Code Zulu Alpha: Nerd in the Apocalypse!



There was one thing that we forgot despite trying to prepare everything beforehand and it was to set a proper alarm. However, that didn't mean that Jesus and his crew did not, so let's just say that the four of us were literally met with a rude awakening.

A resounding explosion just came out of nowhere and screaming instantly followed.

"THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, JESUS?!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

"I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!!!"

The sudden explosion jolted Kaley and me awake but Quinn screaming at the top of her lungs made us jump from our bed. But right as we were about to rush outside, it only took a fraction of a second before the door to this room swung open, and several smoking packets were thrown inside. And almost immediately, a putrid fucking smell assaulted our noses, and the fucking door was also closed shut.

A few seconds had just passed but our eyes were watery while we were trying so fucking hard not to throw up, but I pulled on the blanket we had and gathered the corners, making a makeshift pouch.

"Kaley! T-Throw them here!"

"WHAT?! JUST BUST THE DOOR OPEN!"

"WE DON'T KNOW WHAT'S OUT THERE!"

"F-FUCK IT, BLEUUGHH!!! BLEG— I'M RUNNING OUTSIDE!!!"

"KALEY, NO!!!"

My original plan was to gather the packets and throw them inside the shower room—and somehow douse them with water—but everything was thrown out the window when Kaley rushed for the door. And yeah, simply running inside the showers and waiting it out was also an option but just the fucking smell from those packets made us think irrationally.

There was something about using stink as weapons and it was working its fucking wonders.

However, all of the alarms in my head were ringing when Kaley easily opened the door—and something was definitely wrong when Kaley saw the scene from the other side.

Not only did she backpedal almost immediately, but she also turned to me with an expression I had never seen before.

If we were home and just messing around, I would've run faster than her but even if this place was Quinn's domain, it was still unfamiliar territory. Seeing Kaley scared for her life triggered my fight-or-flight response, and I launched myself outside after grabbing the closest thing I could use as a weapon.

The first thing I saw was this huge hole where a brick wall with several picture frames was supposed to be, but Quinn was inside several rolls of yoga mats—getting tightened by resistance bands while Tatiana was fucking missing. Furthermore, Jesus and his crew were all present with a deranged look on their faces, and they all turned to me slowly, looking like they'd eat me alive.

"FRESH MEAT, BOIS—"

"WHY'S HIS DICK OUT—"

"WHAT'S THAT ON HIS HANDS?!"

But before they had the chance to do anything to me, I dashed and got between everyone and aimed for the ringleader as I smashed a 24-inch dildo with a 10-inch diameter on his fucking face.

"FUCK—"

Jesus had no fucking way to dodge because I released every bit of killing intent I had and contained it in the circle where everyone else is present, making them fall to their knees or freeze in place.

At that point, he flipped in the air due to a huge fucking fake penis and I aimed for the one next to him even if he was already pissing his pants.

I didn't even notice that my fingers had already dug into the blunt weapon I was holding, and it ripped from my hand due to how hard I was gripping it, and due to how hard I smacked the living shit out of my immobilized targets.

In a couple of seconds, I took down their savior plus a little extra but when I turned around to fuck up the last four, two of them managed to snap out of it and were about to jump me from the air while the other two were about to go for my legs. However, I quickly backpedaled like Kaley before I rushed back when the two who were about to perform a jumping attack landed on their feet.

"SHIT—"

"WHY'S HE STILL FUCKING HARD?!"

I was this fucking close to fucking them up but I completely forgot that I was still in the nude—sporting a huge fucking morning wood—swinging it around as I took down two of them. It made me stop in my tracks but they took it as the chance to get back at me. However, Tatiana just came from the huge hole in the wall and I didn't even know how she fucking did it, and boy I'm gonna tell all of you that she had never looked so pissed.

Dust and debris were present on her hair and face; by the looks of it, she looked like she went through hell and back just for this little "prank" they put us on. However, I just noticed that her fists were already bruised—meaning that she probably took down Meg who was also missing.

'Shit. This is gonna get out of hand real quick—'

But before we did anything that could cause permanent damage, I slipped, slid, and dodged the incoming attacks towards me, and I got in between them—revealing Tatiana's presence and current intention. Because if looks could literally kill, everyone present would have been dead already.

It's just that Tatiana was really aiming to do just that so I held her down and tried to calm her down.

"Easy, now—"

"THEY PULLED ME OUT OF THE BUILDING!!!"

"Huh?"

"THEY TIED ME TO THE COUCH WHILE I WAS SLEEPING AND THEY BLEW THE WALL THEN PULLED ME OUT WITH IT!"

"Oh."

"IS THAT ALL YOU'RE GONNA FUCKING SAY?!"

And at this point, I chuckled as I kept my boner and cracked my knuckles and my neck.

"Yeah~ Fuck it, let's just break a few unneeded bones so we get to punish them more later."

Tatiana cracked her knuckles as well as she began to release her own brand of killing intent, "Agreed."

"Uh-oh," the four just gulped at the same time before a look of dread appeared on their faces.

Long story short, we didn't actually go hard on our would-be tour guides that we actually offended for not waking up at the right time, but let's just say that we found flesh sheathes for Quinn's huge-ass toy collection.