Chapter 49 49 Eva’s dilemma*
[Eva's POV: ]
Ever since I was young, I had dreamed of doing something like those heroes, unique people, and great individuals that my papa talked about...
He had a strange interest in stories and mostly those with a hero, a villain, and a world that was on the verge of destruction.
He talked about many things, many mythologies that he had heard during his adventurer days, and many times in our time together, he mentioned the story from that certain book that had made home deep in his heart.
He would tell me many times, for long hours, sometimes for entire nights, how the protagonist in that book, the hero Alex, was a reincarnation, someone who had memories of his previous life and his previous world.
He would emphasize how the hero Alex was a noble person, born from a humble origin but someone who grew strong with his knowledge of his previous world, used magic in a way no one had ever thought about, and learned to wield a sword from a certain master that he met by a wind of fortune.
He used to tell me how he also wanted to stay by the side of someone like him, serve him from his early days, and accompany him on a journey where he would start with the little hurdles, fight difficult opponents, help him achieve his goal and, see the sky after the storm by his side.
He didn't deny the fact that he would give his life if needed during their journey, but he used to say that he would prefer seeing an end with him, and when everything is over, find an end that he desired for himself.
He talked big and used difficult words that he had only heard somewhere but, he would also always say that he wanted to do something that he believed in, achieve something he dreamed about, and when he reached his end, be it in a fight, on a feathery deathbed, or in the arms of his master, he wanted to smile at the end… he wanted to smile when he saw his end.
He wanted to smile… he wanted to smile, at me. Smile at the greatest legacy he would leave behind, at his most precious treasure and the most cherished gem.
He wanted to smile…
'But instead, he took his last breaths tied to a thorny log, covered in scars so deep even undead would perish after receiving them, and with the worst expression a father could make while being forced to watch their young girl getting raped by some fucking piece of disgusting trash demon shit bastard.'
He wanted to smile, but the end he received had no smile, no happiness, no warmth, but... only suffering, utter agony, disgust, shame, anger towards himself for not being strong enough, and for having such fucked up mind that got enchanted by some good money.
He cursed himself to his very last breath for not being that person who companies the hero, for not being the father that his amazing daughter, I… deserved.
His eyes had almost fallen out of his sockets, those last tears of blood he shed, his face that was unrecognizable, and his last look of sorry as his soul left his body…
'I remember it, all of it.'
Even though I was there the whole time he did those horrible things to him, even though I was conscious when he did all those disgusting things to that young body of mine, even when I gave up on everything and my nearly dead father shouted that familiar thing he had said for countless times, for the last time... I was conscious, and remember it all.
'Don't lose yourself… and have faith.' That was what he used to say all the time. That was what he said in his last moments. That was his last request to me, the one that had to stay alive in that hell, be there even as he kills more innocent people like him, innocent children that had nothing to do with him, and useless pawns that were no use of him anymore.
He wanted me to never lose the only thing I had even in that moment.
Follow on NovᴇlEnglish.nᴇtHe wanted for me to always remain myself, even if I had to go through countless hellish situations, even if I never get to see the light, even if someone never comes to save me, that selfish father of mine wanted me to remain myself.
'And I can never hate him for that. Never.'
If anything, I am thankful to him. I was and eternally will be thankful to him.
Perhaps his words were the reason I never accepted that bastard pig's offer to become like him, perhaps he was the reason I did all those things in that hell, perhaps he was the only reason I am standing here right now.
He was the one that saved 'me', he was the reason many of the young children that could have died under that fucking pig's tyranny were able to survive, and he was the reason I was actually able to meet those heroes, those fictional reincarnated people with unique knowledge of their previous world, the two that accepted a broken doll like me as their family… the ones I wanted to protect with all that I had, and the ones that I wanted to be with until my end.
'And perhaps he was also the reason I was in this situation.'
I couldn't help but smile bitterly as I looked at the ground littered with the blood of creatures that seemed not much different from humans and their bodies that were either beheaded by the sword of the person that taught her how to wield a sword or the scythe and magic of the person that taught her about this word that she had lived in longer than them.
There was dread everywhere I looked, El was running wild, laughing with her usual pleasure-filled laughter, doing horrible things that I believed she wouldn't do to any innocent being.
Lu was also roaming around, beheading only male creatures. But the number he had killed in this short time, numbered three times El had brutally murdered with no sympathy, guilt, or any of these noble virtues or even filial piety.
She just crushed the trolls, the creatures that resembled humans even though they were not, had families and familial bonds even though they weren't the so-called humankind with deep feelings, emotions, and intelligence.
She was just killing them and taking pleasure from all the chaos she caused, and Lu did nothing to stop her, and instead, continued beheading more and more creatures that ran towards them from the back side of the village.
And there was no noble reason for their actions. They just wanted the experience of these creatures and their treasures.
They weren't the fictional heroes that saved people, helped them, did good things, and never hurt the innocent. The two also weren't evil or bad people but… they weren't good. And they certainly weren't the noble hero that was going to save the world and eradicate evil.
They were different, I had lived with the two of them and I knew all these things for a long time.
They weren't here for some noble cause. If anything, they would destroy this entire world themselves if it meant they would achieve what they wanted.
They were different from the people in the stories my father used to tell me and…
'I like them even more because of this fact.'
It simply meant they were true to who they were. And whatever they were doing right now, was what they would always do if they were in a similar situation as right now.
They had already warned me multiple times that I didn't have to come here or do anything even if I did come.
They had no need for help here, they could do everything by themselves here.
They had been preparing for this day for years now. They knew what they had to do and what they had to avoid doing.
They knew all that so they didn't need me today.
'Haaa…'
They were considerate of me to tell me that. They knew that the 'me' they knew would never kill these creatures who resembled humans this much.
I would also never harm the troll children that resembled human children too much, and the same for the troll females that were trying to protect their children.
'They knew me too well. Perhaps, more than I knew myself.'
It was definitely hard for me, but…
'I want to help them.'
That was the conclusion I reached after debating this grave matter with myself.
I wanted to help them. I wanted to be with them and accompany them on whatever kind of journey they go on.
I knew it wouldn't be a heroic epic filled with great trials and noble deeds that the world would talk about. It might probably be a dark tale forbidden in all domains of this world or a relatively normal story of two unique characters that did as they pleased.
It would be something different from what papa wanted, but, I never wanted something that he dreamed about.
'His last request to me was to be myself in all situations, and I never wanted to accompany some hero on his dangerous journey. Not at least the way he wanted.'
I wanted to stay by the side of the person I can serve, be with them as a person they can rely on, be someone like their family, and right now, didn't I already have all of that and, more?
I have the people to call a family, masters to serve, teachers that gave me strength that I had never imagined I could ever possess, and someone that cared for me and my well-being.
I have everything I wished for in that hell, and the demon of that hell was punished in a way even I couldn't have imagined in my wildest dreams.
They were the ones that liberated me from that hell and freed the children who I gave my all to protect.
My saviors, my dear Lu and El. I wanted to help them in whatever way I could with this life that was theirs from the day that demon died.
It used to be pitiful and only partially belonged to me, but after that day, it was theirs, and theirs alone.
Even right now, as they killed those monsters, El did as she wanted and killed everyone for pleasure, and Lu did as he wanted and finished as many of them as quickly as possible so that even one less creature has to go through the torment of being caught by his dear El.
Follow on Novᴇl-Onlinᴇ.cᴏmAnd he couldn't possibly bring himself to kill the children and females so he left them even while knowing what they would have to go through under the hands of his significant other half...
But he could not do it, and he also couldn't stop her from doing what she liked.
'So he found the way that suited him the most in this situation, and dealt with them his own way.'
He followed his heart, and she followed hers. And I also wanted to follow my heart that wanted to help them, and also not hurt these humanoid creatures at the same time.
It was contradictory and difficult when thinking about it at first, but now…
'I know what I can do to help them.'
After seeing them, I knew it now.
So, after taking a deep breath and preparing my heart, mind, and body, I took out the green sword that I have been using for a long time now, which, they were generous enough to give me after their first dungeon clear.
It was a good sword and after using it for this long of a time, we had formed this strange connection that I couldn't express in words but, I knew was certainly something unique.
Anyway, I will kill the ones that are coming at the two of them, and protect them.
I will only kill the males with that unpleasant appearance for obvious reasons like Lu but different from killing all of them like him, I will leave the ones that are hiding or have surrendered.
That would be my way…
"Smmmmmm… Haaa. Alright."
Scanning the area with my [Mind's eye], I formulated a detailed plan and used my [Area domination] to take control over almost the entire village terrain before me.
I knew it would be difficult but it was what I wanted and it was what 'I' would do.
So…
"I'm sorry."
I started my work by beheading the creature that ran towards El with an enraged heart.
She was individually killing the remaining children and mothers as they helplessly watched others die by the translucent bloody scythe of that devilish grim reaper.
She was being a bit extreme right now but, she was having fun, so it was fine.
The village was almost empty anyway. Just the last few houses that housed some of the biggest and strongest opponents in this place were left now…