Cathulhu Online, MUNYA!

Chapter 186 : Cat Dad’s First Cultivator Experience

WHOOSH

A handsome teenager in an anime’s cosplay clothes appeared out of thin air. His black coat fluttered and the wind on the school rooftop hit Xiaomao’s face.

Xiaomao returned to the real world, wearing game clothes. He reverted to his human form.

While closing his eyes, the system menu updated his synchronization rate.

15%

It was pathetically low. Still, 15% of his game character’s attributes were enough to survive against bullets.

Xiaomao opened his eyes and looked around, pinpointing the general direction that he needed to go.

‘Gotta go east. No, slightly southeast. If I go too east, I’ll end up seeing Kim Jong-un instead.’

While thinking of what to do, Xiaomao took a deep breath and attempted to call out the Inventory Menu in real life for the first time.

“Authority : Inventory!”

DING

A game-like inventory window appeared in front of Xiaomao. All his game items were still there. Not only his inventory appeared, but the other menus also came out, including the latest faction quest that he had recently gotten from Chang’e.

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Faction Quest: Relocating Operation Base

Even though you have no ties to the real world, the Divine Theocracy Earth is still an important strategic location for the Mermaid Kingdom and Chaos Seraphim’s future plans.

First, you must go back to the Divine Theocracy Earth and head to South Korea. Get there and find a place, keep a low profile, return to the World Three, and report back to Undine. As for the legal documents and your new identity, our agents will take care of that for you.

Mission Objective: Infiltrate South Korea

Failure Condition: Local authority catches you, or your identity is exposed.

Mission Rewards: Authority Manual, South Korea ID, EXP, and Contribution EXP

Failure Penalty: You will never see Mu-Nyang again.

*[Cathulhu Instinct]: This is sad, but it’s something that you have to do eventually. Just throw away your ego and cooperate with Mu-Nyang and Chang’e. Then, you will understand everything naturally.

*[Foresight]: Failure in this mission leads to a bad ending.

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That was the quest that Chang’e had given him earlier. It seemed odd as the faction quest required him to do something in the real world instead of completing a task in-game.

Xiaomao had no choice but to complete it. Fortunately, Chang’e gave him one of the quest rewards in advance as Xiaomao needed them in this mission.

He glanced at his game status, which was showing his data.

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Name: Miao Xiaomao

Rarity: Common

Race: Human

Class: Regressor

Class Skill: None

Racial Skill: None

Add-On Skill: Invisible Karma, Basic System Authority

Synchronization Rate: 15%

*[Cathulhu Instinct]: Some data is wrong. You’re definitely not a human.

*[Foresight]: Dormant traits are not shown in the system. The new system authority is also a basic authority that regular players with a 100% sync rate can do. Chang’e just let you get the power early.

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Xiaomao suppressed his excitement, telling himself that he was nothing special. The other players would be able to do the same in the future. Conceit and arrogance that Xiaomao once had disappeared from his mind.

Currently, he thought of himself that he was just another weak superhuman in the world, who got his power early through connection. Moreover, there were immortals and other overpowered cultivators out there that he didn’t know.

Using this new mindset, Xiaomao hid on the rooftop, avoiding everybody and waiting until night.

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Waiting was boring. As Xiaomao had nothing to do while he was waiting for nightfall, he pulled out a flying sword from his inventory and stepped on it, testing if he could command it to fly without using the game’s skill.

‘Please work. Go ahead, sword. Fly!’

RATTLE

The sword trembled under Xiaomao’s feet, but it didn’t float.

Noticing his failed attempt, Xiaomao sighed. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

Xiaomao didn’t know if it was muscle memory or his reflex, but he breathed as if he was cultivating in the dungeon, using the method that Undine had taught him to move his Qi flow around his body.

As soon as Xiaomao inhaled, he widened his eyes in astonishment.

There was Qi in the real world! Although it was thin, Xiaomao could sense that it existed!

It was too late for Xiaomao to stop cultivating as the first real-world’s Qi strand entered his nose. It went directly to his lungs.

Xiaomao raised his focus. He directed the Qi strand to his other organs, moving to the arms first and directing it back to his heart. Even though the catopus anatomy and his real body were completely different, the fundamental was the same.

As Xiaomao only controlled one strand, he found it easy to navigate the Qi to his feet, kidneys, liver, bones, and brain. It took him only two minutes to complete a full lap.

RUMBLE

When Xiaomao was a catopus, his dantian was located next to his heart. However, as a human, his dantian was a little below his belly. The Qi strand moved there and vanished into Xiaomao’s invisible dantian.

Xiaomao narrowed his eyes as he could sense the hot and cold energy below his belly. Unlike the painful cultivation lesson in the game, he felt refreshed. His breathing was smoother, and his muscle fibers were brimmed with strength and flexibility.

Unfortunately, cultivation often purified one’s impurity. A black sweat drop rolled down Xiaomao’s forehead, emitting a disgusting feces-like odor.

Xiaomao swiped it from his face, but the sweat drop was so sticky and oily, comparable to crude oil.

Disgusted by the impurity, Xiaomao wiped his dirty hand against the rooftop fence, painting it black.

After getting rid of the impurity, something inside Xiaomao changed. The Qi strand was converted into an aura, and it resonated with the flying sword, which Xiaomao had failed to use earlier.

Now, it floated and hummed.

Xiaomao turned around and looked at it in astonishment. He could finally sense a connection with it. Although he couldn’t see it, the previous Qi strand now became a bridge between Xiaomao’s dantian and the flying sword.

CLANK-CLANK

Unfortunately, the sword ran out of energy after a minute.

Looking at the flying sword, Xiaomao suddenly had an inspiration.

‘I can’t use mana in the real world until my sync rate reaches 70% or higher, but I can cultivate and use my Qi as a substitute. So if a strand of Qi allows me to fly for a minute, how about 700 or 1000?’

Xiaomao turned to his game inventory menu. Then, he looked at his clothes.

‘Right. I can’t keep wearing fancy cloth if I want to cultivate.’

Sneakily, Xiaomao entered the school building. Using the opportunity when no student or teacher was around due to the explosion of his house a few days ago, he entered the teacher’s toilet.

Teachers in school usually got better facilities and perks. Even their toilets were better than their students, who sometimes needed to take the NUMBER-TWO in an ancient loo that had no door or cover.

In the teacher’s bathroom, Xiaomao found a modern toilet and a southeast Asian country’s bum gun. They looked a lot cleaner than the student bathrooms.

Xiaomao took off his clothes and stored them in his inventory. He sat on the seat as if he was doing the deed since there was no cover.

He sank his hand into the game window, grabbing a spirit stone in one of the inventory slots.

Instead of bringing it out and exposing its Qi to the air, Xiaomao kept it in his inventory. He didn’t pull his hand out as its Qi or item’s presence might alert nearby hidden cultivators or superhumans. Then, he cultivated that posture, absorbing Qi from the spirit stone in his hand inside the inventory menu and circulating it in his human body.

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Three hours later, the sky was dark. The spirit stone in Xiaomao’s hand also dissipated into nothingness.

Xiaomao smirked and pulled out his hand from the inventory menu. Unlike the last time, Xiaomao managed to gather 8000 Qi strands in his dantian.

As Xiaomao had expected, he oozed black liquid all over his body. The poop odor filled the room as if someone who had one-month-long constipation finally unleashed hell in this room.

Xiaomao stood up and turned around, admiring the dirty floor, toilet cover, seat, and inside the toilet. He took the bum gun and sprayed water all over his body, cleaning himself but ignoring the toilet seat.

As a proper Chinese gentleman, he decided to leave his mark for the other teachers to admire. As the ancient mainland Chinese always did : The first shitter gets the clean toilet!

Thinking this far, he wondered what he might do if he was born in India…

Shaking the stupid fantasy off his head, Xiaomao focused on taking a bath and rushed out of the toilet. Then, he sealed the door and let the smell collect its strength to surprise the next visitors.

After drying himself and putting on his clothes, Xiaomao returned to the rooftop. He brought out a flying sword to try again.

RUMBLE

The sword floated. Xiaomao stepped on the sword and balanced himself. Although shaky and unstable, Xiaomao was delighted.

Finally, Xiaomao could fly in the real world with a game skill!

Xiaomao crouched and restrained his shaky legs. Nervous but excited, he controlled the sword in his mind. It slowly took off.

It started out slow and shaky. But five minutes later, Xiaomao stopped holding the sword with his hand and stood up, maintaining a stance as if he was skateboarding or surfing. With a slight tilt, the sword turned.

‘Oh, hey. This is fun!’

Xiaomao brightly smiled as he flew higher and higher. Soon, the city became so small that Xiaomao could only see the lights from buildings and the traffic.

He looked down and admired the scenery. For the first time, he flew as a human, not a catopus.