm of objections rose against the God of Creation.

“Enough! Should I extend your punishment to 2 months? Hmm?”

[5] The sudden silence was deafening.

“Good grief, what a troublesome bunch. Well, go back to your temples. Stay and reflect.”

The rustle of clothes and heavy thread of footsteps followed that order.

[7] When it was silent again, the God of Creation sighed, “Phew, goodness me. They’re finally gone.”

Well, it’s only for a month so do your best to hang on.

“Speaking of which, Mukouda. I have a request.”

“A request? What can a mortal like me do for you?” I’ll do my best for the creator of this world but I wonder what I could actually do.

“To be honest, [4] I am friends with the Earth God. We meet up now and again. I must say, whenever we do meet, [5] that god always treats me to something good. Perhaps it’s due to the [9] diversity of your culture but you have quite a variety of drinks there. Recently, Earth God has been treating me to something called ‘sake’. I believe that’s a drink from your home country?”

“Yes, it’s something from my homeland.”

“I believe you know your way around your drinks. I'm not one to beg but if you make an offering to me, I shall be quite appreciative.”

Yes, yes, I understand.

All things considered, I do believe that a big boss like the God of Creation would be reliable if I happen to get into some kind of trouble in this world. Giving sake for the promise of future safety is pretty cheap, all things considered.

I can just think of it as something like buying insurance.

[5] I opened up Tanaka’s Liquor Shop and clicked on the ‘Sake’ tab.

[6] “… …”

Like the whiskey menu, the ‘Sake’ menu cascaded down to reveal: Junmai Daiginjo Sake, Daiginjo Sake, Junmai Ginjo Sake, Ginjo Sake, Junmai Sake, Honjozo Sake, Ordinary Sake, Nigori Sake, Sparkling Sake [10].

To be honest, I’m not that familiar with sake.

Anyway, let’s have a look at the Ranking List. It’s faster to just pick out something there than to poke around on my own in this never-ending list.

Let’s see, after a quick study of the Monthly Ranking List, I chose three bottles that looked good.

Rank No. 3

Junmai Daiginjo Sake [5]

Niigata prefecture, the bottle bears the name of the shop that made it.

Highly popular with a gentle mellow taste. This sake is best served chilled to better enjoy its fresh and fruity flavour.

Rank No. 1.

Junmai Daiginjo Sake

Sake from the Yamaguchi Prefecture. Made famous as a gift to a *president of the United States and appearing in various anime and movies.

Sweet and smooth texture. Tasted a little sweet sake but with a sharp aftertaste. Suitable to have before or during meals.

*The President in question is Barack Obama-sama. It was also given to Russian President Vladimir Putin

https://www.asahishuzo.ne.jp/en/news/publication/004737.html

https://www.nippon.com/en/features/c00618/

Rank No. 7

Ginjo Sake

The current most popular sake overseas, recognised by a famous 3-star chef in Paris.

It’s a Ginjo sake imbued with the fragrance of tropical fruits. Mellow and sweet.

*Most likely this one, but it’s described as soft and rich with ripe peach aromas and contains a light fizz. The description by Eguchi-san might be wrong since I can’t imagine ‘eau de tropical fruits’ going well with French cuisine

https://www.saketora.com/blogs/feature-story/miwatari-junmai-ginjo-petillant

https://www.mtcsake.com/sake/miwatari-petillant-junmai-ginjo

I got all three bottles, [6] including the No. 7 since it’s popular with foreigners. You can’t get more foreign than a god from another world, after all.

In addition to the sake, I also bought a premium gift set of 12 canned snack foods that include luxurious things like sardines in oil, smoked oysters, simmered black pig and corned beef. [11]

I placed everything on the cardboard box altar and put my hands together, [1] “God of Creator-sama, please accept my offering of three bottles of sake and snacks.”

“Oh, do pardon me,”

“Not at all,” to be able to establish a relationship with the God of Creator in this world with just this considered cheap.

I don’t mind making offerings to a God like this. Compared to the others, this God has the dignity of a deity and trust me to give him the best. Unlike certain noisy and gods and goddesses…

“God of Creation-sama, thank you for your continuous support,”

“Umu, umu, yes, yes. I’ll give you some protection too. It will have to be a (small) blessing. If I were to give you a regular blessing, I’m afraid you’d no longer be human. Fufufu,”

“No longer human? Closer to god? A demigod perhaps?”

“Something like that. You’d be human but you won’t age or die,”

“Something like immortality? That’s kind of incredible.”

“It’s a blessing that all powerful people and royalties coveted. [1] [4] I once blessed a hero with this a long time ago. His immortality is recorded in history I think. By the way, immortality doesn’t mean the person will never die. If the body is badly damaged, it will eventually die. I believe that hero almost died in a battle against a legendary beast.”

[6] “Woah, I guess that makes sense,”

“In fact, I believe he fought this Fenrir’s uncle.”

“Eh?” Wow, if he fought Fer’s senior relative. That hero must have been quite powerful.

“Speaking of which, with this (small) blessing you will have the same lifespan as a high elf.”

“High elf? Just how long is that?”

“An ordinary elf has a lifespan of 500 years. A high elf lives three times longer than that.”

“1500 years!?” [5]

For a moment, the number bounced around in my head as I tried to wrap my mind around this.

1500 years? I guess, I won’t be too lonely since I have Fer, Dora-chan and Sui with me…

“It’s a good thing to have a long life. That way, you’ll find a love partner no matter how unlucky you are,”

“I suppose that makes sense but, wait. Isn’t it easier to just raise my love luck?”

“Isn’t that too boring?”

“Wait, no, God of Creation! What’s the meaning of that remark?!”

“Ah, it’s about time we end our talk.”

“Wait, wait! God of Creation-samaaa!”

“Farewell.”

“Wait, God of creation!! Please, instead of improving my lifespan, improve my love luckkkkk!!!”

[Gumihou: I’d take the 1500 years.]

[1] Structural Change: Combine 2 paragraphs

[2] Structural Change: Combine 3 paragraphs

[3] Structural Change: Combine paragraph & dialogue

[4] Structural Change: Change passive sentence to dialogue

[5] Delete Repetitive or Pointless Information

[6] Additional Information for Aesthetic Purpose

[7] Add Dialogue Tag

[8] Creative Licence Taken

[9] Changed Details: In the original text, God of Creation credited the variety of alcohol to Earth being ‘more advance’. Which is incorrect. Switch to ‘diversity’ instead.

[10] All kinds of Sake

Grades of premium Sake

https://www.takarasake.com/about-sake/types-sake-0

Futsushu or Ordinary sake

https://japaneserecipes.fandom.com/wiki/Futsushu_(sake)

[11] Yes, the Japanese do have canned goods as gift sets. They have canned mussels simmered in wine, yakitori chicken, grilled scallops, grilled yellow tail, smoked salmon, smoked mackeral, pepper bacon (cut into cubes), pickled eggs…

https://item.rakuten.co.jp/e-mon-p/kb-zera-10/