Under the Oak Tree

Chapter 328 - 89

Maxi angrily rubbed her eyes. Though she wanted to do something wonderful for Riftan, she had neither the time nor the means. She recalled the bundle of her letters that he had kept. It occurred to her that she could have used the time she had spent writing those to create a memorable gift for him instead. Bitterly, she thought back to how she had deprived herself of sleep for months crafting letters she had not even been able to send in the end.

What if she would never be able to mend things with him? She shot to her feet and began pacing the length of the tent. Even if they returned to Anatol after the war, she doubted their relationship would revert to what it once was. And would they even be able to return home?

Suddenly, a suffocating fear seized her. She could not let him leave on such a dangerous mission without saying something, anything. Before she could organize her thoughts, she threw on her coat and left the tent.

A gale lashed at her face as she stepped outside. She waited momentarily for the wind to settle before treading through the snow. Evenings in the north felt a thousand times colder and darker than in the south. The nights were starless, and the relentless wind battered the camp day in, day out.

With whiffs of white vapor issuing from her mouth, Maxi glanced around. The night watch kept warm around braziers dotted around the camp. With the help of the glowing lights, it did not take long for her to spot the Remdragon Knights' banner.

She was about to head toward it when a hand grabbed her shoulder. Startled, she turned around, and an apologetic voice said above her head, "Forgive me for startling you, my lady."

Maxi relaxed as she recognized Ulyseon. "I-It's all right. It was too dark to see you."

"My apologies. I failed to consider that when I rushed after you."

As if to allay her fears, Ulyseon took a few steps closer to the light. Maxi smiled when the firelight dimly illuminated the knight's youthful features.

"Are you on the night watch again?"

"No, my lady. I was just inspecting the rear. If you tell me where you are headed, I shall gladly escort you."

"Th-That won't be necessary."

Ulyseon's face grew stern when she waved her hand with a troubled expression. "You should not roam the camp on your own, my lady. You might run into dangerous men."

Maxi rolled her eyes. While that might be true of other camps, the soldiers of Livadon and Wedon regarded her with a mortifying level of deference. Nevertheless, she was in no mood to argue.

She nodded and said, "I wanted to go see Riftan."

"Sir Riftan has gone to see the commander of the Temple Knights in his tent," Ulyseon explained, pointing in the opposite direction of where she walked.

Maxi's face clouded. "Wasn't the last strategy meeting… the final one?"

"I think he had something to discuss with Sir Kuahel privately. Seeing as the mages of the Tower are there as well, they must be discussing the best way to infiltrate the city."

Faint lines creased the young knight's brow. He seemed upset that he had not been allowed to join the meeting. Ever since he had been rejected from joining Riftan on this mission, his demeanor had been quite sullen.

Ulyseon raked back his hair. "Shall I escort you to Sir Kuahel's tent, my lady?"

Maxi hesitated, then shook her head. Though she desperately wished to talk to Riftan, she had no desire to interrupt such an important meeting. In the end, she made her way to the mages' tent.

In truth, she did not even know what she wanted to say. There had been an endless number of things she longed to tell Riftan back in Nornui, but now, she could not think of anything. He felt more distant these days than when they had been apart.

She laid out her blanket, feeling tired and discouraged from the long march in the cold. Despite exhaustion weighing heavily on her, sleep did not come. She buried her face in the sheets to stifle her sobs.

After tossing and turning for most of the night, she woke to find she had only managed to sleep a few hours. She wiped her face with a wet towel and combed her hair before bundling herself up and gathering her belongings. The sun was rising from the east when she stepped outside.

She stared over the shimmering snowfield, her face haggard, before starting for the temporary stables. All around the camp, the soldiers were already dismantling the tents. She slipped past them to where Riftan stood over her, clad in gray armor over a navy tunic. Her quivering eyes swept over his intimidating figure. In a flash, she Rem was tethered. Just as she was encouraging her mare to stand, a large shadow caught her eye, and she looked up.

Riftan stood over her, clad in gray armor over a navy tunic. Her quivering eyes swept over his intimidating figure. In a flash, she remembered their reunion right after the Dragon Campaign. Who could have known back then that she would pine after this man to this extent?

"I was told you were looking for me last night," Riftan said, coming closer.

After racking her brain for the words, she finally blurted out, "I was… terribly insensitive yesterday. I'm sorry. I just—"

"Don't apologize."

Maxi studied his expression. To her relief, he did not look angry.

Riftan restlessly swept back his hair. "I didn't mean to say such things. I don't resent you." He bit his lip, then added stiffly, "No, that's not true. The truth is, I don't even know myself. But I do know one thing — you were right to leave. If not for me, then for your own sake. I was… a mess back then."

"What… are you saying?" Maxi asked, looking up at him in confusion.

Riftan gave her a bitter smile. "Three years ago, I could not let you out of my sight even for a moment, and I know that made you feel stifled. But even knowing that, I couldn't help it. I tried to endure it, but I could not bear losing track of you."

He rubbed his mouth, adding in a chillingly calm voice, "I am of no help to you. For three years I've thought about this, and that is the conclusion I've reached. My overbearing behavior would have smothered you regardless of everything that happened. I see now that your decision to leave was wise."

Maxi's jaw dropped in shock.

After staring at the floor, Riftan spoke as if he were trying his best to sound gentle. "I'm not trying to be snide. I really mean it, so forget what I said yesterday."

With that, he turned around and began walking out of the stable. Maxi felt her whole body freeze over. Why was he saying such things now, as if this meeting was their last?

Her stunned face crumbled, and she chased after him. She grabbed his arm and snapped, "H-How could you even think that?"

Riftan looked taken aback.

Maxi's lips quivered, and her voice cracked as she forced out, "I-I was… only saddened by the fact that I made you so anxious. I hated knowing that I made you feel that way! If only… I had more faith in you… If only… I-I had been stronger… you wouldn't have had to suffer like this."

Her nose prickled, and she stopped as tears spilled down her cheeks. Clutching his clothes, she hung her head and said, "I-I wanted to change for your sake. I managed to do that b-because of you. I have always hated myself… but thanks to you cherishing the likes of me… I've finally come to like myself. I-It is because of you that I—"

The tremor in her voice grew worse as the emotions flooded her, and her face flushed. Though she had come to accept her impediment, she had never hated her stuttering tongue more than at this very moment. She wanted to be able to convey her feelings clearly, leaving no room for doubt.

She stared up at him through her tears. Riftan looked back at her in a daze. Was he truly unaware of how she felt?

Wiping her eyes on her sleeve, Maxi took out the hideous sword belt adornment from her bag. Though her face burned, she saw no point in keeping up appearances now.

"I-I will make something better for you when we go home," she said, sniffling while tying the tassel to his belt. "I-I will practice… and make you the most beautiful charm in the world. When it gets worn… I'll make you a new one. A-And when that needs replacing, I'll make you another… I'll keep making them for you, so—"

Maxi's breath caught in her chest as Riftan dragged her behind a tent. Backing her up against a rock, he hoisted her off the ground and pulled her into a passionate kiss. She felt her tears trickle between their lips.

His firm hand cupped her head in place. Trapped between an icy boulder and his steel-like body, Maxi writhed like a helpless lamb. Fire coursed through her frozen limbs. He panted over her lips as he spoke, his voice hoarse.

"Swear to me."

Dropping to a low whisper, he continued, "Swear that you won't do anything reckless, that you will put your safety first at all times."

Maxi bobbed her head, tears brimming in her eyes.

Riftan bit her lip. "Say it. Swear to me that you will not throw your life away."

"I-I swear."

Maxi let out a small sob as she pressed her lips to his, and when Riftan tightened his arms around her in a crushing embrace, she clasped back with all her strength.