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Will of chaos

Chapter 1111 Cap 1109: Magnus Part 3
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Pov Dragons of Light (Son of Rhaegal): 

I opened my eyes with tears marking my face once more, in the end, I spent the last 2 days near that calm river, for the first time in thousands of years I could have gone wherever I wanted, but I spent that time standing in the same place. 

"What is wrong with me? Why do I keep having these dreams? Why do I keep standing in this same spot?" (I) 

Suddenly not having anyone else to think about because they were all dead just made me think more and more about myself, the things I did in the past, the things I didn't do, the things I should have done, and the things I couldn't to do. 

On more than one occasion I wondered if I should have followed the rest of my family instead of trying to stop them uselessly as I did, but I could never bring myself to make a decision like that. 

Sometimes I think if I had tried to stop my father by going to the Dragon Emperor back then, if I had done that instead of trying to solve everything myself, I wouldn't have been sealed in that crystal and the tragedy might not have happened. 

Maybe if I had tried to convince my dad not to do it differently, he wouldn't have gone down that path. 

There are so many things I would like to change, but there is no such thing, the past is written in stone, I know it's a waste of time to think about these things, but my mind keeps being drawn back to that time. 

"It must be the dreams, it can only be the fault of that..." (I) 

For the past 2 days, I've been having dreams, maybe I should call them past memories, bits I don't think about often. 

Some of these memories were precious things to me, some I didn't care about, and some I was surprised I could remember, but for the last few days they keep popping up in my sleep. 

I feel sad every time I wake up from these dreams, but at the same time, my emotions feel calmer. 

"I haven't thought about these things in so long..." (I) 

For the last thousands of years I haven't thought about any of those memories, my mind was always focused on the same thing, that event that ruined my life. 

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One of the things I remembered was when I was still young, decades before I was able to take a humanoid form, I remember asking my father which path of strength I should follow. 

"I still remember his serious face when he answered me like it was the most obvious thing in the world." (I) 

"(What are you talking about, you've already chosen, just think the reason you put so much effort into your training and you'll know your answer.)" (Father) 

"He didn't want to let it show, but his eyes were full of pride, all my brothers were inspired by him and so they followed similar paths to our father, only I chose something different." (I) 

At the time I wasn't able to understand my father's words, I just brushed that conversation aside as if it wasn't important, but a few decades later when one of my brothers was attacked and injured that's when the answer came to me. 

My uma was stronger than me, he killed an enemy and was seriously injured to the point of losing consciousness, we were in an area full of Monsters and far from family people, I didn't even think about that moment, my body moved around on my own as I fought day and night to protect my brother, the flesh and blood of a true Dragon too attractive for those Monsters to resist temptation. 

In the end, I was much more seriously injured than my brother and even though I kept fighting, I wasn't even sure if I was really conscious at the time or acting on pure instinct. 

When my brother woke up he had recovered enough to use a spell to call for help, I don't even remember until today how we got home, just my father's smile when I woke up, he said a few words to me before leaving, I I didn't understand right away and when I did I couldn't help but stare at my claws with new awareness. 

"(Now you have your answer.)" (Father) 

It took me a while to remember the conversation that I thought was unimportant years ago, but when I remembered it was as if the pieces had fallen into place, since the beginning of my training when I was young, the only objective has always been to protect my family. 

This realization made me realize the path of strength I sought was not to be a shield to protect those behind me, but rather a sword to cut through anything that endangered those close to me. 

"But now there's no one left to protect..." (I) 

"You idiot, you still have to protect yourself." (Natasha) 

Suddenly I received a blow from above that made my Dragon's head hit the ground leaving a crater on the riverbank, after the impact I tried to raise my head, but I couldn't, it was immobile in place as if something very heavy was on top, but it was actually the pressure of an Aura that he didn't expect to feel again. 

"I didn't want to have to come all this way, you're not a kid anymore that I can beat into the right path, for good or ill." (Natasha) 

"Miss Natasha..." (I) 

"Ma'am it's you if you call me that again!" (Natasha) 

She walks on top of my head until she has one foot on top of my muzzle looking down at me full of murderous intent. 

"My Little Brother was kind enough to point out his mistakes bluntly and he even had to be called out by one of your father's victims!" (Natasha) 

"Even after all that… how long are you going to mope pathetically!?" (Natasha) 

"I... I know I should move on, but no..." (I) 

"Stop crying, you're at a tremendous advantage here you idiot, many who have had life experiences similar to yours have died without ever having the opportunity to get up again, so don't mourn." (Natasha) 

"If you die there will be no one to remember them fondly, honor the happy memories that remain and build something for yourself." (Natasha) 

"..." (I) 

Mistress Natasha was someone who stopped by our mountain home to fight my father just for fun, as compensation she trained some of the younger Dragons, her training was more of a torture section where we were driven to the brink of death. 

I should have known she would be around, I already knew the boy was the son of the Blood Goddess, which makes him Mistress Natasha's brother, I should have thought she would be around. 

Her final words were the only ones that really got to me, for the first time since I came out of that crystal a deep dread rose in my heart. 

"(In everyone's mind my father and those of the tribe beside him are unwanted scum, their names remembered only with contempt by all.)" (me) 

"(Really I must be the only one who still feels something for them other than hatred, anger, disgust, and contempt.)" (I) 

"(If it's not me, then even those memories will also... fade...)" (me) 

Those simple words made me realize that there are more things worth protecting like memories and ideals. 

"Just make sure you won't regret it, I don't care if you accept or deny my brother's help, just do something with a little will, you idiot." (Natasha) 

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Just as she came out of nowhere, she left out of nowhere, it seems that even after thousands of years Mrs. Natasha remains the same as ever. 

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Pov Zenos: 

I woke up naked in the garden, not sure how that happened but luckily some Fairies nearby brought some items of clothing for me and the two behind me. 

After getting up I had to carry Diana and Ibuki to their rooms, after that I went to the city where I find a food stall where my sister was eating. 

"I want 2 more of these...." (Natasha) 

"10 more than she's been eating." (I) 

I talked to Natasha about a few things, I was surprised that she spends several minutes complaining about the Dragon of Light, she finds it unacceptable for someone to wish for death, in her mind life is full of innumerable possibilities as long as one has the will strong enough not to there is nothing you cannot achieve. 

After dropping my sister off at the nearest bar, I headed to the Common Temple to find Karina. 

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That night I was sitting at one of the windows of the Communal Temple while I finished talking with Karina, I was taking the opportunity to enjoy the people on the street walking excitedly back and forth. 

"Want to do it today?" (Karina) 

"No, I'll do it tomorrow, but first I have to take care of the Dragon of Light." (I) 

"Are you really going to abandon him depending on the answer he gives?" (Karina) 

"Yes, this Dungeon is not a charity, I won't accept someone unwillingly so easily." (I) 

"But it would be a shame, I already chose a new name for him." (I) 

"Talking about him, a Dragon of Light has been appearing in my dream for the past few days along with a Dragon that seems to be made of stars, you know something about that." (Karina)