Villain Cultivator (Web Novel)

'Oh, my Buddha, Allah, Shiva, Jesus, Exodia's Right Arm, Left Arm, Right Leg, Left Leg, and Head. What in the pink pussy is happening!?'

Everything happened so fast that Miaomiao was caught off guard. Several keywords flew over his head, but his dick-brain failed to analyze them.

Ties-severing, Luck Core, Heavenly Fate Fragment, Sentient System, Apostle, all these developments and changes made Miaomiao's brain.exe malfunction. If his brain was operated by a certain OS, it would have shown a blue screen by now.

Ding

[Father, your logical processing ability is unable to handle multi-thinking tasks. Please process one piece of information at a time since your semen-filled peanut brain cannot handle multitasking when you're disturbed.]

[I suggest you start off by giving me a glorious majestic name.]

"…"

While Miaomiao was still stunned by the overwhelming changes, Lu Fengxian rechecked the former's luck energy again. Upon sensing that everything should work in favor of Miaomiao, he was satisfied.

"Alright. You're no longer a vessel of that scammer god. Although I've forced you to become my apostle, you won't lose anything since I'm not a luck-hungry bastard like those selfish dao gods."

"Apostle, vessel, dao gods?"

Jia Shan and Ma Ping were interested in this topic. They asked Lu Fengxian to elaborate.

Lu Fengxian took this opportunity to explain the difference between vessels and apostles to everybody here.

Vessels were the lowest tier of a dao god's followers. They had no authority over their luck or their lives as dao gods could easily steal everything from them, including their precious treasures, cultivation base, family members, and lives.

Should a dao god die for any reason, he could always transmigrate his soul into a vessel's body, devouring the host's soul, and ultimately taking over the physical body or soul body. Even if the dead Dao God didn't pick the vessel's body, the latter could still potentially suffer from a karmic law backlash and perish along with the dead god.

In short, it was a slavery contract. Unless they had a benevolent dao god as their supporter, such as OG-Buddha, Kunwu, or the Sun Crow, vessels were generally expendable resources, who was always discarded first during a crisis. Dao Gods might give them something in return as a reward for their loyalty, but the vessels were fated to doom in the end.

There were other classes, such as Guardians, Generals, and Prophets. However, their ranks meant nothing as they still had to pay their luck energy to their superiors. They, too, were usually treated as cannon fodders for the gods when a major conflict occurred.

Apostles, on the other hand, held a major influence on their owner's reputation, charisma, and religious expansion strength.

Being an apostle was the same as being a legacy disciple of a dao god or a fate god. However, both master and disciple could share their luck, communicate through thoughts, exchange all their secret techniques, and borrow each other's five senses. Being an apostle was like being a representative and a double body of a god.

Due to the influence and the authority of an apostle, a dao god usually had one apostle while a fate god always appointed no more than three. As such, dao gods and fate gods always picked the best of the best followers to be their apostles.

Normally, a god only picked an apostle when he was curtained that the candidate deserved the title. Most apostles had the potential to surpass their master, so they upheld the fame and the future of such gods.

Yet, Lu Fengxian picked Miaomiao before both of them could even advance to the immortal realm! He didn't even thoroughly test Miaomiao's capability before he made the decision!

Jia Shan, Ma Ping, and Ma Moxi's jaws dropped. They gazed at Lu Fengxian, worrying if he had made the right choice.

Ma Ping glanced at Miaomiao while the corner of his mouth twitched, "Master, are you sure you want Mao Miaomiao as your legacy disciple?"

Jia Shan agreed, but he didn't say anything. He touched his right chest and thought of his dao god, Kunwu. The sword saint began to question if being a vessel of Kunwu was the right choice.

As for Ma Moxi, he stared at Lu Fengxian and Miaomiao for a moment. Then, he bit his fist, holding back his laughter, thinking how both of them share their five senses when Miaomiao was having sex with his wives.

Meanwhile, Miaomiao's face grimaced as he had the same thought as Ma Moxi. He wondered what this protagonist would react when he had a sexy time with his beautiful wives.

"Brat, I can read your mind. You don't have to worry about that. I have no intention of snooping on your personal life! I'm not one of those bored gods that spent their days watching Daotube."

Ma Moxi burst into laughter, but Miaomiao scratched his head to hide his embarrassment.

"Then, can you read my memory?"

"No. Only fate gods can read their apostle's memory. My current power hasn't reached a dao god's level yet, so I can't possibly read your past memory. Also, I don't care whatever secret you might have since I respect privacy. Unless you want to tell me about your secrets yourself, I won't bother."

Miaomiao was relieved that his privacy was protected. Or else, Lu Fengxian might have discovered about his system and the protagonist-hunting quest.

Then, it came to Miaomiao. What happened to the quests when the mysterious sponsor's connection had been cut off?

"I'll leave your case as it is for now. Ma Moxi, come closer. Your turn."

Lu Fengxian shooed Miaomiao away from Ma Ping's guesthouse as he wanted to check Ma Moxi's progress next. Then, he planned to do the same to Jia Shan and Ma Ping later.

…

Miaomiao excused himself and returned to his room. He finally had time to catch his breath and check what Lu Fengxian had done.

Ding

[Father, my name…]

The voice of the system was quiet. It seemed sad that it had been ignored for a while.

"I know! Let me think for a moment…"

What should he name the system? First off, he needed to verify what gender the system was.

"Are you a male or a female?"

[Whatever gender you want me to be, I can change it to your liking. After all, I'm your creation.]

Miaomiao rubbed his chin and nodded. Since he already had 11 sons, it would be better if he had a daughter.

"A girl, it is. Well, if I were to have a daughter, her name should be…"

Miaomiao paused. He thought of his cursed name and surname combination.

Cat Meow-Meow

The cat surname?

That wasn't a good idea. Instead of naming the system with a human's name, wouldn't it be cooler to have a STAND's name for the good old Jojo Reference?

How about Golden Requiem, The World Over Heaven, or some OP stand's name?

[Father, my name will influence my future abilities since I was created from your imagination. Please be careful when you're choosing a name.]

"So, you can be as OP as the original owner of these names?" Miaomiao was excited.

[An appropriate amount of Luck will be consumed to compensate for the great power that you've imagined. For example, if you pick World Over Heaven as my name, you will lose both your Heaven Fate Fragments since your stored luck isn't enough to compensate for the power.]

"…"

Naming became more difficult than he had thought. Miaomiao didn't know if he should trade off his precious Heavenly Fate Fragments for the system's new power.

"Can you read my memories?"

[Yes.]

"Then, what is your advice for the names? For example, how much luck will it cost and how to measure it?"

[Let's say, one Heavenly Fate Fragment is equal to 1,000. By having one fragment with you, you can absorb one point of luck from Heaven and Earth each day.]

[Currently, you have two HFFs and some collected luck points. To be precise, you have a total of 2,218 points.]

Miaomiao was amazed. He thought he had zero luck, but he had more than he had imagined.

[You have this amount of luck point due to the OG-Buddha's blessings. Unfortunately, Ding Bu severed the link, and none of the dao gods can communicate or spy on you anymore.]

[Back to the previous topic, using the World Over Heaven's name consumes 666,666 luck points. Golden Requiem (Evolved Version) consumes 77,777 luck points.]

"What happens when I don't have enough luck and I insist on using those names?"

[You will instantly die by either an accident or a natural cause. For example, a meteor suddenly falls on your head, or someone ACCIDENTALLY wrote your name on a death note, etc.]

Why ACCIDENTALLY? Miaomiao wanted to refute, but he wasn't in the mood to crack a joke.

"What's the best name you can get from my imagination and memory?"

[Can I choose?]

"If it doesn't consume too many luck points, yeah, what do you want me to call you?"

[Call me "Queen".]

"…"

Something didn't feel right about the system's personality. It seemed… odd.

"Calling my daughter as [Queen] doesn't have a nice ring to it. Are you sure you want that name?"

[Using this name will not consume a luck point. Moreover, it allows me to grow up and obtain a humanoid physique in the future so that I can slaughter some hateful bitches and baboons! Of course, I want men to bow down and lick my feet as if they are the most delicious butter!]

Yup, the system definitely had a personality, a femdom-S to boot.

"Why Queen, though?"

[No bitch in your harem can replace me. Therefore, I have the rights to be called [Queen]!]

"But there's already someone with the name [Killer Queen]."

[Can't I have that name? How about [Empress]?]

Empress?

Miaomiao grinned as he had an inspiration. He thought of various domineering characters, including male characters in anime, manga, and novels.

As Miaomiao thought of a certain character in anime, he came up with the right name for this ambitious system girl.

"From now on, your name is …."

.

.

.

JOHN CENA!!

Toot-toot-toot-dooooooo

Of course not. Just kidding.

"Your name will be…"

.

.

.

DIO!

.

.

.

[Really…?]

If the system had a face, she would have made the [Are you kidding me] expression.

"Yes. If you want to grow up as the most vicious woman, you'd better take up the name [Dio]!"

[Isn't it a male name? Is it based on Dio Brando?]

"Make it Dior, Dion, or Diocette then! I want to see you grow up as a gender-bender version of Dio!"

[…]

Miaomiao got this idea from an old gender-bending character, Bowsette. He believed that it might be interesting to have a daughter as a female version of Dio Brando.

He wondered what kind of fun world would the grown-up system girl ruin in the future.

Ding

[Registering my name as "Dion"]

Miaomiao pouted. He thought that the system would take the Dio name instead of Dion.

[1,500 luck points have been consumed. My time-stopping ability is at level 0 at the moment, but I will be able to upgrade it when you've collected enough time-and-space murals that I can study.]

[Ding Bu's Heavenly Fate Fragment has entered a dormant state.]

"Hold it! I thought it wouldn't consume my luck points!"

[Had you named me [Empress], [Her Majesty], [Queen], or [Godmother], it wouldn't have consumed the luck power. But since father took my name after Dio Brando, the minimum luck points have been used to cover for the growth potential.]

[Please be proud, father. I shall grow up, get stronger, get a humanoid body, and I shall Muda-Muda and Za-Warudo your enemies to oblivion!]

Miaomiao froze for a moment. Then, he disregarded the loss of luck point and nodded in satisfaction. That was what he had envisioned what his future system daughter should do. Now, he was looking forward to seeing Dion's sexy humanoid body.

[Of course, I shall not grow up to fornicate with you. I know what you're thinking, you sick father! You need Jesus, seriously!]

"N-N-No sex with this lovely daddy? You won't have sex with me!?"

[OF COURSE NOT! YOU SICK FUCK! WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR, AN ONAHOLE SYSTEM!? A WAIFU SYSTEM WITH A PUSSY TO SCREW!? I have my pride as the godly system! Although I'm supporting dual-cultivation features, I'm not into INCEST or what you sick nerds have been nicknamed it as [WINCEST]!]

Miaomiao sulked and shed a tear. He grabbed a stick and played with the soil like a child.

"My first ever daughter hates me… She even refuses to have sex with me."

[What kind of daughter is willing to have sex with her father!? Ugh, be grateful that we're not in your previous world, father. Or else, I would have called the FBI on you by now. Again, seriously, you need Jesus! Get a doctor, too!]

"Ugh…" Miaomiao cried.

[Haiz. I don't know if I should be glad or disappointed to be born as your system. Anyway, I have many things else to inform you about. First, it's about the unfinished quest and its rewards.]

Dion changed the subject and showed the quest, which Miaomiao had not completed yet.