A Demon Lord’s Tale: Dungeons, Monster Girls, and Heartwarming Bliss

The Banquet

Editor(s): Speedphoenix,

“Remember this well, Yuki. These are the fools of old, the elders. They are, in truth, but a ragtag congregation of good for nothing drunkards.

“Ahahaha…” I laughed awkwardly as Lefi watched a group of older dragons with a look of exasperation.

Every older dragon was completely drunk off his or her ass, without exception. They’d begun cheering about a banquet the moment we announced that we were planning to stay, which was followed by several other cheers and an even louder, more well received announcement about breaking out the booze. They quickly wrapped up all the preparations in no time and all and immediately got to guzzling unreasonable amounts of alcohol.

The sheer amount of alcohol involved in satiating creatures as large dragons was absurd. There was so much of it that you could smell it in the air for miles, and I felt as if I was going to get drunk from sheer exposure before I so much as took my first sip.

Likewise, the size of each cup was nothing short of absurd. A single one could hold as much fluid as three full bathtubs. They were quite sizable even for the creatures that they were made for. And yet, there were no problems. The entire population was drinking from them like it was totally normal. Some even went for seconds, and more than once at that. Yeah uhh… this whole banquet thing is definitely just an excuse. Y’all motherfuckers need AA.

Our drinks were actually local concoctions, brewed by none other than the dragons themselves. The process leveraged the long lives that dragons lived, and included a good two to three hundred years worth of aging. They were quite proud of how they turned out and claimed that it was undoubtedly the best in the world, and not for no good reason. It was good. And it even had the added bonus functioning like a mid grade mana potion, no doubt a result of liberally applying magic to the brewing process.

“Well, Dragonlord? What do you think of drakenspirit?” asked Lamburr, one of the oldest dragons around. “The outsiders often refer to it as divine nectar. Even the smallest of portions is treated as an item of extreme value. ”

When I first met him, I’d nearly mistaken Lamburr for a boulder. His scales were extremely rugged and stone-like in nature. Not to mention, he’s level six fucking hundred. Dude’s strong as shit.

“Yeah, it’s great,” I answered. It was an honest response, though I probably would’ve ended up saying something similar even if it wasn’t, given the old man’s expectant gaze. “Hell, it’s so good that I kinda want to take some home as a souvenir. ”

“You are free to take as much of it as you would like. ” He laughed happily before raising his cup and draining it in a single breath.

Wow, he’s pretty limber for someone that looks like a giant rock…

Common knowledge dictated that food products containing more magical energy were more delicious than those that had less. Being rich in it only served to make drakenspirit even more mouth-watering than it ever could have been with its long aging process alone. If I had to describe the taste, I would say that it was mild. It had a bit of a sweet, fruity note, and was smooth enough to go straight down the throat with ease. As Lumbarr had described, it was the sort of luxury good worth its weight in gold. The only complaint I had was about the cup size. Like, dude, seriously? What the fuck am I supposed to do with a cup big enough for me to soak in?

One of the best perks of being a demon lord was abnormally high alcohol tolerance. I was capable of drinking a lot. But it simply wasn’t physically possible for me to drain a cup whose volume was several times my own.

“Hey uh… Lefi? Can you help me with this? I don’t think I’m going to be able to finish it by myself. ”

“A fair assumption,” she nodded. “There is little need for you to attempt to finish it if you are incapable, as this banquet is at least in name held in your honour. But very well. I see no reason to refuse. ” She pushed her own cup, which had yet to be touched, towards the first old dragon we met. “Rhodonus. You may have my cup. I shall be sharing my husband’s. ”

“Do you truly not mind?”

“The sizes of our bodies limit the amount we can drink. A single cup will more than suffice. ”

“Then I would be happy to accept. ”

The old dragon giddily picked up the extra cup and placed it right next to his own already half-drained serving. I guess that whole thing Lefi told me about dragons loving booze really was true after all…

After ridding herself of the extraneous portion, Lefi grinned in the way she always did upon suddenly coming up with an idea, and climbed into my lap. Warmth filled me as she rested her back against my chest.

“W-what?”

“I am following through on a sudden urge. ” She gave me the most charming of smiles. “Is there a problem?”

“Of course not. ” I smiled wryly to myself and wrapped my arms around her waist. “It’s just it kinda came out of nowhere. ”

None of my wives were usually all that keen on public displays of affection. Nell refrained from just about anything unless we were alone, and Lyuu very much preferred joking around to acting flirty and snuggling. Lefi was also rather easily embarrassed, but of the three, was the most likely not to care about prying eyes and simply do whatever she willed. Though I guess that do be how it be when you’re the Supreme Dragon… You kinda get to do whatever you want.

“There is nothing wrong with my behaviour. I am merely acting in a manner that I know will please my mate. ”

“Got me there. ” I returned her grin with one of my own. “Having you get all clingy always puts me in a great mood. ”

“Then… Should I be clingy too?” asked Enne.

The sword girl was sitting nearby and sipping on a child-friendly, low alcohol version of Drakenstead’s signature drink. Unlike our cup, hers was normal sized, as it was something that I’d grabbed from my inventory. I’m such an idiot… I should’ve just used one of my own cups too. Listening to the dragons that volunteered to get everything ready for us was a big mistake on my part.

“Sure, neither of us mind you clinging as much as you like. ”

“Indeed. I do not like it if Yuki clings to me for long, as he is quick to turn my affection for him to disgust. But I would not mind if you were to do the same. ”

“Wow. That’s totally unfair and uncalled for. ”

“…Yay. ”

Enne put her cup down, scooted over, and put her head in our laps. Her expression remained unchanged throughout, but it was easy to see that she was fairly happy with the whole situation. Tenne/10 would headpat again.

“It has only been a century since we last met, Leficios, but you’ve changed far more than any of us could have ever imagined. ”

The speaker was Veldunus, a different dragon. He was young, as far as dragons were concerned, and had “only” lived for about one thousand and six hundred years.

“I never thought that you would ever find a mate,” he said, as he studied the both of us as one would an interesting specimen. “How very interesting indeed…”

Now that I think about it, just about every single one of her old acquaintances always says that she’s changed, but she’s pretty much been the same derpy goofball ever since we first met. I wonder if that means she was just really irritable in the past or something.

“The outside world is but full of interesting mysteries to be solved and people to be met, Veldunus. You would do well to leave this place and explore it. ”

“I will certainly consider it,” chuckled the other dragon.

“So, I’ve been wondering, just how was Lefi back when she lived here anyway? You guys are making it sound like she’s really mellowed out. ”

“She has. ” Veldurun nodded nostalgically. “Your mate was born powerful. Even the oldest and mightiest of the elders hoped for her to become Dragonlord, but she did not enjoy the idea of being chained down and, as a result, went on quite the rampage. ”

“Say no more, Veldunust, lest you would like your jaw to extend all the way to your ears. ”

“Well, King, I apologize, but it appears I will have to keep quiet for the sake of safety. Your mate is far too terrifying. ”

“Lefi, please. The only reason I wanted to stay the night was because I wanted to hear more about your past. ”

“There is no reason to speak of it with these fools. I will answer any questions you have of my past in their stead. ”

“It appears that the life you have ahead will be a tough one, King!” Veldunus cackled.

There didn’t quite seem to be any benefit to confirming or denying the claim, so the only answer I offered came in the form of taking a hefty swig of booze.