Code Zulu Alpha: Nerd in the Apocalypse!

Chapter 413: 413

Jared, Russel, and Lawrence were watching our vehicles below in the parking area while the rest of us were making one last look-around for any blind spots or anything else similar that could jeopardize their stay inside. The place had fewer undead bodies roaming around as expected and we decided to not burn them as to not give away their hiding spot easily.

Max, Crisanto, and Alonzo were picking the places they should use as a vantage point while Tatiana called Kaley and me over to the storage area.

When we found the right room, everyone present was wearing a different set of expressions because the ‘supplies’ inside was more than enough for a couple to have safe intercourse, chafe-free experience, roleplay options, and references for a good number of years. There were some food items as well but comparing their amount from the items most used here was stupid.

Tatiana was the only one nonchalant from seeing the huge amount of condoms, lube, costumes, toys, and p.o.r.n inside the storage area. She already had a bag ready and she was hauling everything that interested her. No one followed her immediately but the trade value of everything inside here especially p.o.r.n was mind-blowing so I immediately took a great number of them with the boxes and boxes of condoms. I had a little weird incident about it before but it was too late and too far to get embarrassed about it now.

“Let’s haul most of this stuff in the pickups. The only thing heavy from this place is the gallons of lube and sodas. There are hidden compartments in my Raptor so we could place a few more there.” I said to the group.

“Sky…” Kaley was wearing an embarrassed expression.

“What? This? Condoms are actually a great survival tool because it could be repurposed for different things like a water container, a make-shift glove, a part of a slingshot, a cover for the muzzle of a gun, and if you’re feeling a little lonely, you could blow it up to a balloon and draw a face in it. Remember that volleyball from that movie?” I chuckled as I explained a few things.

It took us a bit of time and Mark managed to come back and catch up with us. We used their vehicles to store more supplies but the moment they saw the phallic objects that were as long as a grown man’s arm, chaos ensued.

They each pulled out a ‘weapon’ and I decided to be the background music.

“DAN DAN DAN~ DAN DANAN~ DAN DANAN~ DAN DAN DAN~ DAN DANAN~ DAN DANAN~ DAN DAN DAN DAN DANANANAN DAN DAN DAN DANANANAN DAN- OW! KALEY!” I tried to sing the Imperial March but I stopped when Kaley pointed a ‘weapon’ on my ‘dark side’ with a threatening expression after hitting me with it.

However, even if Kaley stopped me, Russel went out of control and dual-wielded. He started to drum on the counter and even if the sound of rubber d.i.c.ks hitting the wooden counter was weird, everyone banded up for that part in the song.

*THUD* *THUD*

*THUD* *THUD*

*THUD* *THUD*

“I CAN FEEL IT, COMING IN THE AIR TONIGHT~” Russel went high.

“OH LORD~” everyone followed like a congregation.

It was so f.u.c.k.i.n.g stupid but everyone got a huge laugh and even Kaley sang with me. We even finished the whole song and the morale was f.u.c.k.i.n.g high.

Before we left the three, we secured another vehicle for their use just in case they needed to haul ass. It was a simple sedan but we filled it with fuel, enough for them to drive back and some more. Aside from that, I made sure that they have enough ammo and we briefly discussed this love hotel’s nook and crannies so they’d be able to move freely when trouble comes.

It was close to sundown so we drove home. We didn’t use the roads we haven’t traversed yet because we might get held up with unknown encounters. It would be a job for tomorrow when we come back to this city for a cleanup operation.

We just drove through the undead on the way back and the Raptor being at the front made it a non-issue. We dropped Lawrence off to his outpost but he almost lost it when we left him a box of a dozen rubber lightsabers. We eventually reached out home without issue and Oscar and the rest were already there. They were in the process of unloading everything but I discovered that Oscar came back with another V8 engine. However, it came with new racing tires and a few dozen accessories.

“Old man, when are you coming back with a whole car?” I teased.

“Bah! If that f.u.c.ker would f.u.c.k.i.n.g sell me a whole one, I’d buy it! The f.u.c.ker has been coming to the Intercity always selling parts! Well, this V8 is hard to come by, especially in this country, so I bought it! He told me he got a body and the chassis for a ’67 Camaro so I said I’ll take a look tomorrow.” Oscar grumbled.

“Isn’t the guy just taking apart his car and just selling them individually? Are you sure you’re not getting ripped off?”

“Nah, seems like a straight guy and the dude doesn’t even touch guns. I offered him a few pistols before but he declined and just requested more food. He just says they’re too loud and his bow is enough for the dead.”

“Wait, it’s not the same guy you brought the other V8 from?”

“Well, yes, but actually, no. Lois and I came back to the store we bought that engine from before and it turns out, he also bought it from the guy I talked to earlier. They knew each other from before so we got to talking and I bought another one from the guy. Oh yeah, I got to tell you something.”

“Hmm? What is it?”

“A few trucks actually came over there with unhusked rice. It’s from Mauricio’s farms, I believe. I dropped by a few moments but my f.u.c.k.i.n.g nose is getting clogged up when they started milling them. I talked to him briefly and it feels like he didn’t even care we executed his wife and his kid. I know he doesn’t give a f.u.c.k but he’s acting like they never existed in the first place. Are we sure we want to work with that guy?”

“Hmm, we’ll never know what’s going on in his head until we get Marisha to talk with him. We’ve made deals with shady people even before this thing started old man so we do what we always do. Did he ask for me yet? I got another operation lined up because we drove by to Malabon’s City Hall. It’s actually…” then I proceeded to tell him the rest of the story.

“Shit kid, you’re piling more and more work on ya.”

“It’s like playing a game with all the quest markers present. If we don’t do it, who will? Let’s talk about it more in the meeting because I’ll be bringing more people.”

“I don’t even f.u.c.k.i.n.g understand half of that but sure kid, just don’t overwork yourself. That’s a lot of boxes, what’s inside this o- HAAA~ HAHAHAHA~!!! DAN DAN DAN~ DAN DANAN~ DAN DANAN~ HAHAHAHA~!!! Kid! Give me one of these so Matthew and I will scare the f.u.c.k out of Johnny when he passes out while drinking! Wait- give me two boxes because I know a few old ladies in the Intercity who could use one or two of these taped together, AHAHAHAHA~!!! I could sell this shit for a whole~ f.u.c.k.i.n.g~ lot I tell ya. A whole~ f.u.c.k.i.n.g~ lot.”

Oscar’s last suggestion gave me goosebumps and the look on Kaley and Cynthia’s faces after hearing that was f.u.c.k.i.n.g priceless. It didn’t help them much when Rin came down to check on the items we brought back. Rin was shaking her head in disbelief while Tatiana was just nodding nonstop with a nasty grin.

“What have I done…” I thought to myself.

On the other hand, Russel was smacked in the head by his dad when he saw his dual-wielding weapons but the two laughed non-stop after a short pause.

Time eventually passed and most of us taking a break or had nothing to do were in front of the television. It has been a while since the last presidential broadcast because the past ones were mostly pre-recorded footage or just replays.

The president was in the same getup as before but when he started his speech, most of us were surprised by who was standing behind him. Everyone knew him from around the world and even if he was a professional prizefighter, he was also one of the senators of our country.

We couldn’t mistake him for anyone else and the people inside my house started losing their shit when he was given the chance to speak.

“So he’s still alive eh?” I was smiling from ear to ear.