Born a Monster

306 206 – Confession of Tao Jun

Plotline: Nines

Chapter Type: Backstory (minor character)

Narrator: Wa Fenya

In retrospect, I need not have worried about Tao Jun. His testimony is as follows:

I blame Bai Hu, of course. He is the one who came to me, asking if I wanted to split his pay three ways. This was before the siege, you understand. Coins actually purchased things back then. More coins meant more of life to enjoy.

No, I don’t mean that I could save those to compensate for a bit of unluck. Do you know what happens when one of the merchants is seen living beyond the means of their income? We’d have been executed for certain. But, an extra meat bun purchased and eaten in the market, buying a new set of clothes during the spring surplus? Such things go unnoticed, and go a good deal toward improving one’s lifestyle.

Anyway, this is how Bai Hu drew me in. He even forwarded me a third of a month’s pay as a gesture of good faith. Ha, good faith. How silly that seems now.

But yes, after a mere week, I had spent those funds, and my Greed convinced me that I wanted more.

Bai Hu smiled, and asked me merely to stamp a few identity papers, ones that he had done the inspection work on. Of course, I knew that he hadn’t. But what was I to do? I had already accepted his money, and caste honor demanded that I pay my end of the deal.

.....

Hm? No, Li Ah was downstairs fetching our meals at the time. The actual applying of stamps and letting them dry does not take much time. It is all the formalities that go into checking. That and the rendering of a person’s face, which is done by professional artists. But still, the checks normally require more time than the artwork, so much that it is not unusual for us to have those pictures a day or so before the paperwork is actually ready to prepare.

This is how Li Ah learned of it, by coming back early one lunch. We had an order for two sets of papers that day, and in addition to our normal duties, we were rushed. She caught us fanning the papers to encourage the glue and stamps to dry faster.

No, I am not cold. Bai Hu can truly be terrifying when he chooses. To listen to him speak slowly, calmly to Li Ah, of how we would both say she had conscripted us... That man was a demon in human form, and I doubt anyone misses him.

Ah-ah, you think the guards are silent, do you? No, I assure you, they tell us things, things they think will scare us. But even knowing they will kill me later today, I fear them not so much as I fear Bai Hu. Speaking of him, you are certain the spirit-wards on this jail are maintained?

Very well, then I shall trust you in this matter.

Where was I?

No, no. At no time did Bai Hu even offer her money, and she refused to participate in his additional work tasks, going so far as to destroy any of his paperwork that ended up on her desk. That nearly gave us away, I assure you, when she destroyed Xing Jingyi’s papers, a set that was for a young woman updating her old ones prior to volunteering for military service. She was a Farmer caste, you see.

Anyway, that was, before now, the closest we came to being exposed.

What? No, no, only the one in the lower left ever came to our office. Yes, that one. The androgynous one. I think he is male, but Bai Hu says sometimes he wears female clothes.

I don’t know that; I didn’t think to ask him. The more and more we did this, the more I realized that I didn’t want to know the details.

Me? Oh no, I figured they were one of those shadow groups from the homeland. It wasn’t until you mentioned the Nine that I drew that connection.

Look at me in whatever way you wish, I swear upon the remaining hour or so of my life that it is the honest truth. I know the Hell of Greed awaits me; there is nothing to be gained now.

Of course, where was I? Ah, yes. The month before the mutiny, there were more orders than usual. Bai Hu became grumpy, and he spent long minutes at the end of every day just looking at his jewels. I began to hope that he would ask his benefactors for more payment. In my dreams, they killed him and would only do business with me.

Oh, yes. I would have gladly taken over the reins. Why would I not? Look at your history. By the time any message could reach the homeland, and any reinforcements arrive, the entire siege will be over. Look at your history. Once a siege begins, it is only a matter of time before it ends.

(Period of laughter.)

Is THAT what you believe? You are a fool, then. Why are we already on half rations? I’d wager that those granaries that are supposed to hold two years of supplies, those warehouses holding salted and otherwise preserved foods? No, those aren’t anything close to full. I’d wager the skin off my back that they are already closer to empty.

What other reason COULD there be? You think the admiral would order half rations, not strict rationing, but HALF rations, otherwise? I may not live to see it, but I guarantee you that you are closer to starvation than you realize. And once THAT sets in? Weeks, at most.

Take away the ability of people to heal injuries, and the rest is only death.

So, no. I regret nothing. The winning side of this conflict was over before they declared their mutinies, blame me all you want, I would choose their side every time. And the coins were just a bonus.

Go ahead, ask my family. My family which is poor and hungry, and barely able to work. Take what you think you can from them. That is the way of the conquerors upon the oppressed. You see, my family wins either way. Forgive them, and they will not suffer more than they already are. Punish them, and when the new rulers reverse all your works, ah-ah, and my family actually prospers.

Do it. I won’t be there to see it either way.

For that matter, neither will you.

Oh, very well. What else would you like to know?

Ah-ah, I took pains to forget those names, even if your brute hadn’t smashed my face into the wall.

Of course I recognize that one; you should, too. That is the fourth nephew of the last admiral.

(Period of laughter)

Oh, did I just throw a stone at your glass house of honorable bloodlines? Take a look outside the walls, then. You will find Nobles, and Farmers, and Soldiers and Merchants, just like here within them. Ask them about what we call the mutiny; I assure you, without knowing their actual reasons, that they tell each other they are in the right and you in the wrong.

Xinyi Shi? No, his death is because he chose to fight half a dozen people all by himself. I will never believe that has any moral implications. He was the noble warhorse, pulled down by a pack of dogs.

Ah!

Strike me all you want! Your violence cannot change the truth! For generations, we guards have held ourselves superior to those born the children of inmates. I grew up inside these walls, never even seeing the outside. I assure you, there are monsters like my parents in here. How could I not believe that they are better?

I have seen enough to know that my caste is held in contempt. I assure you, it is we, and not the Farmers, who keep your daily life running. It is our labor, not theirs and definitely not yours... do nobles ever even do work? Part of your job is to hunt the monsters that live in the fringes of society, when is the last time any of you have done that?

Oh? Then I truly do salute you, furry maiden of justice and righteousness.

No, truly. That was not sarcasm. We should all be proud to call you one of our nobles.

Ah-ah, of course you aren’t. That explains so much, and only confirms my beliefs all the more. Oh yes, I am here, but that is a sign of physical superiority, not a matter of intellect or moral superiority. What I did was wrong, and I know it. My life is forfeit, but five of my honors are intact.

What few honors of yours will be intact when the Hells reach out for your soul?

Heh, we will see. We will. Or rather you will; I doubt that I’ll have much of a view where I’m going.

Hmm?

Oh, yes. Upon my ancestors, and my remaining honor, I do so swear. Even the parts of this that don’t fit your understanding of events are indeed true.

And, so sorry, I feel we diminished the Hell of Greed when his head rolled.